To Sip of Black Velvet
by EtherealCrescent
Summary: He stopped her heart with one look. And although she knows that playing with fire is wrong she can't help but relish in the thought that they'd be burning together. Kagome falls in love with a married Sesshoumaru.
1. Chapter 1: To Live in the Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 1: Living in the Fire**

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><p><em>PROLEPSISFLASHFOREWARD:_

He is so warm.

Even though his eyes and voice are always cold and his demeanor is irrevocably icy—he always lights fires in me.

As I lay underneath his arm, with his bare chest pressed firmly against my bare back I try to pretend that we were always like this and that we'd always stay like this. I let my thoughts be the reassurance that he can never give me. I let the heat take over.

I let my mind project scenes of a lifetime we'd never share together against the pale white wall of the hotel room that my eyes have taken an interest in as the alternative to sleep. If only we could burn forever in the fire that he'd started in me, in the relationship that set all the rules and all the vows ablaze.

He stirs and makes to turn over in his sleep. As he pulls his arm away from my form, his left hand glides over my skin, leaving a trail of ice in its absence. It chills my soul. That cold hard metal—that symbol of forever to others, was for me nothing more than a reminder that _we _would never be.

It was ironic that I was playing with fire but it was that ring—that ring of ice that would surely be the death of me.

. . .

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><p>Word Count: 226<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: The Chills

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 2: The Chills**

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><p>I had been working as a waitress at <em>Kaichou <em>for a little over six months on the night he walked into the bar.

The bar was usually filled with regulars. Most made a suitable living but a large handful were living paycheck to paycheck, squandering away much needed cash on booze and fairly decent entertainment. They were my kind of crowd.

I was only working there because I had to. It had been a necessary evil, really. My mother couldn't afford to provide for her 'confused' child anymore while she was putting my younger brother through university and taking care of the bills for my grandfather in the hospital. I had never been able to get into university with my test scores and the only real thing I'd ever wanted to do was sing, so basically I'd been just wasting space at the family shrine while I "figured things out".

Originally I'd tried to be a paid singer at _Kaichou_ but was told that I sounded "too technical" and that my singing was "too forced". Furthermore, Miroku, the bar owner, informed me that my singing "just didn't give him goosebumps". After critiquing me, he offered me a waitress job saying that I could sing whenever his main entertainment couldn't show. I eagerly accepted it since I needed the money to afford the one-bedroom hole-in-the-wall apartment that I'd be moving into anyways.

Kikyo was the main entertainment. Kikyo was a wonderful singer. Kikyo gave people goosebumps before a note even left her throat—I hated Kikyo. Sometimes I found myself wishing she would catch laryngitis or up and get a record deal so that I wouldn't be stuck in her shadow, cleaning tables anymore. But she was too perfect and humble to even try to get a record deal and much to my amazement, in the six months that I'd worked there, Kikyo had always been able to show up for work.

So imagine how shocked and unprepared I was the night I showed up late for work and Miroku informed me that I'd be singing in 5 minutes. It seemed that I had gotten my wish, Kikyo had miraculously caught laryngitis.

I stood on the stage trembling. I was so scared. I knew that when Miroku finished introducing me that my voice would be a shaky mess. I'd surely never get another chance to sing at the bar ever again. And as I stood there, silently cursing Kikyo in my head, _he_ walked into the bar.

He was beautiful—my heart stopped. He was wearing an expensive business suit, expensive shoes, and carrying an expensive briefcase… but I didn't notice any of that. I noticed his delicate pale skin, his strong form, and the graceful dance that was his stride. I noticed the tendrils of long silver tresses that swayed with his motions and the distinct magenta stripes that lined his cheeks. He was a demon and by the looks of it he was a Daiyoukai.

He sat down at a table in the back row. His bangs had been hiding half of his face to me and honestly if I'd never gotten to see the other half perhaps things could have ended up turning out differently. Perhaps I could have moved on, forgotten about him, and my life could have stayed as relatively simple as it had always been. But as it turned out, he looked up. He looked straight at me, baring the last symbol on his face to me, a crescent moon. He stared directly into my eyes with his own impossibly golden-colored ones and I knew immediately that I had to find a way to make him stare at me forever. So I did the only thing I knew how to do and luckily the thing that had also been required of me, I began to sing.

I suppose if I could have heard myself, I'd be able to tell you that it was the most beautiful sound that had ever come out of me. But I can't remember a thing about it. The only thing that mattered to me during those short few minutes was that he never once took his gaze off me.

When the song was over and everyone had finished applauding, Miroku broke my trance.

"Kagome?" he said.

"…yeah?" I replied.

"Your voice, it—it gave me the chills."

And that was how I formally became a singer at _Kaichou_.

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><p>Word Count: 738<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: All in a Name

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. they are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 3: All in a Name**

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><p>I didn't see him for quite some time after the first night he walked into the bar. That night he'd disappeared before I'd returned from backstage and I hadn't gotten a chance to find anything out about him. I figured I'd wait for him to show up again but after weeks and weeks of him failing to do so, I was beginning to think that I'd never see him again. It hurt me to think it.<p>

Looking back now I realize that he continues to have a way of doing that to me, a way of leaving me close to desperate and then jumping back into my life to heal the pains that he causes. It's how he always gets his way. But back then, on the day he finally returned to _Kaichou_, I was sure that it was me who was getting my way.

It was close to closing time when the Daiyoukai walked in, looking as striking as he had the first time. He calmly sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. A Black Velvet, I overheard. He looked haughty and disdainful, not giving anyone besides the bartender, Sango, a mere glance. I watched from afar as one unlucky girl attempted to start a conversation with him. He might as well have proclaimed his utter disgust at the infringement with the glare he gave her. For a moment, I considered not approaching him but it was then that I saw his gaze shift momentarily to the vacant stage. _Was he looking for me?_Before I knew it, I was being drawn towards him, my legs moving against my own free will.

When I stopped I stood slightly behind his left shoulder. My hands were clammy and my heart was racing. My words were caught in my throat so I gulped hoping to liberate at least a syllable. But before I could, he spoke.

"Your name?" he inquired, taking another sip of his drink. He didn't even bother turning to face me.

"Kagome Higurashi ." I answered, realizing that the words somehow flowed easy when he wanted them to.

"Kagome." He repeated under his breath, testing out the new bit of information on his lips. I trembled at the sound of my name uttered in the deep smooth velvety tenor that was his voice. It seemed that I had never really heard my name before.

I continued to stare at his back, entranced by the slight motion of his lavish silver strands as he shifted his head to take another sip of his Black Velvet. I attempted to fill the silence.

"May I ask your na—"

"You sing." He interrupted, stating it rather than asking.

Normally, being the hot-head that I am, I would have immediately called any man out on such rudeness. I would have walked away, or at least rolled my eyes at the audacity to ignore such a simple question. But he wasn't any man and I felt anything but normal. So all I managed to do was stumble over my words as I replied, "Uh… Y-yes, I sing… I-I have been all of my life."

"Then sing." He replied, noncommittally waving his hand towards the stage. I thought I saw something gleam in the bar lights with the motion.

"…I sang earlier, the stage is closed for the night." I informed him. My skin paled, I did not want to turn down his request.

He made no reply and merely finished off his drink. As he stood up to leave, I wanted to cry out but then he turned to face me.

Hot golden eyes slowly inched their way up my form, singeing me with every glimpse. His face was expressionless but in his eyes I saw a desire that burned so fiercely that I went up in flames. I merely gasped as I eagerly gave into the heat. He set my soul ablaze. My knees went weak and I grabbed on to the bar counter to steady myself.

"Later…" He stated, in an expressionless voice that contradicted everything held within his gaze."You will sing for me."

We continued watching each other for many more endless seconds and then he turned away abruptly, cutting off the warmth, and leaving me staring after his retreating form. When he had finally disappeared I turned back to the bar, realizing that I still knew absolutely nothing about him. Sango stared at me with a questioning sparkle in her eyes. I merely shrugged at her, trying my best to hide away the desperation I was feeling at his departure.

She knew better. Somehow she always knew what I was thinking.

"Then, I guess you won't be needing this?" She teased, holding up a rectangular card. I snatched it away on pure instinct.

I gazed down at it taking in the letters and numbers.

I vaguely heard Sango speaking in the background. I only caught some pieces of it. There was something about how the card must have been left for me and about how she didn't know that I was into Daiyoukai. All her other words were lost to me as I looked at that rectangle card.

It was a business card. It had just a name and office number printed on the front and on the back, scribbled in the most legible script I had ever read, was another phone number.

"Sesshoumaru Taisho" I whispered under my breath, testing out the new information. It sounded smooth and dark and mysterious and it felt right that such a sound was falling from my lips. Until then, it seemed, I had never really spoken a name before.

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><p>Word Count: 939<p> 


	4. Chapter 4: For the Green Eyed Bellboy

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 4: For the Green-eyed Bellboy**

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><p>" Meet me at <em>The Neru<em> at 9 o'clock." Was all he said before he hung up.

It had taken me two days to decide to call him and I hadn't even gotten to say who I was before he hung up on me. He hadn't even said hello when he answered.

It was a cold and rainy night as I sat outside in my car staring out of the window. My first thought was that I should've worn a jacket, my second was that I could've worn anything really. _The Nero_, as it turned out, was a hotel. I had assumed it would be a restaurant when I looked up the directions to get there. I'd worn my little black dress for nothing. I gazed out the window wondering what we were doing meeting here. I felt insulted. It was a very beautiful hotel, probably a five star hotel, but I wasn't the type of person who would really know the difference anyways and it was still _just _a hotel. What was he presuming of me by inviting me here?

I was startled out of my thoughts by a tap on my window. I rolled it half-way down.

"Ma'am?" A red-headed young boy in a bell-boy uniform spoke through the tinted glass while holding an umbrella. "Mr. Taisho sent me to show you to your suite. He is expecting you."

"Arigato, but I won't be needing your assistance. Would you let him know that I'm not coming?" I decided immediately upon hearing that he'd sent for me. I would not be summoned like a child.

"Please allow me to show you to your suite. Mr. Taisho won't be happy and I really need my job." His demon-green eyes pleaded with me.

"I'm sure you wouldn't lose your job over this. He doesn't seem like the type to whine to a manager or anything." I replied as I gave the boy a reassuring smile.

"He won't have to… Mr. Taisho owns this building as well as most of the buildings in this district. And he's notorious for firing, well everyone, when he visits them." He informed me.

"Oh." I stated slightly shocked. "I guess I could tell him myself then, for your sake." I winked at him and he smiled back. "Oh, and my name is Kagome. I don't feel old enough to be a ma'am yet."

"Ok then. Arigato, Kagome." He beamed at me. I liked him immediately.

I stepped out of the car and under the umbrella. He walked me inside the hotel. It was very elegant, far more luxurious than I'd even guessed from outside. The boy showed me to the elevator and had to use a key for us to get to the penthouse suite. After stepping off the elevator I turned and asked the boy what his name was.

"My name's Shippou." He stated, grinning ear to ear. His smile was the last thing I saw before the elevator door closed.

"Would you like a drink?" A smooth voice behind me asked as I turned to see Sesshoumaru standing there. Seeing and hearing him for the first time since I'd learned his name, I mused that everything about him went together perfectly. Everything about him was dark, sultry, and mysterious.

"No thank you." I replied after a few moments. "I actually came up here to let you know that I wouldn't be coming." I said before I realized how dumb it sounded. Shippou definitely owed me one.

"I think you must have changed your mind, Kagome." He replied smirking. "It looks as though you are already here."

"I—the boy downstairs…" I tried to explain but I couldn't think straight. He'd said my name so familiarly and the amusement in his voice was so alluring. Somehow I knew that few people had heard such a sound from him.

"I am pleased that you changed your mind." He stated frankly, voice deep and tempting, "Perhaps that boy might be worth keeping around after all."

"Who, Shippou? Yeah, he's great!" I smiled. "I promised him you wouldn't fire him."

"And you think that I wouldn't because of you?" He inquired arching a brow.

"No. Well yes—I mean… I guess I assumed you wouldn't... or something " I said, frowning slightly.

"So perplexed Kagome?" He asked, the hint of amusement once again resurfacing along with a devious gleam in his eyes. "I will not fire the boy if you will stay and have a drink with me."

"Okay, deal." I replied smiling. How much harm could come from one drink anyway?

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><p>Word Count: 764<p>

_Don't forget to review._

_**Author's Note**: I may start putting up the chapters I've already written more quickly, what do u think? Personally, I've al_ways felt that the wait adds to the mood in a story.__


	5. Chapter 5: Closed Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 5: Closed Eyes**

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><p>He retrieved a glass of wine for me and we sat down in the living room. I didn't even know hotels had living rooms. I looked around and felt so out of place. Everything in the penthouse suite looked exquisite and expensive. I'd never been anywhere so beautiful and Sesshoumaru <em>owned <em>such a place? I took a large gulp of my drink to relax my nerves.

"Is something wrong?" Sesshoumaru asked, noticing my behavior.

"It's just… this place is so beautiful. I dressed thinking I was going out to a restaurant and I still don't measure up to it…" I explained.

"Do not be foolish." He stated rather harshly. "I would not have invited you up here if I thought little of you."

"Oh, well thanks." I smiled slightly, still a little unsure of myself as I reached for the wine bottle and poured myself a bit more.

He nodded and then proceeded to take my wine glass from me.

"I thought you wanted me to have a drink with you?" I asked, confused.

"You will sing for me now." He evenly replied. "And I would not want you to be too inebriated to do so."

"You really want me to sing for you—_here_?" I asked, gesturing around the room to remind him that we were not in a bar.

"I do not repeat myself Kagome. " He assured me. His velvety tone was mesmerizing and all at once I was ready to do anything he'd asked of me.

"W—What would you like me to sing?" I inquired, completely aware of the shallowness of my breathing.

"I do not care about the details." He stated promptly.

I thought for a moment and then opened my mouth—

"Stand." He insisted, cutting off my first note.

I hesitantly stood, brushing down the wrinkles in my dress, and looked down at him. The close scrutiny of his gaze burned into me. I relished in the feeling.

He nodded for me to begin so I cleared my throat and let my melody flow into the room.

As I continued to stare down at him, I witnessed something untamed free itself from deep within him and it pushed me harder. I sang from just as deeply within myself.

Moments went by and his gaze never faltered from mine. His eyes were like embers in a fire, heating something in me that I was unaware had been chilled.

"Close your eyes." He demanded softly and I let my eyelids flutter shut like the wings of butterflies. I could hear him arise from the couch and with every gentle step closer his presence grew stronger. I could feel his warmth building within my own skin. I continued to sing.

As he stalked forward, encircling me, his essence wrapped around me possessively and it somehow soothed my soul. My voice felt smoother as it left my lips.

Then his body was behind me, pressing softly up against mine. Strands of our hair mixed together and ghosted across the flesh of my shoulder as he leaned in and lowered his mouth to whisper lustfully into my ear. "You are too tempting like this, Kagome."

The heat of his breath surged through me and the desire in his voice clutched at my body. I marveled at my own voice as it dropped an octave and went raspy of its own accord.

I could feel him smile against the skin of my neck at my reaction to him and I couldn't help but feel pleased that he was pleased with me. His open-mouth hovered above the tremor of my pulse, his fangs scraped me gently as something rough and wet peaked out to barely indulge in the taste my skin. Slowly his body shifted to stand in front of me. His presence was overwhelming and I sensed it bearing down on me. I felt a clawed hand run gently down the side of my face and I could feel him inching nearer. My voice died down to a mere whisper and I could barely manage to keep my knees from buckling beneath me.

He was so close. And as I felt the warmth of his lips connect at the corner of my mouth, I killed my song and hungrily returned and deepened the kiss. He tasted forbidden and an incomprehensible need surged through my body to devour him before I lost the chance—a need that begged me to let the heat take over.

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><p>Word Count: 745<p>

**_Author's Notes:_**_ Don't hate me for that! I'm sorry for stopping the story there._


	6. Chapter 6: Cold and Hard

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 6: Cold and Hard**

**_WARNING:_**_ Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with sexually explicit content! Lemon_

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><p>We were burning.<p>

Hands grasped eagerly, claws and nails scraped across each other's bodies, tearing away at clothes that did no more than get in the way. We were frantic. Passion guided us, lighting the torches along our frenzied path as both he and I followed unquestioningly. His body pressed hard against mine as we descended onto the soft plush rug that lay on top of the hardwood floor. The muffled sounds of our groaning bellowed through the room as our bodies frantically tried to cool themselves with more heat.

He broke our kiss and pulled back to gaze down at my body as I panted heavily, sucking in the thick warm air that had enclosed around us. His dress shirt hung unbuttoned and open, baring the chiseled muscles of his chest to me, and my dress had somehow been removed during the impassioned struggle.

In that moment, my mind regained some clarity and I remembered that I hardly knew the demon gazing down at me. I knew his name, his number, and that he owned the building and suite that we lay half-naked on the floor in. But as I lay there thinking for that moment, he used it to run one of his clawed fingers down the skin of my inner thigh and I suddenly _did not care_ what I didn't know about him. I wanted him—no—_needed_ him so I drug my body up to push his open shirt off his shoulders. I began raking my nails down his exposed chest, marveling at the feel his muscles quaking beneath my touch. My mouth watered.

His body was a furnace. Everywhere I touched my skin tingled with a desire so hot it burned. He watched me intently with a blank face and heavy lidded eyes as I let my hands drag all the way down his heated skin to begin hastily undoing his belt. He growled out approvingly at my actions as he shoved me back onto the soft rug to quickly finish the deed himself.

Writhing out of both his dress pants and boxers, he then set off to do away with the remaining bits of clothing that hid me from him. He fluidly sliced off my bra and I arched my body upwards to help him remove the last piece of laced fabric from around my hips. After tossing them somewhere into the void that surrounded our forms, he then quickly lowered himself down on top of me, placing himself perfectly in between my legs.

His mouth ran across my skin, kissing and licking and biting wherever he thought best. He paid ample attention to my breasts, slowly dragging his fangs across them and sucking on the mounds of my sensitive flesh. I could feel his large hardened member throbbing against my folds pleadingly and I felt my thighs grow slick in anticipation. He rose and one clawed hand reached down to grip my hip while the other was placed on the ground in support. I sucked in a tight breath, awaiting him, and then he

—stopped.

His body froze but his gaze drifted slowly to take in my form, working its way up my curves until he stared deeply into my eyes—into my soul, with his own lust-filled amber ones.

"Is this what you want?" He asked, his voice was ragged and coated in desire. The seriousness in his tone told me that it was my last chance to walk away from this. He would not go on if I did not consent but if I did I would be his for the taking.

I didn't even think about it.

"Yes." I answered and as the strangled noise left my throat, I felt his grip on my hips tighten.

His eyes remained fixed on mine as he began parting me, filling me so achingly slow that it was painful. I tried to press myself against him, dying to quicken the movement but his grip on my hips was relentless. He held me in place, eyes lidded lowly, as I cried out beneath him. "Please." I begged. It seemed that he took a few more seconds to relish in the torture and then he thrust into me so deeply that my mind clouded over. I cried out loudly and he groaned, as my hands tangled themselves within the silver curtain of his hair. I was stretched so tightly around him it seemed impossible. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and his breathing grew shallow as he repeatedly shoved his hard length inside of me. With every thrust my body shuddered and threatened to come apart at the seams.

His deep rhythm was devouring me. I opened my eyes, unaware that I had clenched them tight enough that tears had formed at the corners, and opened my mouth to tell him to_ stop_ and to _never stop_ what he was doing to me. But all that I could seem to put into words was his name. "_Sess..hou..ma..ru_" I strained to force out behind my cries and heavy breathing.

He growled low and feral in response, the vibrations rumbling within his chest, before arising to fix me with a carnal gaze that bore into my being. His eyes were now a dark crimson and the stripes on his cheeks had grown jagged. He rapidly tore my hands from within his hair and maneuvered them above my head, trapping them with the weight of his own. His back bowed violently and his breaths came in sharp heavy pants as he thrust into me deeper—again, and again, _and again_.

My body twisted and writhed beneath his as his ministrations made me crazy, I screamed. I bucked under him and my back arched fiercely as I felt myself clench around him tighter, drawing him in to me as if he belonged inside of me forever. He snarled out and plunged into me harder. My eyes rolled back and I felt myself burn away as he continued to stroke me mercilessly until I came, hard. My long dormant miko powers surged just beneath my skin. Purity danced with fire as pleasure shot through my limbs.

Pleasure flowed up my body and it was as if he licked away the flames to keep them at bay. He kept going, dragging my pleasure out so dangerously long as I bawled out loud my gratitude, tears soaked my face. He leaned down and grabbed the back of my head to force a hard and needy kiss against my lips until he grunted into my mouth and spilled into me. His entire body jerked and quivered at the intensity of his release and he let his body crumple on to the floor on top of mine.

We stayed resting there, molded into each other as our breathing slowed. And I thought over what had happened. I felt no regret, no reservations against what I had allowed myself to do. I could not have stopped myself if I had wanted to. My body had been in need of his. He had filled an emptiness, a longing, that I had not even been aware of having, one that I would not be able to live with after this night.

I shuddered at the thought that I had been so empty for so long. I reached to grab his hand, wishing to intertwine every part of our bodies together, wishing to hold on to him forever, but my fingers brushed against something _cold and hard_ that immediately left me feeling _cold and lifeless_.

Realization dawned on me.

It was a ring.

"You're… married." I allowed myself to murmur out quietly in disbelief, as if it was merely a rumor I'd heard whispered in the wind.

It was then that I was sure I heard the unforgettable sound of my heart breaking.

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><p>Word Count: 1309<p> 


	7. Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Mess

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-An Affair to Remember-**

**Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Mess**

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><p>I grabbed the broom from the closet in my apartment. I needed to clean up the glass shards that littered the floor of my tiny living room. My eyes were still clouded over with tears and I hoped that I could see them all.<p>

As I cleaned my mind ran over what had happened.

. . . .

"Yes." He replied evenly to me as if it meant nothing.

"What do you mean yes?"I yelled angrily at him.

"You inquired if I was married, and I am." He responded as his naked body was still resting against mine.

I tried to drag my body from underneath his, but he was too heavy.

"Get off of me!" I yelled, for the second time.

"Cease your shrieking." He replied, a slight edge to his tone. A moment later he arose, eyes fixed on mine as he slid out of me deliberately slow.

I tried to ignore the feeling that shot up my body and stood up to reach for the nearest fabric to cover my exposed skin. It turned out to be his dress shirt.

"I'm sorry." I apologized for most likely hurting his sensitive ears with my yelling. And then I was angry at myself for actually feeling bad for it. He was the one who should feel bad.

"Why would you not tell me you were married?" "Why did you sleep with me?" "Why—" I asked so many questions that I couldn't even keep up with them. I was too preoccupied trying to keep my eyes averted from his perfectly sculpted and still completely bare form.

"I have worn my ring every time that you have seen me… you approached me at the bar, you called me, you came here, and you begged for me tonight." He said evenly with an expressionless look on his face.

A memory assaulted me. I had thought I'd seen something gleaming in the bar lights when he'd motioned for me to sing that night. _So, I had begged for a married man?_ I felt disgusted with myself.

"But—I didn't…" I paused. "Do you always cheat on your wife?" I asked accusingly. I felt dirty and used. It was only right that I make him feel disgusting too.

"No. We have been married for what you would consider a long time and I have not." He replied flatly.

"I thought demons mated for life. I thought you couldn't cheat or you'd be dishonored." I stated, pretty sure about the knowledge I'd learned growing up at the shrine. "You're a disgrace." I hissed at him.

He moved so quickly that I hadn't had time to think. He grabbed my arm and as red blended into his gold irises, roughly kissed me. I was appalled at my body for reacting how it did. I tried to shut my legs tighter and disregard the sensations that redeveloped there.

He pulled back and turned away from me. I gasped for air.

"She is not my mate. We are only married." He firmly replied back, walking towards what looked to be the bathroom. I realized I hadn't even been in the suite long enough to know.

"Well marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime too!" I screamed, threatening tears stung the back of my throat.

"Marriage is nothing more than a human triviality." Sesshoumaru scoffed, closing the door behind him.

"Then why are you even married!" I pointlessly yelled back at him. My only reply became the sound of beaded water crashing into his flawless skin. My tears began to spill.

I felt sick.

I ripped his dress shirt off of my body and began frantically searching for my clothes.

When I found my dress I hastily jumped into it, not bothering to fully zip up the back, as I bolted for the door. After getting off the elevator I darted through the lobby with smeared makeup and messy hair. I had almost reached my car when familiar green eyes popped into my vision.

"Ms. Kagome are you okay?" Shippou asked, the worry in his voice was very sweet, "It's two in the morning."

"I'll be fine Shippou, I just have to get out of here." I replied faking a smile before brushing past him and hurriedly rushing off to my car.

When I finally reached home, I had still not stopped crying. I was far madder than I felt like I had ever been. I pushed open my door and slammed it shut behind me. Eyeing the belongings in my apartment, I realized just how alone I really was for the first time. My life was empty, I was empty. I hadn't even been a good enough singer until I had him to sing for.

I picked up the vase from off my mantle and did not notice what I had done until I heard it shatter against the floor. My knees buckled under the weight of my sobs and I sat down. Shards of glass nipped on the skin of my legs, as I felt _nothing_. I thought of him and how he had made me feel, both so high and so low. I hated him… I needed him… I was a fool.

I got up unceremoniously to get in the shower. As the water drops ran down my face I could no longer separate them from the trails of my own tears. I halfheartedly scrubbed away the layer of _our_ sweat that coated my body. And I didn't even realize I'd left the water cold until I reached to turn it off. I drug myself into my bedroom to lie in my bed. It was 4 in the morning when I laid down and it was 7 when I finally retrieved the broom to clean up my mess.

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><p>Word Count: 960<p> 


	8. Chapter 8: An Apology

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 8: An Apology**

**_WARNING:_**_ Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with sexually explicit content._

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><p>Weeks went by and I heard nothing from him. Not that I wanted to hear anything but it still irked me that he didn't even <em>try<em> contacting me. It had felt like more than just a tryst to me… and I thought that I at least deserved a formal apology.

Things for me couldn't seem to get any worse. Besides feeling destroyed emotionally or feeling nothing at all like there was some large chasm in the middle of my chest, it seemed that my ability to touch others with my voice had all but disappeared. Every time I took to the stage and started to sing I'd feel his presence caressing me like it had that night and my body wouldn't allow itself to sing from the deep place that only he could bring out of me. I knew it wasn't long before Miroku would have me taking drink orders and cleaning tables again.

"Kagome, what is going on with you?" Miroku asked after I languidly walked off the stage one night. The audience hadn't even been paying attention to me so I hadn't bothered to wait for any applause.

"Nothing Miroku, I'm fine… really." I replied back, noticing how dreary my voice sounded even to my own ears.

"Look Kagome, whatever it is that you've lost, you need to find it because you sounded soulless out there. I'm worried about you." Miroku exclaimed with a very worried look that matched what he'd said.

_'Find what I've lost?—more like who I've lost.' _I thought bitterly. And there was no way I was going to try and find him.

"Okay Miroku, I will." I lied to him and forced myself to smile. I always had to force them these days.

He smiled back at me and walked away contented with my lie.

As soon as he'd gotten far enough I groaned out loud. _'I'm a mess' _I thought to myself. It seemed I'd be ruined without him. Sesshoumaru had somehow managed to embed himself into my life without even trying.

I hadn't lied to Miroku after all.

Later that afternoon, I tried to call Sesshoumaru.

I didn't know why I tried or why I had kept that stupid business card but when it went to voicemail I felt more foolish than ever. _'He didn't even pick up!'_ I screamed aloud to myself inside of my head. He had some nerve lying to me about being married—'_He never lied about it.'—_and then tricking me into sleeping with him—' _He didn't trick me into anything' _and then not picking up my phone call!—'_Please, pick up for me.'_

I screamed aloud for real as I cursed the voice inside of my head.

Another week went by and he hadn't called me back. I was back to cleaning tables at the bar _'until I got better' _as Miroku put it_._

I somehow sensed him before he'd arrived and turned to watch him as he entered.

He walked directly up to me.

"Come with me." He said evenly like he came into the bar to see me every day instead of like I hadn't seen or heard from him in over a month.

"Come with you where Sesshoumaru?" I replied and I cursed my voice for failing to sound angrier.

He grabbed my arm and led me out of the bar. I cursed my body for not resisting. Hopefully Miroku wouldn't be too upset.

He walked me to his car and opened the passenger door to his white lexus. I rolled my eyes but didn't hesitate to climb inside. I huffed out loud and crossed my arms when he got inside to drive. The car ride was quiet and before I knew it he was pulling up to valet parking outside of _another_ hotel. I glared daggers at him and inwardly applauded my eyes for managing to do something right.

"We are only here to—talk, Kagome." He assured me, overlooking my glare and gracefully stepping out of his car. I decided that I would hear him out.

When we walked into another penthouse suite in another hotel that I assumed he owned, I almost felt nostalgic. Pushing the feeling into the recesses of mind, I turned around to face him as he shut and locked the door.

"So what did you want to talk abo—" I started before he grasped my face and fiercely kissed me. I tried for a moment to pry myself out of his hands but my strength betrayed me and then so did my lips.

He pushed me, neither too gently nor too hard, against the wall and pressed his body into mine. I felt him run his fingers through my hair before grasping the back of my head to force our kiss to be deeper. I felt surrounded by him… and felt more real than I had in weeks. The chasm in my chest was filled with a burning kind of peace as I held on to him tight and moaned against his mouth.

After I gave in, he slowed down. His kiss remained deep but grew gentle. His tongue movements were measured as if trying to commit the intricacies of my mouth to memory. He rubbed his smooth hands down my neck and collarbone before expertly undoing the buttons of my shirt one by one. With an easy motion he pushed my garment off of my body to drift down to the floor. Knowing fingers unlatched the clasps of my bra, and he pulled away from my lips to begin placing hungry gentle kisses down my neck, down my chest, and then down my stomach inch by inch.

I looked down at the beautiful demon who took his time savoring the taste of my skin. My body reacted to his every touch, tingling and shivering, as he worked his way down my form. Each of his caresses was calm and deliberate; it was so different from the last time. It was not frantic or rushed but tender. His motions did not speak of yearning or lust but of affection.

He was kneeling in front of me as his hands fumbled with the buttons of my jeans before he pulled them as well as my panties down my legs. When I actively stepped out of them fully, he gazed up at me and I didn't feel soulless anymore.

His eyes communicated an apology that his mouth could not with words; the golden depths were laced with sincerity as he picked my small frame up gently. Angling my upper back to lean against the wall and placing each of my legs on top of each of his shoulders, he steadied me with his hands by holding up my backside. I felt the cold air as it teased the wet warmth that lay between my thighs and I saw him breathe in my scent deeply and longingly before he buried his face there. I tangled my hands into the fine silver mane of his hair and just _felt_ as he eagerly began taking all the hurt away.

After I ruptured and he carried my naked form into the bedroom to sleep against his strong clothed body, I could not bring myself to remember if it was before or after that I had forgiven him.

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><p>Word Count: 1217<p> 


	9. Chapter 9: For Now

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 9: For Now**

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><p>"Are you awake?" I whispered out to Sesshoumaru in the dark. I still lay held within his arms in the silken hotel sheets, my head resting lovingly on his chest. I didn't know how long I had been sleeping but it was still nighttime when I awoke feeling more content than I could remember ever feeling before.<p>

As I began to think, I could not keep the light that was my happiness from dimming. Despite what had happened and how right it felt to be with him, I still knew that there was much that was left unsaid. I knew that he was sorry for the way things had turned out before but I had no idea what that really meant. What did he expect of me? How were we going to proceed after this… if we proceeded at all? My heart lurched at that thought, I did not want to repeat the suffering I'd felt when I was without him.

"Hn.." He replied, his voice slightly groggy."I am awake now Kagome."

"…W-What took you so long?" It was the first question that came out of my mouth. I didn't know why since it was not one I had been quietly thinking to myself.

It was met with silence, and I strained to see that he was arching his brow questioningly in the dark. I attempted to explain myself further.

"I mean, you never contacted me and you never returned my call for over a month." I paused. "You just kind of showed up at the bar unexpectedly, insisting that I leave with you."

"Yes, it was rather unexpected." His voice held a hint of confusion and I found myself joining in on the feeling.

"Why didn't you let me know?" I asked, my brows tightly furrowing together.

"I did not know I was coming." He replied back evenly.

I shifted slightly to gaze up into his beautiful face, my eyes relaying the puzzlement that I felt.

He blinked slowly, perhaps to gather his thoughts before he continued.

"I was driving home from a meeting and I—ended up at the bar." He answered. "And then you were in front of me." He explained, his voice perfectly composed.

"But what does that mean exactly?" I inquired. He fixed his eyes on mine, drawing me in like a moth to a flame. Unconsciously I began twirling a few of his silver strands around my finger.

"I came to you and I come to no one." He affirmed, his expression relaying no feelings on the matter.

"Is that a good thing?" I breathed out, the words leaving my lips in a whisper.

"That I did not have complete control?" He stopped contemplatively and then I felt his strong hands momentarily grip me tighter before he continued. "I suppose it was."

A solemn quietness surrounded us and in the peace I found myself straining to match the rhythm of my breathing to his. I had almost succeeded when he broke the silence with his deep baritone.

"I do not wish you to flee from me again." He stated stiffly and I couldn't tell if he was beseeching me not to or if he was commanding it. It did not matter either way, I would not run again.

I wondered if that was all he wanted. Just for me to be there when he needed me, for me to not deny him? Could I dare to hope for more?

"Is that all?" I held my breath, my heart aching as I awaited his answer. I hoped that he would say no that it wasn't it, that he wanted more. I hoped that he'd say he was going to take steps to be with me; to make me his. He would divorce her because I could feel that _I_ was supposed to be the one to stay by his side forever.

He took some time before coming to a conclusion.

"Yes, that is all..." He started, his voice more hesitant than I'd ever heard it. My skin paled and my resolve plummeted. I was suffocating. It felt like forever before he finished his statement with a firm, "for now." And I let a small optimistic smile grace my lips.

I didn't ask any more questions after that, although I probably should have. I merely went back to sleep comforted that he wasn't going to disappear on me again. And I dreamed of what our future could become after 'for now.'

The next morning I woke up alone and confused. But before I could panic, I noticed an elegantly written note on the nightstand beside the bed. It was short and to the point. He had left early that morning for business and I was to retrieve a new set of clothes for me that he'd had someone place in the closet. He went on to say that he had not felt it necessary to wake me but that we would be in contact soon. All I had to do was inform someone in the lobby who I was and I would be driven anywhere that pleased me. He signed the note "Yours, Sesshoumaru Taisho" and I smiled at that.

I wondered when he would truly be mine.

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><p>Word Count: 872<p> 


	10. Chapter 10: Not Strictly Lovers

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 10: Not Strictly Lovers**

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><p>At first when I was away from him, my mind would think clearly. I would know that what we were doing was wrong. I would know that he was a married man and that I should feel ashamed and disgusted with my actions. But no matter how much I knew I should be resisting, I kept seeing him. At the least we'd meet once every two weeks, always in one of his many hotels. When he called I couldn't keep myself from answering.<p>

Time and time again I told myself that I was only going there to end the affair face to face, that I was going to find a way to move on with my life… and time and time again I failed. I felt so right with him, wrapped in his arms and covered in his essence. It was the only time I really felt at peace. And although we would always make love, I reveled that we were not strictly lovers. We became—much more than that.

We became a couple. At least that's what I told myself. Every since the night that he apologized, I'd always stay wrapped up in his arms until dawn. We'd spend most of the night awake, taking comfort in each other until sleep whisked us away. We would laugh, well I would laugh mostly, but he'd sometimes smirk and I learned to enjoy the amusement that would glisten in the depths of his amber eyes. We had deep conversations. Usually I'd talk and he would just listen while holding me protectively in a tight embrace. I told him things that I thought I'd never tell anyone, skeletons in closets that I thought I'd burned to the ground.

His calm and stoic demeanor made him perfect to confide in. He never once judged me when I told him about how I envied my little brother for getting into University or how I had first envied Kikyo for singing so beautifully. No, he made me feel safe and wanted. So for the first time I recollected the memories of sexual abuse I'd endured at the hands of a trusted family friend, Naraku, and how that had led to the slip in my grades in the first place. I told him about how singing had kept me alive then, and about how much it had hurt me to be told my singing wasn't good enough at the bar. And I smiled gently as I explained that it became good enough on the day that we locked eyes—on the day that I stopped singing for grief and started singing for him.

He opened up to me in his own way. Never volunteering new information but responding to my own declarations. When I told him that I'd envied my brother for obtaining something I couldn't, he commented that he had once done the same. When I told him about how much my family had struggled after the loss of my father, he added that he'd once known that struggle as well. I grew so close to him on the nights we lay wrapped up in silken hotel sheets but too my utter dismay, it never lasted. The mornings always came and he'd always have to go away.

It began to hurt me to be away from him and I began to live only sometimes. The life in my eyes dimmed and the dull ache in my heart throbbed painfully in the intermediate days between seeing him.

My life had been simple before him, simple and empty, and although I had been content in my life before, I could now not seem to understand why. Without him now I could not even feel my soul. He was mine sometimes and I told myself that it would have to be enough for now, though it wore me down and tore me to pieces. I figured it was better to have him sometimes and feel ripped apart in his absence than to be without him always and have no soul that could be torn.

I resigned myself to my own fate at the realization. And as a result I stopped telling myself that I was going to meet with him to try and end it. I couldn't end it. I would never end it.

We continued to keep the affair up for months.

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><p>Word Count: 725<p>

**Author's Note**: Since this chapter and the next are short I decided to put them both up. _Enjoy. =]_


	11. Chapter 11: But Lovers all the Same

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 11: But Lovers all the Same**

**Author's Note: **Hope you didn't miss the last chapter. _DOUBLE UPDATE 10/24/11_

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><p>I could not go long without his touch.<p>

And I assumed that he could not go long without mine either. If too long had passed and we had not been able to set up another meeting, I'd notice that he'd come into the bar while I worked. At first we'd merely tease our need for each other. I'd let my fingers linger just a little longer than necessary on his when I innocently passed him drinks. An uncharacteristic twitch or a heavy exhale would signal me of his need. He would watch me closely, pinning me with his gaze, as he opened thin burning lips to sip slowly from his glass and he never once missed an opportunity to accidentally brush against me as he made for an exit. Sometimes I'd sing directly to him while on the stage until the entire crowd would feel suffocated by the heat that would build up between us. I'd always leave work in need of a very cold shower.

Sometimes we'd nearly consume each other. One night it seemed we had teased each other too much. Sesshoumaru had stopped by the bar earlier but had long since departed. At the end of the night, Miroku had left the bar early and Sango had mysteriously disappeared. I wasn't blind. Sango had loved Miroku for years, though I'd seen her threaten him with broken bottles in the bar on more occasions than I could even remember. And Miroku had always loved Sango, though he was notorious for picking up stray inebriated women. I was happy for them—mostly, and the little smidgen of bitterness that I'd felt wasn't _really _for them. No. It was for everyone who _really_ had someone like I wanted… _him_.

While I was left to clean up the bar alone, I sighed wondering when Sesshoumaru and I would get the chance to meet next. I was getting extremely tired of cold showers and by the way he had abruptly left the bar I knew he had to be getting tired of them too. I was startled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door and called out that we were closed. When the knocking started anew, I figured it must have been Miroku or Sango coming back to help me so I went to unlock the front door. On the other side stood Sesshoumaru. His business suit was soaked from the rain and his eyes were molten and piercing. Desire poured off of him in waves and all I could do was smile. I let him in without a word and locked the door behind him. In our frenzy that night, we toppled over tables, broke glasses, and smashed alcohol bottles. I made sure to leave deep bloody fingernail trails down his back when his claws left irreparable gashes into the bar counter as he took me.

We attacked each other all over the bar until somehow we ended up on _Kaichou's_ stage. He placed me on my hands and knees and plunged in to me ruthlessly until I met release in the same spot that I stood when I first laid eyes on him. It was bittersweet. Afterwards, I gazed into his impossibly-golden colored eyes the same as I had back then and I found that I was _still _trying to make him stare at me forever. I laughed aloud, my voice rough and my bare body convulsing on the hard mocking wood of the stage, when he turned his regretful eyes away from me. He had to leave, _as always_, and I knew it. It seemed that I would have to carry on with my _trying_ and with my being incomplete. I finished cleaning up the bar alone that night, just like I had been meant to. But I somehow felt far lonelier than I had before I had heard that knock on the door.

I loved him but I needed more from him. I had probably fallen in love with him the moment I'd seen him, and although I knew I could not go long without having his touch… I was beginning to realize that I could not last much longer without having his everything.

I could tell that he _wanted_ to love me, _wanted _to complete me, with how frantically he tried to mend the pieces of my heart with heavy kisses and strong gentle touches that he knew would never work. I was merely waiting. Grasping eagerly on to the words that he had spoken in the dark that night, the words that gave me hope that this was only temporary. I began to loath the '_now'_ that kept me from my future with him and simultaneously I began to loathe the '_her'_ that played her part in it.

From then on I began obsessing over his wife.

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><p>Word Count: 803<p> 


	12. Chapter 12: Imagination

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 12: Imagination**

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><p>I think he hated it when I asked.<p>

He'd never really answer my questions about her or their life or how he'd come to marry this being that I believed stood between me and my happiness. The only thing he'd reiterate was that they were not mates.

Even so I wondered why he wouldn't talk about her

Perhaps he just didn't care or perhaps he was trying not to hurt me anymore than I already was. Or maybe it was just because he believed that she just wasn't any of my business. I really didn't know as his expressionless expression left so much to the imagination.

But I couldn't really drop it.

At first I'd started it as a way to cope. It was merely a game that I started playing in my head because his expressionless face really did help to fuel my imagination.

I created my own ideas of what his married life was like, my own imaginary world that revolved around them. He was stoic and aloof, hard and cold to her like I'd seen him be to so many others. And she was conniving and manipulative. I _pretended_ that they argued endlessly, far more than he and I ever could, and that he missed me whenever he was with her. I told myself that she made him sick and I told myself that I was better in every way. And at some point I started to believe it.

But then I saw her one day—and everything changed.

It was on accident. I had been feeling particularly lonely and had decided to pay my mother a visit. She decided that it was the perfect time to try and drag me along on a shopping trip knowing that neither of us had enough money to buy anything. We went into one of the stores that I knew neither of us could afford, and I laughed when she enthusiastically picked up several items and headed for the dressing room.

I waited right outside for her, not willing to look around the store and fall in love with something I couldn't have. The significance of that thought wasn't lost on me and I began thinking about how my "relationship" had started with Sesshoumaru.

I was startled out of my thoughts when someone came out of a dressing room and I turned around thinking it was my mother. The woman who exited was the type of woman who demanded attention and I couldn't help but watch her. Tendrils of her inklike black hair spilled out from the high elegant up-do that was pulled up at the crown of her head. Twirling slowly with grace, she showed off a sleek purple dress to a younger girl with white hair, who by the looks of it was her personal attendant. The black haired woman was taller than me, slender and shapely, and had feathers in her hair that made her look exotic. When she stopped twirling, I got a better look at her and noticed the bold red lipstick she wore and the bright red eye shadow that creased her lids. She looked up at me with questioning scarlet eyes and then asked for my opinion.

"Is it too much?" The demoness questioned and for a moment I was taken back by her tone. She sounded—intense. Extremely feminine but laced with a confidence that had me questioning why she would ask for anyone else's opinion of her at all.

"Not at all, you look very nice." I said with a smile and I meant it. She was in every sense of the word, beautiful and it would have been a lie to say anything different.

'Thank you—um what's your name?" she asked while motioning for her attendant to pass her one of the many other things she was set to try on.

"Kagome." I said as she eyed a yellow dress that rested on her assistants arm.

"Well, Kagome, I'm Kagura and this is Kanna." She said. "But more importantly you have got to try this on."

She held out the yellow dress for me and motioned for me to enter the dressing room she'd just come out of.

"Oh no, the clothes here are so expensive." I laughed. "If I accidentally tore it, I'd have to work weeks to pay it off."

"Nonsense, what are the chances of that happening?" She smiled as she asked it. "If it does I'll buy it myself for making you try it on in the first place."

She shook the beautiful dress in front of me teasingly and I took it into the dressing room to try on.

When I exited she exclaimed "See, I told you so. It's perfect on you."

I looked in the tall mirrors and had to admit that I'd never looked more exquisite. I smiled and thought about how I wished for Sesshoumaru to see me like this. He'd probably think nothing of it, since he insisted that I was always beautiful, but honestly I was tired of feeling out of place when surrounded by his luxuries. _'It would be nice to wear something like this.' _I thought before I took one long look at the price tag.

Sighing I headed back towards the dressing room to change when Kagura stopped me.

"Don't bother taking it off. I believe I see a tear in it so it looks like I'll have to buy it for you after all." She smiled at me again and started leading me towards the register, her hand rested reassuringly on my shoulder.

I resisted but she warned me that she would not take no for an answer.

At the register, she talked to the employee as if they were old friends. With all the clothes that she had Kanna carrying around for her I supposed that they probably were something like old friends. After everything was paid for, Kanna spoke up from behind us.

"Mrs. Taisho?" She called to Kagura. And I couldn't hear the rest of whatever came next over the blood that started to pump loudly in my ears. '_Taisho?'_

My breath caught in my chest and my heart beat sped up. She was his wife? For a moment I felt threatened by her presence and my emotions got the better of me as my miko powers simmered over my skin. Kagura screamed as the hand she'd rested on my shoulder was singed.

"I'm so sorry!" I yelled out loud as Kagura glared at the seared flesh of her palm.

"It's… alright." She said but the expression on her face had changed. Her aura had darkened and her red eyes pierced me frighteningly. "You're a miko?"

"I—I…" I tried to answer but as I looked at her now all I could see was Sesshoumaru's wife. I was conflicted. She had been so nice to me, so unlike what I had been imagining her to be, that I didn't know if I should be angry or relieved. As much as I wished at that moment that I could, I couldn't quite look at her as being my enemy any more. And even though the menacing look on her face did not exactly speak of the same feelings, I still felt ashamed. "I'm just, so very sorry." I managed to get out as I turned to hastily make my way towards the exit. And I was sorry to this woman. I'd stood there, smiling in her face, as she selflessly bought me clothes that her husband wouldn't have hesitated in taking off of me. It was sickening. I was sickening.

"Kagome!" I could hear my mother calling after me as I ran away but I was too busy trying to fight off the stinging feeling building up behind my eyes.

The whole time I had been thinking that I deserved him, that I was meant for him, that I was somehow better for him. I had never once thought about his wife—_about Kagura_—as anything more than an obstacle in my way. I had painted a mental picture of her in my imagination that helped me to believe that what I was doing was okay. But after looking directly in her face I realized that it wasn't.

I could not do this anymore.

And my eyes were too clouded over with my tears to notice that her cold eyes never once stopped glaring after me as I ran out of the store.

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><p>Word Count: 1412<p>


	13. Chapter 13: Never Look Back

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 13: Never Look Back**

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><p>"Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Taisho." I told the receptionist at <em>Tetsusaiga Industries<em>."Let him know it's Kagome Higurashi and that it's important."

I had never once been to Sesshoumaru's work but I figured it was a good place to actually talk to him. He was bound to be very business-like here and I needed to make sure I wouldn't get sucked back into our deceitful romance.

"Mr. Taisho will see you now." The receptionist called out to me. "He's located in the office down the hall and to the left."

"Thank you." I replied, giving her a wary smile.

It had taken me a few days to work up enough courage for what I was about to do. I knew that this would end horribly. I'd be broken hearted and distressed but I knew it was the right thing to do. I couldn't be Sesshoumaru's mistress anymore.

I knocked on the door and from inside someone yelled come in.

"How can I help you?" A handsome man with amber eyes and silver hair asked as I walked into the room. His features were so similar, I thought to myself before noticing the small puppy like ears that were alerted to take in my answer. This was not Sesshoumaru.

"Oh… I'm sorry." I stated. "The receptionist told me that this was Mr. Taisho's office. I didn't mean to barge in on you."

"I see." The man replied. "You must be looking for Sesshoumaru Taisho." I nodded my head.

"I'm Inuyasha Taisho, the vice president of _Tetsusaiga Industries_." He smirked at me as he walked over to shake my hand. "Sesshoumaru is my half-brother."

I shook his hand and gave his eyes a second glance before adding, "I'm Kagome Higurashi."

"Does Sesshoumaru know that you're coming?" Inuyasha asked me.

"Oh… um not really, I didn't make an appointment or anything." I answered feeling somewhat embarrassed.

He laughed.

"That's probably why the receptionist sent you to me without asking." He said. "No one ever just drops in to meet with Sesshoumaru." He paused. "I'll walk you over so he won't turn you away for not making an appointment, the receptionist said this was important right?"

"Yes it is." I answered. "And thank you."

Inuyasha led the way to Sesshoumaru's office. The receptionist should have sent me down the hall and to the right, I realized. When we stopped outside of large cherry wood doors, Inuyasha knocked on them.

"Yes?" I heard Sesshoumaru's baritone call out from inside. My palms started to sweat immediately.

"It's Inuyasha and I have a Ms. Kagome Higurashi here to see you." Inuyasha answered back.

Sesshoumaru told him to send me in and I entered. Inuyasha closed the door behind me.

"What are you doing here Kagome?" Sesshoumaru asked as I walked to sit down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of his desk. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes Sesshoumaru" I began, there was no turning back now. "There is something wrong."

He nodded at me to continue.

"I can't do this anymore." I replied back simply.

"You can't do what exactly, Kagome?" He asked, his voice was too calm.

"I can't do us anymore Sesshoumaru. This is wrong. You're married." I let all the words slip from my mouth without a thought.

He was quiet.

"Marriage does not matter to me. I—" He started but I decided to cut him off.

"I saw your wife the other day Sesshoumaru." I stated. "I saw her and we spoke…"

"Why would you do something like that?" He asked raising his voice, as he stood up.

"It was on accident!" I yelled. "I didn't even know it was your wife to begin with! We just ended up talking… she bought me a dress actually." My voice started to fade away. "…she was nice."

He didn't say anything for a few seconds and then he replied back, "Kagura is not… _nice_."

"Well she was nice enough to me." I answered back sharply before continuing with what I needed to say. "You know that I love you but this is becoming too much for me. It's killing me… you're killing me Sesshoumaru. Don't you get that?" I stopped to collect my thoughts, "I—I don't even know who I am anymore and maybe I never knew who I was before you but at least I knew that I wasn't just some guy's whore."

"You are not a wh—"He started but I couldn't let him finish. I couldn't let him place anymore false thoughts into my head, I had done enough of that on my own.

"Don't you dare say that to me." I said and I couldn't tell if the momentary slip in his controlled facade was from the seriousness in my tone or the worn out look that was surely plastered on my face. "Just because you don't mean to make me into one doesn't mean that I'm not one. What else would you call someone in my position?"

He looked at me as though he wished to say something, wished to argue, but then his anger dissipated and he resigned himself to silence. I thought that I might go deaf from how loud the meaning behind that silence was shouted at me. _We both knew exactly what I was._

"It doesn't matter…" I quickly said, my voice growing weak," I let myself become this… I should have been more careful before I fell in love with you." I paused to work up the nerve to finish what I'd rehearsed saying for the past few days.

"I need you to leave me alone for good. Don't call me, don't show up at my job, just disappear because I'm not strong enough to stay away from you on my own and it's not fair to me that I can't help wanting you. Do you understand that Sesshoumaru?" I asked as tears slipped their way down my cheeks. "If you really want to be with me you're going to have to take the steps. Get a divorce. It's simple. I'm not going to sneak around behind your wife's back anymore."

"Do you want to know why I am with my wife?" Sesshoumaru asked in a firm tone glaring at me.

I nodded. I had wanted to know that from the beginning.

"I was forced to in order to receive my birth right." Sesshoumaru stated."These lands, this company that owns nearly everything in the city, would have been given to my half-brother on my father's orders. The same brother who always obtained everything that should have been mine." He continued.

"I was supposed to find a mate. But I negotiated to marrying Kagura and allowing my half-brother to be vice president."He explained. "You cannot take back mating but marriage meant nothing to me. It was merely a loop hole."

"Why Kagura?" I couldn't help asking.

"She was powerful. It was an obvious choice." Sesshoumaru answered noncommittally. "I would not lower myself to be bound to someone weak."

"Okay… but why can't you get divorced?" I asked. "You have the company already. It's yours and you told me your father died."

He didn't answer me.

I waited for a while before I got up, intending to leave.

"I have—" He started before turning away from me. "I have a daughter."

"What?" I asked lividly. "I thought you just said you only married Kagura as a loophole! You have a daughter with her?"

"No." Sesshoumaru curtly replied. "She is an adopted human girl, merely 8 years old. Kagura is not the mother."

"Okay… well what's that have to do with you not getting a divorce Sesshoumaru?" I asked, lowering my eyes. I could not stand to look at him.

"I may have married Kagura as a loophole—" Sesshoumaru thought over his words carefully. "But she has grown attached to me… she does not care about Rin, but she would take her in a divorce to spite me."

"You don't know that Sesshoumaru." I replied back.

"I'm a business man. I have to leave the country all the time. I'm hardly ever home." Sesshoumaru replied. "Kagura would get half of everything I own and she would be fully capable of being a full time parent. I know how the justice system works Kagome."

He was right. Although I wished he wasn't. Kagura would probably get custody of their daughter. I felt sorry for him.

"So why did you lead me on knowing all of that?" I asked gently. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

He remained facing away from me as he spoke.

"I love you." He said as gently as his naturally cold tone allowed. "I wish to mate you but it would have to wait until Rin is grown. That is ten years and I assumed that if you had known that from the beginning you would not want to wait."

I thought hard for a moment. He had never once said he loved me or that he'd wanted to mate me. It was all too shocking and it was… everything that I had ever wanted to hear. I loved him so much… but he was right. It had been only a little over 10 months since the affair had started and I was suffering. I couldn't take only having a part of him and even if Kagura was spiteful, it still didn't make going behind her back any less wrong. And what about his daughter?

"You assumed right Sesshoumaru…" I said quietly as my heart began breaking. "I cannot wait for ten years. I can't just keep meeting you in hotels and pretending to be with you during the nights. I can't watch you turn your back to me to go home to your wife, to your family. It's not fair to me and it's definitely not fair to your little girl… I don't even think I could survive the ten years it would take to finally have you. I'm sorry Sesshoumaru but I'm done."

As I began slowly walking towards the door and away from my dreams, he grabbed me by my wrist. I didn't even know how he'd gotten so close to me so fast.

"Are you sure this is what you truly want?" He asked me as his golden eyes bore into mine the way that I loved.

"Yes, I'm sure Sesshoumaru." I managed to answer, sounding far more certain than I actually felt.

He placed a beautiful bracelet on my wrist. It was silver and gold and had a crescent moon pendant.

"It belonged to my mother." He told me as he let one clawed finger run over the crescent.

"You will always be my mate." He stated firmly, in the Sesshoumaru way that said there was nothing anyone could do to change that. I nodded slightly.

He then abruptly turned away from me and began walking back towards his desk. "I will not call you or come to your job anymore. I will not try to change your mind." He stated coldly. "You have my word Kagome."

"Thank you." I whispered lowly as I slipped out of the door.

I could not bear to look back.

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><p>Word Count: 1863<p>

_Author's Note: You guys have no idea how happy I am to have finally gotten this chapter done! I was kind of blanking on where I wanted to go with this story but now I think I have it figured out to the very end. YES!_

_-E.C._


	14. Chapter 14: Help

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 14: Help**

* * *

><p>I refused to do anything for quite some time. I merely laid down in my bed or on my couch eyeing the bracelet that I couldn't stand to take off. I wanted to. A part of me wished to throw it away and never see it again. It was only causing me anguish, staring at it and remembering the soft baritone of his voice as he told me that he loved me and that he wanted me. '<em>He loved me'<em>. I couldn't get it out of my head. He wanted to mate me… wants to mate me, I reminded myself as I gazed down at the bracelet again. My heart ached and I felt hollow knowing that he was out there feeling for me and I for him but that we could do nothing about it, nothing that I was willing to do anymore. I almost hated him for telling me, when he knew that I couldn't continue loving him from behind closed doors. Loving him from within the dark cold shadows of his real life, shadows in which he'd leave me alone to return to his wife, his family.

I would not continue our affair. I was strong in that resolve. I knew that with his family was where he belonged. He had made his commitment even if his marriage had only been a means to an end and even if he only stayed with his wife for the fear of losing his daughter. I knew exactly where he belonged and that it wasn't with me, but that didn't mean that it hurt any less.

And it _hurt_. It hurt so much that I thought I might die at first. I knew that the thought was erroneous. I knew that I wouldn't physically die but I couldn't breath and I had cried so much that I had nothing left. If the pain wouldn't go away soon I knew that I'd die on the inside. It wasn't until I'd gotten a knock on my apartment door that I had made any attempt to do anything besides the necessities to sustain my life. My days had been wake up, eat, sleep (repeat). My apartment was a mess of pizza delivery boxes and leftover Chinese takeout amongst other things. I felt no need to clean my apartment when I myself was such a mess. I thought that the chaos and disarray that I saw around me complimented nicely with how I felt on the inside. All I had wanted was to wallow in my on shame, in my own foolishness, in my own self-pity but someone would not quit knocking on my door!

"I'm coming." I groaned as I lifted myself off of my couch. I felt weighed down with grief.

The knocking grew louder.

"I said I'm coming!" I yelled out as I hurried to the door as fast as my despairing body could go. I fumbled with the locks, my fingers were as lethargic as the rest of me.

"You look like shit." Sango replied, looking me up and down. She brushed passed me and entered my apartment without an invitation.

"Sure you can come in." I whispered out as I shut the door to follow her into my living room.

She pushed a bunch of trash off my coffee table and on to the floor before sitting down on my couch and plopping her legs up on the table.

"Miroku hasn't fired you yet." She told me as if I'd asked, as if I'd cared.

"That's nice." I responded dropping lightly down on the other end of the couch.

"I asked him not to." Sango explained. "I told him that you were going through some family stuff and that's why you haven't been showing up to work for the past few weeks or picking up the phone or even trying to call the person who supposed to be your best friend."

"Sango… I didn't even know we were best friends…" I answered honestly.

"Do you have any other friends?" She asked me.

"No… not really." I admitted. All the friends I had had in the past I'd lost touch with when they'd went off to University.

"Well if I'm your only one, then that would make me your best by default right?" She smiled triumphantly.

I even smiled a little bit.

"Okay so now that we've got that settled," She continued as she got up and started picking up some of the trash that littered the floor, "we're going to get this place cleaned up and then we'll get started on getting you cleaned up too."

She gave me a knowing look and I felt like she somehow knew everything that had happened, everything that I was going through. The thought crossed my mind that maybe she had seen the ring on his hand that first night in the bar when I hadn't, she had been serving him I remembered. Maybe she had been aware of our secret teasing when he'd visit me at Kaichou, and maybe she knew that I had become his mistress just to have everything blow up in my face. She looked at me with those wide brown knowing eyes and she was concerned for me. Nothing in her gaze even hinted that she was judging me for my actions. She actually cared about what 'the other woman' was going through even though I was even ashamed of myself. She cared and maybe knowing that made me hurt just a little less.

We cleaned up my apartment and then slowly but surely with her help, I began cleaning up the disorder of my life as well.

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><p>Word Count: 941<p> 


	15. Chapter 15: Shadows of the Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. they are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 15: Shadows of the Past**

* * *

><p>Time went by and things got a little better. I still thought about Sesshoumaru often but it didn't hurt so much to remember anymore.<p>

My days were long. On weekdays I forced myself to get up and go to work and on weekends I tried my hardest to keep myself occupied.

At_ Kaichou_ things seemed so different to me. The air seemed stale and the people boring. It did not help me to forget about him. It was quite the contrary actually.

_Kaichou_ was sometimes the last place I wanted to be. At first when I had returned to work all the memories that I had made there with Sesshoumaru stifled me. I walked around in a daze replaying the first time that I laid eyes on him or the first night that we ever spoke to one another. Memories crept their way into my mind, trying to make me relive the many nights we teased each other in the bar or the night that we made love after dark on the stage. A tray of glasses shattered to the floor, dropped from temporarily weakened fingers, as my eyes took in the deep gashes of his claw marks that were still embedded within the bar counter.

We had so many memories there. I had met him there, he had been my muse to sing and without my job at _Kaichou_ I never would have known what it felt like to be complete. As short as my chance at happiness had been, I had still had a chance. But I could not see that silver-lining. I did not see our happy beginnings but could not blink away the sight of our bitter end. When I snuck quick drinks from the bar to ease my mind I did not see the glasses as half full but always as half empty.

_Kaichou_ was suffocating me. I hated it there. And it had not been for Miroku and Sango, I may have tried to burn the place to the ground.

Luckily for me, or perhaps for Miroku's bar, they were there and they were enough to at least distract me and pull me out of the fog of my memories. Sango promised me that it would get easier. She said that if I truly wanted to heal _Kaichou _was where I needed to be. It would take true strength to overcome my heartache in a place that made what happened seem so raw and so real.

And that's exactly what _Kaichou _did. I could not pretend that I had never met Sesshoumaru walking around in places where the ghost of his presence still lingered. I could not pretend that nothing had happened between him and I or that I was going to see him again when every time the door opened it was not him.

So I spent my weekdays trying to make it through with so many reminders of him and I spent my weekends trying my hardest to keep Sesshoumaru off my mind.

And so with time it got better. It still hurt… but I came to realize that I could live without him.

..O..

"No Miroku." I exclaimed for the hundredth time, "I'm not going to sing tomorrow."

"But you seem to be doing better Kagome." Miroku pleaded. "I've been getting requests for you and everything!"

"I don't care about requests…" I replied back forcefully." I've already told you that I'm never going to sing again, so just stop asking me."

"Just what did this guy do to you?" Miroku asked exasperated.

I flinched at the comment. No one had really referred to Sesshoumaru directly or indirectly in my presence yet.

"Kags, I'm sorry I didn't mean to—"

"Don't worry about it Miroku." I replied back quietly. "Just let everyone know that I won't be singing anymore okay and please let Sango know that you don't need to know my business either."

"Sango only told me so I would know what not to say around you. She didn't mean any harm." Miroku replied. "I'm the dumb one."

I sighed. "It's okay Miroku. And I know Sango only looks out for my best interest." I stated." It's fine really but I'm going to take off if you don't mind. You guys don't need my help cleaning up tonight right?"

"No we'll be fine." Miroku stated. "Go ahead and take off."

I nodded and smiled at Miroku before turning and walking to the back to get my coat and scarf. After I put them on, I headed out the door to begin my trek home. My car had been having trouble and I honestly hadn't had the extra money to fix it so I'd begun walking to and from work. I only lived a few blocks away and before I knew it I had actually found that I liked the walk. It was relaxing and it somehow helped me to keep my mind off of my troubles.

It was dark and cold this night, the only light bearing down on the world was from the sliver of the moon that peaked through hazy clouds. I gazed up at the sky and smiled before frowning slightly as I thought of the being whose brow was adorned with a similar marking. With my chin raised the wind nipped at my cheeks so snuggled down further into my coat and adjusted the scarf that I'd tied around my neck as I continued walking.

Everything was so quiet. As I walked I listened to the tap of my heels against the pavement and found myself being calmed by the simple rhythm. Every once in a while a car would drive by or a cat would saunter out of an alley and I'd be startled back to reality. I questioned myself and strained my eyes as a black SUV passed me for what I was sure had been the fourth time.

_"Kagome…"_

I could have sworn I heard my name faintly and I jerked my body around trying to take in everything that had become shadowed in the night. As I glanced around my surroundings there was no one that I could see. I was met swiftly with a feeling of intense foreboding and began to hasten my steps. I could feel someone watching me and it wasn't long before I could hear the rhythm of steps against the pavement that were not my own. The steps behind me seemed to increase in speed and before I knew it I had took off into a run.

I inwardly cursed myself for listening to Miroku. He had informed me that I'd make far better tips if only I'd wear heels to work and since my car was in need of repair I had finally relented on this particular day and listened. Fortunately enough for my wallet, Miroku had been right but as my heel caught in a crack in the sidewalk and my body twisted, heavily tumbling forward, I could not bring myself to really care about the extra money that I might never get a chance to spend.

I hit the unforgiving concrete harshly but I was not even given the chance to yell out against that pain before I was met with more. Strong clawed hands gripped my shoulders and I felt the burn of the cold pavement chafing my legs as someone began dragging me forcefully into the further darkened shadows of an alley. I tried to fight back, screaming and punching. I even tried to force my miko powers into my skin just in case my assailant was a demon. As I heard the being above me hiss I wished that I had learned to control my powers more effectively, that I could easily purify my attacker fully. There had only been two beings in my life that had ever felt the burn of my powers; one had been Sesshoumaru's wife, testament to my lack of control for it had been a mere accident, and the other had been…

"_ I always liked it when you singed me girl…" A dark menacing voice broke through the effort of my struggles and my movements instantly stilled._

At the sound of that voice, my thoughts came to a halt and dread crawled its way up my spine. As my mind clouded over with recognition, I could not find it within myself to fight back. My body instantly recalled what it had done to survive in the past and fighting back had _never _worked before.

As I was shoved back into the brick wall, my eyes strained in the moonlight to take in the long onyx locks, the disturbingly deceptive handsome face, and the piercing red eyes that I had hoped to never see again since my youth. I had only spoken of my past once in the 5 years since _he_ had been put away for the unspeakable things that he had done to me… _and to the others_, and that had only been when I'd been safe and protectively wrapped up in Sesshoumaru's embrace. Right then and there, despite everything, I wished that Sesshoumaru was with me now as he had been when he'd consoled me the night I'd allowed him to bear witness to my nightmares. I wished that I had not asked him to give me his word to stay away from me. _Who was going to protect me now?_

"_How wonderful it is meeting you here Kagome."_ The figure said as he smiled that smile that wasn't really a smile at all.

My skin paled.

"H-how—" I stuttered as I inwardly prayed that this was not really happening. "how did you find me… _Naraku_?"

As his cold name left my lips, my trembling fingers grasped at the bracelet that still adorned my wrist.

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><p>Word Count: 1634<p>

**_Author's Note:_**

_It's been a week since I updated this story but I put up the announcement on my profile about having a lot of work to do last week so I hope that's fine. I only managed to update my drabble story since it took up less of my time in order to do so. However, this chapter is longer than most of my others so I hope you enjoy._

_About this story:_

_I felt the need to bring back Kagome's turbulent past. I only hinted at it in one previous chapter (Not Strictly Lovers) and also different POVs will begin to make small appearances in this story._

_Don't forget to review_


	16. Chapter 16: Savior

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 16: Savior**

**WARNING: **This chapter deals with some darker themes. Read with caution.

* * *

><p>"How did I find you?" Naruka asked menacingly, "That's all you have to say to me after so long Kagome? You know I've missed you, you're all I've been able to think about."<p>

I struggled against the hold he had pinning me to the wall so he held me down with more force. I shrieked as I felt my shoulder pop. He was too strong for me, the same as he had always been, and I hoped that someone would come to save me.

"You're supposed to be…" I spoke aloud, trying to buy more time, "You're supposed to be sealed away for the things that you did."

Naraku cackled. "Well yes, I suppose you are right about that my little miko." He said as a jagged claw ran down my cheek. It was a sinful mockery of a lover's caress and as his nail dug into my skin, I exhaled a sharp breath at the pain. He leaned forward, his rough tongue licking away the blood from the wound that was sure to only be my first.

He let out a contented sigh, nuzzling into my neck and I heard him whisper darkly into my ear, "I guess they released me on good behavior." He grinned.

I couldn't believe this was really happening. "But they found bodies!" I screamed. "Your should've been sealed forever! You probably would have killed me too if my father—

"No Kagome!" He yelled as his hand clamped down around my neck. His grip grew tighter with his words and I struggled to breathe, fighting to remain conscious. "I never would have done anything to you. Those other girls meant nothing to me. You were my favorite, what I had been searching for, my sweet little miko. I love you. Remember all the fun we had?"

He eased his grip and I gasped for air. Warm tears began rolling down my cheeks as ragged coughs were forced out of my throat.

"You molested me!" I cried. "You took away everything from me until I had nothing left. You said you'd hurt them if I told and when I finally did… when I got the courage to tell someone you…you killed—"

"What happened to your father was your fault." He interrupted. "He had been something like a friend to me you know?" He replied nonchalantly.

"I hate you." I hissed out. And he began undoing the clasps on my coat with his free hand. His touch made my skin crawl.

"And I love it when you fight me." He hissed back as he fisted my hair in his grasp, jerking my head to the side as he pushed his body against mine. I could feel the disgusting bulge in his pants as he ground himself into me and I wanted to vomit. "I love it when your skin burns mine. When your body reacts from what I do to you. Your pain has always been my pleasure, Kagome." He purred as his tongue traced the ridge of my ear.

He exhaled a long warm breath against my skin. "You have no idea what it's like to be sealed, to be aware of everything around you, to feel and think and _want_ but not be able to do anything about it... I've been waiting far too long for this." Naraku spoke in my ear, his voice dark with obsession and lust. "I'm going to enjoy this and I'll make you enjoy it too. I'm going to make you flare those little powers of yours girl."

His hand began lowering down my body to the fastens of my jeans and I screamed. He smacked me fiercely across my face and I closed my eyes.

It seemed that I had run out of time. And as I clenched my eyes tightly, awaiting my agony, I thought about the only thing that had really made me happy and the only thing that had constantly tried to make me see my worth since the last time I'd endured this torture.

He had said I was beautiful, that I was worthy of his luxuries, that he had wanted me. As I clenched my eyes tightly, I thought about Sesshoumaru.

..O..

Golden eyes looked for the girl. He couldn't get her out of his mind. He had been watching her from afar for a few nights now, following her as she walked from her work to her home. He was sure that she would not have appreciated it if she found out… so he did it from his vehicle. He'd been driving around in circles, catching glimpses of her on her way but as he'd rounded the corner for the fifth time she'd all but disappeared. She should have only been a couple of paces ahead at this point but she had vanished. She wouldn't have possibly run home, she'd been wearing heels. He'd gotten out of his vehicle and began walking down the sidewalk that she should have still been on. It was then that he saw a red heeled shoe left unattended on the pavement. And it was after that, that he'd heard a scream. He ran.

..O..

I'd closed my mind off from what was happening around me. My eyes were still shut tightly and as I concentrated I'd blocked off all the sounds in the world. I only hoped that I could block off what I'd be feeling as well. I would not give Naraku the satisfaction of hearing my screams or my whimpers. I would not cry and if I could help it, I would not burn him with my powers and give him the sick pleasure that he desired.

It felt like a few minutes had gone by. And I really hadn't felt anything. No warm breath against my skin, no slick sweat dripping on me, no bruising fingers or sharp claws, no forced entry, no—nothing. I'd managed to do it, to block it all out. I was relieved. I'd almost begun to even relax due to what I'd perceived as a tiny victory until I felt a strong hand grasp my arm, breaking my concentration. I felt my powers surge and as it connected with its target, my hearing came back. I heard a yell but it was not in the disturbingly pleased tone that I had thought it would be in. It was not even in the _same_ voice.

My eyes snapped open and in the moonlight I took in the glistening silver—_not black_—hair and the golden—_not red_—eyes on the figure in front of me.

"You okay?" Said figure asked me, a worried look plastered on his face, as he ignored the pain my miko powers had caused him.

"Y-yeah, I think so..." I answered, my voice still shaky with left over fear. "Is he—is Naraku gone?" I asked as my frightened eyes frantically surveyed the rest of the alley.

"Yeah… well, he ran off anyways." He replied.

I exhaled a breath of relief and then eyed the figure who'd been my savior.

"Mr. Taisho… _Inuyasha_, how did you—thank you for being here."

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><p>Word Count: 1186<p>

_Don't forget to review_


	17. Chapter 17: False Expectations

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 17: False Expectations**

**Important announcement in Author's Note at the end.**

* * *

><p>Don't get me wrong. I was elated to have been rescued and freed from Naraku's clutches. Relief filled my entire frame and I was more than happy to have been spared the fate that I had been mere seconds from.<p>

But as I glanced over my shoulder at he who had been my savior, I felt just a small pang of disappointment in my chest. He was not who I had expected. For the first few moments that I had opened my eyes, I had been sure that my rescuer had been who I longed for, that my love had come, that it was Sessohumaru who had run in to the darkness to save me.

_But who was I kidding really?_ He had given me his word. For my own sake he'd agreed to stay away from me. Before this night I'd begun to think of it as a testament of his love for me that he had remained at a distance. Had it have been in any other incident rather than the one I'd just been in, I would have held it against him strongly for breaking that promise to me. For him to have broken that trust So as unfortunate as tonight could have been, I was almost content in knowing he hadn't been the one there for me… _almost_.

I had gotten lucky this time or so it seemed. Perhaps fate hadn't turned its back on me after all. Fate who had led a sinister demon such as Naraku to make me into his obsession, fate who'd fathomed it purposeful for me to fall in love with a married man, and fate who had ripped that man from my grasp. And now it seemed that fate had thought it best to send me Inuyasha… Sesshoumaru's despised half-brother, but I was saved… and that just had to count for something, didn't it?

Inuyasha had insisted on giving me a lift to my apartment under the ruse that it was the gentlemanly thing to do. But I knew that he was trying not to worry me and that his true aim was to stick around in order to continue protecting me. And I feared that he would need to so I'd accepted his offer gingerly. I could almost feel that Naraku was still out there somewhere… watching. I'd surely need to begin making plans so that I'd never have to walk alone again.

"You scared me for a second there Ms. Higurashi." Inuyasha admitted, breaking through the silence that had been our other companion as we walked slowly towards his car.

"You fought off my attacker and I'm what managed to scare you?" I asked incredulously, with one eyebrow raised.

"Well yes, Kagome—can I call you that?" He gave me a tentative glance and I nodded, so he continued. "When I pulled him off of you, you were so still... almost lifeless really. For a moment I'd questioned if you were even still alive." Inuyasha said quietly. "The commotion of our fighting didn't stir you… and after he'd run off I had to have called your name at least three times before I worked up the nerve to grab you." His golden eyes glanced over at me worriedly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I couldn't help but ask myself at that moment why he wasn't Sesshoumaru.

"I'm okay Mr. Taisho, I—"

"Inuyasha is fine." He cut in.

"Ok, well I'm alright… Inuyasha." I answered. "I guess I had just shut the world out, I apologize for worrying you."

He nodded at me and stopped walking.

"Well this is my car." He said gesturing towards a vaguely familiar looking SUV. I cocked my head to the side and furrowed my brows as I remembered why it looked so familiar. I had not expected it to be_that_ car at all.

"…This is your car?" I asked, my eyes shifting back to him. I was fairly sure it was the one I'd seen earlier… following me. I'd assumed it had belonged to Naraku. " Have you been—were you following me?"

Inuyasha's face took on a panicked expression.

"No… well, yes—when I saw your shoe I—"

"This vehicle" I interrupted pointing to it, " had been following me all night Mr. Taisho, long before my assailant dragged me off." I stepped back from him. "Did you tell him where to find me? Is this some kind of trick?" I asked frightened.

He reached out to grab me and I tried to ready myself to retaliate. Naraku may have liked the sting of my powers but I was quite sure that Inuyasha would not.

"No! No!" He assured. "It's nothing like that… I—I was following you. I have been…every night… this week. But it has nothing to do with that vermin, I promise you."

I calmed slightly.

"Then why have you been following me Mr. Taisho?" I asked him suspiciously. I watched him rub the back of his neck. I guessed it to be a nervous tick of his.

At that time I was sure my glare rivaled even his brother's_. 'Wait…his brother?'_ And that's when the idea crossed my mind. It had to be Sesshoumaru, he must have had Inuyasha follow me.

For a moment I'd inwardly smiled at the thought that Sesshoumaru had indirectly saved me until I remembered he couldn't have possibly known about Naraku which would have meant he'd been having Inuyasha follow me for… what? to keep tabs on me?

Had that been all he'd done in these pass months? Had he been watching me struggle at the loss of him? Had he broken his promise to me after all? I began to get angry.

"Tell Sesshoumaru that I don't appreciate being watched!" I hissed at Inuyasha, who's face transformed from one of nervousness to confusion.

"Sesshoumaru?" He asked. "What are you talking about Kagome? Why would Sesshoumaru have me follow you?"

I stared back at him puzzled. "…Sesshoumaru didn't—?"

"No." He answered immediately before adding. "I mean he had been acting… _different _since that day you came in to the office which I guess was partly why I couldn't get you off my mind but I ventured out to find you on my own. Why would he—"

"No reason." I cut him off firmly. So _Sesshoumaru hadn't sent him?_ I felt that small pang of disappointment reassert itself… and then I processed what else he'd said. "…You couldn't get me off your mind?" I asked even more confused.

Inuyasha sighed.

"Ms. Higurashi can we please just get into the car?" He asked exasperated. "It's very cold out here and maybe even dangerous. I promise that I was not sent here to hurt you by whoever your assailant was… or anyone else for that matter."

I searched his face cautiously, looking for any hint of malice, any sign of untrustworthiness. When I was pleased and didn't seem to see anything other than someone who resembled the only being that still managed to own my heart, I got in to the car.

..O..

Stepping out of the shadows and into the streetlights of the nighttime city, an unsatisfied and increasingly annoyed red-eyed, black-haired demon made a call on a pay phone.

It rang once before a voice on the other end picked up.

"Is it done?" said voice whispered in to the receiver.

"There were complications… I hadn't planned on any interruptions." Naraku hissed, his voice dark and irritated.

"You good for nothing —" The voice stopped and exhaled a frustrated breath. "Look, I didn't have you released to play games Naraku. You get this done or—"

"Don't think for one second that you're in charge of me." Naraku growled into the receiver. "You may think you know me but you don't know who you're messing with, I—"

"It's _you _who doesn't know who _you're_ messing with." The voice hissed back through the phone angrily. "I'll have you sealed away again so fast you won't even have time fuck your own hand much less that worthless miko. I don't care what you do to her beforehand but I want her _dead_, you got that? Just get the job done!"

Naraku paused before readying himself to retaliate; only to be quickly stopped by the sound of the dial tone. He hung up the phone harshly but then after a moment he smirked to himself. Somehow he had a feeling this was going to be even more fun than he'd originally expected.

_'I'll have you next time my sweet little miko.' _He thought confidently within the confines of his own disturbed mind. And then as quickly as he'd appeared he vanished somewhere back into the shadows of the night. It was so nice to be free again.

* * *

><p>Word Count: 1462<p>

_Author's Note: I promise this is still completely a Sess/Kag story so don't be disappointed at the turn of events or anything, it's all just part of the plot. Also, I have decided that the title of this story will be changed. Expect this to happen by the next chapter. I've already got some ideas but I'm still taking suggestions. If you have any, feel free to either leave them in a review or send me a message. I really appreciate you guys reviewing and keeping me driven btw. Thanks for reading!_

_Don't forget to review_


	18. Chapter 18: Role Playing

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 18: Role Playing**

* * *

><p>Our car ride back to my apartment had been quiet that night.<p>

When Inuyasha and I had arrived. I'd invited him in for a moment to continue our previous conversation. When he'd entered, it had felt odd seeing him standing there amongst my belongings and watching his similar golden eyes glance over my meager possessions. Sesshoumaru had never even had the privilege of setting foot in my home, but as I took in how dulled down Inuyasha's silver locks looked in the low lighting of my residence I realized that perhaps it had been for the best. I shook the feeling off and got to the point.

"Why were you following me?" I asked simply. There was no suspicion in my tone and at this point I was merely just curious. He'd said he couldn't get me out of his mind and that was more than a little intriguing, seeing as I'd only come across him one other time.

His eyes darted from the still empty space left on my mantle to stare into my own eyes. His gaze faltered for a moment before he spoke.

"Honestly, you'd become somewhat of an enigma to me." Inuyasha said as he took a seat on my sofa. "Since the day that you came into the office, Sesshoumaru has become... more distant, if that's even possible. He's been leaving early or giving me work that he'd never trusted me with before. I'm sure it's not that he somehow trusts me now but that he just doesn't care. I've never known anything to have affected him—ever." He paused for a moment and then continued, "I began to wonder what had been so important that day and of course that led me to you. Why I just continued to only follow you I'm unsure but as we can see it turned out for the best anyway."

I eyed him. He was partially lying and I could tell. There was something he was leaving out but if he really wanted to keep it a secret, I'd let him for now. He had saved me after all and I would consider not asking, showing him gratitude. I was sure I'd figure it out eventually. Inuyasha did not seem too good at hiding things and I'd learned to read people well as a result of trying so hard to read Sesshoumaru.

I focused more on what he'd said rather than what he had omitted. Sesshoumaru was affected. It seemed I wasn't the only one struggling. I felt both uneasy about that and happy at the same time. He truly did care. If keeping his word and staying away from me affected his behavior enough that even others could see it, something that I never would have fathomed from my stoic lover, he must still be in love me. I inwardly smiled.

"I guess it did turn out for the best." I decided to say to dismiss the conversation. It grew quiet between us for a few moments and then he asked me a question that I was hoping he would have just left alone.

"What was so important that you had to tell him that day Kagome?" Inuyasha inquired.

" Someone we both knew died." I lied to Inuyasha. It had flowed from my lips so easily that I would have even sworn it was the complete and honest truth. And I suppose that in some ways it was, for I guess I'd killed a little bit of both Sesshoumaru and I with the requests I'd made that day.

Inuyasha didn't ask any more questions on the subject although it was obvious that he wanted to. We talked about other things like my car problems and how I'd ended up walking from work in the first place. After a while I needed to go to sleep. He offered to stay on the couch, saying it might be dangerous for me alone on the same night of my attack, and to take me to work the next morning so I wouldn't have to walk alone. Even though I tried to assure him that nothing would probably happen, he eventually wore me down and I let him sleep on the couch.

The next morning Inuyasha walked into the bar with me. I introduced him to Miroku and Sango and tried to introduce him to Kikyo but she wasn't there. Sango gave me a questioning look and I scoffed slightly and shrugged it off. How could she possibly think there would ever be anything between me and Inuyasha? I could never feel for someone else after I'd been with Sesshoumaru.

We told Sango and Miroku about what had happened the night before and how Inuyasha had saved me. They both immediately began condemning me for walking alone at night and reminding me of how they'd been against it. Sango insisted that I would stay with her for a while. She even began trying to convince me to move in with her although she had a roommate. She said she was sure that we could get her to move out. I laughed.

"Let me make you a drink on the house Inuyasha." Sango said as she stepped behind the bar counter. "It's the least I could do since you saved my bestfriend's life, you know?" She smiled.

Inuyasha smiled, moved to sit at the bar and for a moment, I stopped breathing.

He wasn't Sesshoumaru, I knew that completely but that didn't mean that the situation wasn't any less eerie. It wasn't late night but it was early morning and he sat down on the same stool Sesshoumaru had the night that my world wind romance had begun, the night I'd been pulled in by the dark smooth tenor of Sesshoumaru's voice. I became aware that I'd been hurting a little less since I'd been around Inuyasha. It seemed he was just enough like Sesshoumaru to make me feel at ease, to make me feel closer to my lost love. I bit my lip.

"So what drink would you like?" Sango called out to Inuyasha as she reached for a glass.

"He'll have a Black Velvet." I cut in as I anxiously wished to reenact the scene as perfectly as possible.

"Really?" Sango asked confused. "This is more of a celebration, that drink is—"

"The drink is fine." I cut in abruptly.

She gave me another look but then made it. After she poured the drink and the scene was complete, I felt just a little more at peace.

After that day Inuyasha kept occasionally showing up and trying to become a part of my life. I let him, even if only for the small moments of relief that he could give me. Perhaps that was wrong but we became friends.

..O..

"I'm leaving early." Sesshoumaru informed his assistant as he grabbed his coat to leave the office. "Forward all my calls to Inuyasha's desk."

"Mr. Taisho, you've been leaving work early every day." His assistant found it necessary to reply to him. "I've already begun forwarding them."

He glared daggers at her from the corner of his eye. "Excuse me?" He asked coldly.

"I—I was just saying… Sure thing Mr. Taisho, I'll forward your calls immediately." She quickly recovered.

"Hn." He said as he continued to walk away, he had other business to attend to.

Sesshoumaru had been doing the same thing every night after work since Kagome had walked out of his office and simultaneously out of his life. That first night he had felt more compelled to break his word than he ever had in his long life.

He felt as if he needed to see Kagome. To touch her and make her forget whatever foolishness that had led her to her decision. He didn't care that he was married, it meant nothing to him and Kagura had known that from the beginning even if she'd grown attached to him. He was not acting dishonorably and Kagome had no reason to feel guilty. It was merely bad timing that he'd found his mate while Rin was young. He and Kagome would live centuries, he only had one short human lifetime with Rin and he would not allow Kagura to take any amount of time away from it.

Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru had not broken his word to stay away from Kagome because it would have been dishonorable but because it would have made her unhappy. It had taken him a moment to understand it. He'd never cared before about anything as trivial as upsetting someone else, but he'd felt strongly that he should spare Kagome that unhappiness. If she wanted him to stay away he would. He would wait for her to come back to him.

That first night though, he had still felt unnervingly restless and he'd found himself leaving work and walking through the desolate streets of the city. At first he'd unconsciously been easing his way towards Kagome's work so he abruptly turned a random corner and walked into some other random bar. He sat down and ordered a particular drink, drank that one, and left to go home to Rin. One drink hardly effected him but he would never let Rin see him as anything other than pristine. It would have been shameful.

The next night he did the same thing and the following nights after that one as well. It would always be another random bar down another random street. He always sat far to the left, ordered that one particular drink and then left. He was aware of what he was doing, playing out the first time that they'd spoken. The only problem was that she never showed up to play her part. Her role was always vacant. And so the next night he'd just go somewhere else. He knew it was pointless, that Kagome was never going to be in one of the random bars but the routine somehow helped him to ease his mind.

When days had turned into weeks and weeks had turned into months, he'd begun to wonder if she'd ever want to see him again. He'd arrogantly tried to dismiss the thought at first but as more time passed it had started to become less and less easy to ignore. Maybe she wouldn't want to see him. Maybe she wouldn't even be there after the ten years he'd informed her she'd have to wait. '_Perhaps she'd never come back to him," _he thought.

So Sesshoumaru left work again, in route to a random bar in which to wait for a Kagome that would never show up there. He walked into a lowly-lit smoke filled bar, and blended in with the gloomy setting as he took a seat on another random bar stool.

"What can I get for you tonight hun?" The smiling yet vacant-eyed bartender asked him as she wiped down the counter.

"A Black Velvet." Sesshoumaru's deep baritone announced without giving her a second glance. Every bartender had become insignificant, unrecognizable from the ones that had poured his drink the nights before.

"Sure thing." She said as she began taking out the contents.

"You know," She started without averting her eyes from her task. "…this drink was born out of misery." She explained. "Back in London, sometime in the mid 1800s, it appeared after Prince Albert's death. A bartender created it as a symbol of mourning for his wife, Queen Victoria." She paused for a moment. "It's said that she mourned his death every day for the rest of her life."

She finished combining the black and purple mixture and placed it in front of Sesshoumaru. He reached out and grasped it slowly.

"You waste your words." Sesshoumaru's cold detached voice replied as he took his first burning sip of the pungent liquid. "The drink's origins were not lost on me." He had already thought about the coincidence that it had been the one he'd ordered the night Kagome and he began speaking. Maybe it had been fate that it would end up this way.

She half-smiled at him then, her eyes still muddled with her own emptiness, as she informed him,"I never thought differently."

At that Sesshoumaru did give her a short second glance as she walked off to serve another customer. '_Hn… perhaps, she's mourning too.'_ He considered impassively as he raised his glass to indulge in another burning sip.

He decided he'd come back to this particular bar again tomorrow.

* * *

><p>Word Count: 2077<p>

**_Author's Note:_**

_So as everyone can see, I've changed the name of the story. I wanted something that held both significance and insignificance. I ended up choosing the name of the drink Sesshoumaru ordered at the bar the night he and Kagome first spoke. It's one of my favorite scenes and I remembered spending an ample amount of time fretting over what the particular drink would be. I think that both the drink and its history fits the mood of the story well and I hope you do too. For those who liked the other title better, I hope this one will grow on you._

_A special thank you to Ceferadel (dokuga) who played a major part in helping me choose and giving me some ideas for this chapter. =)_


	19. Chapter 19: Sneaking Out

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 19: Sneaking Out**

* * *

><p><em>"Sing for me Kagome." His deep voice penetrated me even as I stood in utter darkness. The shadowed place of my nightmares was surrounding me and his voice echoed from everywhere.<em>

_I felt a hard bony hand plant itself on my shoulder and I ran. Or at least I thought I was running. I was weightless and the black world around me didn't move. There was no gentle breeze that ran across my skin, no sign to let me know my legs were taking me anywhere at all._

_"You can never get away." I could hear him whisper in my ear as if he was right beside me. His warm breath played across the skin of my neck and I felt goosebumps line my insides._

_I stopped only when my chest started hurting. My lungs were burning and I looked down to eye my torso. I saw nothing but I could feel something heavy pressing down on me. I thought that I heard a rib crack._

_A close distance away I could see another figure and to my relief it wasn't Naraku. It was a little girl with brown hair and big brown eyes. Drips of blue fell from her long sooty lashes but my eyes focused on the drips of red that fell from her fingertips._

_I stumbled forward and her big brown eyes blinked up at me. There were wounds so deep in her chest that the pressure on mine seemed to be nothing. _

_"Always and forever." Naruku promised and the child shivered along with me._

_Gathering her into my arms I closed my eyes and whispered to her that everything was going to be alright, that she wouldn't hurt anymore, that I'd protect her. I promised. _

_"But who will protect you?" Naraku's voice questioned me._

_And when I opened my eyes again and looked down to check on the little girl, I found my arms were wrapped tightly around myself, my nails digging into my arms and my arms going numb._

_Something was oozing into the fabric of my sleeves, it was wet and warm and shocked, I released my arms. It came pouring then, from deep ragged gashes in my own chest, the viscous crimson fluid seeping out of me with the pulses of my heartbeat._

_Frantically I snapped my head up to scream for help and Sesshoumaru was already standing there, gleaming, beautiful, and real._

_Mindlessly I grabbed him, wrapping my arms around his neck, holding tight, crying into his silver hair the mantra of…"Save me… save me… save me." _

_I felt his strong arms begin to encircle my small frame and it felt like safety._

_But the safety slowly twisted into something unrecognizable._

_His arms grew tighter and tighter and his claws started to pierce into my back until I was sure he could have scratched bone. With my head buried in his neck, I witnessed the strands of his hair fade to black and I shuddered as his body temperature shifted from the heat that I knew so well to the deathly chill of ice. I didn't have to see it to know that his golden eyes were now ruby colored ones._

_"We'll save each other Kagome." Naraku whispered in my ear._

..O..

"Kagome! Wake up!" Sango yelled at me as she threw a pillow at my face. "I swear I wish my old roommate was here sometimes. You are impossible to wake up."

"Ugh… what is it?" I asked Sango groggily, trying my best to shake off the nightmare. It was faint but I could still feel Naraku's claws deep in my back.

Staying with Sango for a few weeks after I'd been attacked had turned out better than I thought. It had somehow led me to break my lease and move in with her. And she'd been right about how easy it was to get rid of her roommate. It seemed the girl had already had one foot out of the door every since Sango had started bringing Miroku back to her apartment. I sometimes wondered how Sango could handle Miroku's wandering eyes but of course I was in no place to pass judgment. Resigning yourself to admit you'd never love someone more than you love a married man, kind of put a damper on judging anyone else's moral code. Besides Miroku was just a flirt, Sango was a lucky woman really.

"It's 8 o'clock, I don't even understand how you could be sleeping on our day off." Sango continued, while she searched through my things on the dresser. "Where's the perfume I let you borrow?"

"I dropped the bottle in the bathroom… it shattered." I answered truthfully. "Sorry." I added for good measure as I pulled the sheets over my head. The bright light of the room hurt my eyes after being trapped in the black world that was my nightmare and for a moment I recalled the image of Sesshoumaru. It may have seemed insignificant in retrospect to everything that had occurred in my dream but that one perfect moment of bliss where I'd felt safe in Sesshoumaru's arms was hitting me with a greater intensity than all the blood and gore had.

Sango sighed at the loss of her favorite perfume. "Well that's not why I was waking you up anyway. You have a visitor."

"Who?" I asked peering out from under the covers.

"Inuyasha."

"Inuyasha is always here." I remarked blankly. "He shouldn't even be considered a visitor anymore."

"You do realize that I can hear you Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice called from the living room.

"Good, then I can personally ask you to leave. I'm not exactly in the mood for company today." I replied back almost pleadingly.

Sango came closer and whispered so that Inuyasha couldn't hear. "I'm going out with Miroku tonight Kagome and you know that I don't like leaving you here alone, just humor him tonight…for me?"

Every since I'd let her in on my past or more specifically that the Naraku incident had not been a random attack, she had started going out of her way to make sure I was never left alone. In fact since I'd moved in two and a half months prior I'd probably had less than two days' worth of hours to myself. It had been a necessity to inform her since I'd been waking up in cold sweats or screaming from my constant nightmares. They were never so bad when I woke up from them in the daylight but if I woke up to a dark bedroom, I could almost feel Naraku's hardened rubies watching me.

I knew she thought that she was being a good friend and protecting me but being monitored so closely left me feeling stifled. The growing need to get away was making itself apparent more and more each day. But as she stared down at me with worry glazing over her brown eyes, I could not find it in myself to turn down her simple request. Inuyasha had become a constant figure in my life at this point anyhow. He hardly ever failed to show up at Sango's and my apartment, even if asked him not to.

Inuyasha sought after my companionship though I couldn't understand why he'd wish to be in the presence of someone broken all the time. He was great company and a loyal friend but sometimes the resemblance of him to his brother, which had ultimately began our friendship, would become too much for me. I'd find myself staring at him a second too long or absentmindedly running my fingers through his silvery locks. At first I didn't want to accidentally lead him on or cause any unnecessary difficulties between us so I'd tried to distance myself from him as well. But he'd never stay away. He was far more stubborn than anyone I'd ever met before and since he'd decided he was going to be my friend I'd just have to live with it. I learned quickly that living with it wasn't going to be that hard, I really liked him actually.

I didn't, however, inform Inuyasha about my past with Naraku. He seemed to have a particularly strong protective streak and I didn't want to get him involved in my problems. As far as he knew it was just some random occurrence, a night where he got to save a damsel in distress. But more importantly, I never told Inuyasha about my past relationship with Sesshoumaru. The two didn't get along, I'd known that before I'd even met Inuyasha. Once when he'd eyed the bracelet on my wrist he'd asked me what store it had come from. I lied and since it never came up again, I figured he didn't know because the two brothers were so emotionally distant.

Unwrapping myself from my covers, I stretched before walking out into the apartment, passing the living room and Inuyasha to saunter into the kitchen.

"Why are you even here?" I asked Inuyasha semi-jokingly as I looked for the ingredients to mix us some drinks. That was a definite upside to having a bartender as a roommate, we were never short on alcohol. Sango really loved her job and though she probably regretted it now, she'd even taught me a few things. Well she taught me how to make the one drink that really mattered.

Black Velvets had become what my singing had once been. I could no longer sing away my grief after finding something or rather someone better to sing for. But with the drink, I'd learned to drown all my worries away. Was I using alcohol as a crutch? Probably, but no one is perfect. The stress of moving into a new apartment could be enough to set others on edge. I had a sadistically obsessed Naraku, terrible nightmares, and a fragile broken heart to tend to in addition to that. And somehow Sesshoumaru's drink helped calm my nerves so I made sure to have one at least once a day.

Obviously Sango had noticed and disapproved since all the ingredients were, to my dissatisfaction, gone.

"What do you mean, why am I here?" Inuyasha asked faking a hurt expression.

"I sometimes wonder that too Inuyasha." Sango yelled jokingly from the back room as she continued to get ready for her date. "I mean don't you have some huge mansion or rooftop condo to go home to?"

"Both." Inuyasha admitted with a grin. "But neither one of those has got my favorite person in them." He looked at me.

"Oh stop." I said, giving up my search for the obviously disposed of ingredients. "I cannot possibly be your favorite person, we're just friends."

"We are." He added simply before his silver ears twitched and he turned towards the door. "Miroku's here!" He yelled. A few moments later Sango hurried out from one of the back rooms in a beautiful green silk dress.

"So how do I look?" She asked me, giving me a tentative glance and spinning a bit so that I could see her fully.

"You look great but you'd look even better if I'd had a drink." I stated accusingly.

"Your obsession with that drink isn't healthy." She explained, giving me a disappointed look as she went to open the door.

"She's right you know." Inuyasha added.

I ignored both comments and decided I'd have to go pick up the ingredients later or maybe go stop by a bar. In fact, it would be just the alone time that I'd been needing.

Miroku hadn't even made it up the stairs yet by the time Sango opened the door.

"Actually, I like you being here." Sango turned to Inuyasha before closing the door to meet Miroku in the stairwell. "Sometimes I forget that you're a hanyou, you're hearing comes in rather handy." She said good-naturedly, laughing as she shut the door behind her.

Inuyasha tried to hide it but I'd seen the flicker of some off-putting emotion at Sango's words. Even as an upperclass, highly paid business man he could not escape the shame he felt of his own mixed blood. All it took was the mention of hanyou for it to be written on his face.

I couldn't understand it. Even now it was rare for demons and humans to mate, I could only imagine what he'd gone through in his long life. I found nothing wrong with him, in fact I wished that fate would have been kind enough to put me in the position to have a few hanyous of my own.

"So Kagome…" Inuyasha's tentative voice pulled me out of my musings. "I've got a small favor to ask of you, a proposition really."

"And what would that be?" I asked making my way over to the living room. I lowered my languid body down on the couch and turned on the T.V.

I followed what Inuyasha was saying for a few sentences but his voice quickly became muffled in my ears as I listened to the news. Apparently, Naraku was still at large and they'd found the body of a woman police officer in some abandoned building. She'd been raped and brutally murdered. They didn't formally connect the two stories, but I did. I knew it had to have been Naraku. Shakily, my hand lifted the remote to turn the T.V. back off. Inuyasha didn't seem to notice.

"…so will you go with me?" I heard Inuyasha ask. "…as friends of course. Going to gatherings and rubbing elbows isn't really my thing but since Sesshoumaru isn't attending it's only right that I do."

I probably flinched visibly at the mention of Sesshoumaru's name. That coupled with what I'd just learned from the T.V. left me feeling uneasy.

I _really_ needed a drink.

"I'll go with you." I answered hastily. No harm could come from it if Sesshoumaru wasn't going to be there anyway, right? I couldn't imagine facing him after so long. Getting up from the couch, I added. "But I'm going to get ready for bed now so you should probably get home." I hoped Sango hadn't given him any instructions to hover over me.

"Well that was far simpler than I thought it'd be." Inuyasha admitted rubbing the back of his neck as he rose from the couch as well, "I thought for sure I'd have to pull out the 'I saved your life and fixed your car' cards tonight."

"Save those cards for another time." I answered trying my best to work a believable smile on my face. It looked like Sango had forgotten to inform him."Goodnight Inuyasha."

I waited 15 minutes after Inuyasha's car pulled away from my building before grabbing a light jacket and exiting the apartment myself.

Sure, it was late… I was alone… and Naraku was out there somewhere lurking but I wasn't ignorant to his presence and I would be driving, not walking the streets this time. Besides, it would only be just one quick trip to the bar and back. No one would even know I'd ever left the apartment. Nothing was bound to happen, I assured myself.

* * *

><p>Word Count: 2519<p>

_A.N: Sorry for the wait, hope no one forgot about this story. I don't particularly care too much for this chapter but the next one will be out soon enough and will have Sesshoumaru in it. I already explained in an A.N on another story but college, my dog (of 11 years) passing away, and many other real life occurrences all added up to delay this chapter. I hope everyone understands. My mood was up and down and also my muse wasn't really cooperating either. In the end, writing helped me feel better though. _

_I love my readers and reviewers so... become one of them?_

_btw- it's Christmas Eve_


	20. Chapter 20: A Daiyoukai's Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 20: A Daiyoukai's Past**

_A.N: This chapter is almost three times the length of chapters I usually write. I don't know how it got so long but in the beginning of this story I said that chapter lengths would vary so I suppose I had good foresight lol. Anyway, this entire chapter is strictly Sesshoumaru since I felt we needed to get to know him better. It has some present, a lot of past, and a good deal of events retold from his point of view. Hope you enjoy it._

_Special thanks to White Luna for Beta-ing for me!_

* * *

><p>It was the first night that Sesshoumaru hadn't left the office early in a long time. Work had steadily been building up on him from months of neglecting his obligations. He'd refused to leave the country on any business trips, conferred a heavier work load to Inuyasha, and had virtually kept the company at a standstill by not moving forward in any new acquisitions. Tonight, he'd begrudgingly decided to finish as much as he could in one sitting. He was the president of the company and therefore could tend to his work in whichever way and at whatever time that he wanted. So he'd stayed late running over this proposal or that proposition, rubbing his temples in irritation until his eyes grew weary. Inhaling a deep breath as he sat aside the last document, he began to gather his things. At least he wouldn't have to worry about having another one of these nights for another couple of months since he was sure he'd get right back to neglecting his work again tomorrow and it would take awhile for it to build up again.<p>

Turning off his desk lamp he strolled across the floor of his office to leave. Glancing back one last time at the room that had become more like a prison since he'd lost his drive to really care about his business, to really care about the power and respect he'd craved since he could remember. He found himself wondering when that craving had even begun? All he seemed to crave now was Kagome. But he knew that at one time, power and owning the company had meant everything to him. Taking a moment to think back he figured that his obsession with power had begun with the disseverment of his relationship with his father…

..O..

_It had been a day like many others._

_Sesshoumaru had finished training with his sensei, excelling in all that was taught, as was expected from the heir to the Western Lands, even though he was still such a young pup._

_He had been reserved from the day he was born, his father taking less than a moment to dub him with his name based solely off of his demeanor. He was the 'killing perfection' and growing up Sesshoumaru deemed it necessary to live up to all that his honored father had wanted him to be, strengthening his body and mind in the hopes to win his father's approval in the times he'd return from fighting the wars. He always carried himself with dignity, his emotions held in check._

_Sesshoumaru respected his father and his accomplishments. He was the most powerful demon in the lands and Sesshoumaru wanted to grow up to be just like him. His father was always indifferent but honorable without fault. He showed Sesshoumaru little affection but nods of approval were more than enough and Sesshoumaru strove for that acceptance. The only time he allowed himself to be the carefree youth of his short 200 year existence, merely 9 in human appearance, was in the presence of his mother._

_His mother was a caring soul, gentle and loving to her only son and indifferent mate. Though others were offput by Sesshoumaru's lack of visible emotions, she had always joked that she was open enough for the both of them. She knew what was hidden underneath his mask and like all mothers, understood him better than anyone else. She saw how he worked himself for the approval of her mate and always made sure to tell him that he should try hard for himself, for his opinion was the one that truly mattered. His smiles and youthful giggles were meant only for her eyes and ears._

_Sesshoumaru could see in his mother's eyes all the love and admiration she held for his father though his days spent away from the castle increasingly outnumbered his days there and the displays of affection between the two were few and far between._

_After training, Sesshoumaru was informed that his mother requested his presence in the gardens but had decided that taking the scenic route would do little harm. When he finally turned down the corridor leading there, the sounds of battle assaulted his small pointed ears._

_Rushing and flinging open the doors, his eyes fell on the battle. His mother faced off with what looked to be four humans, three were already dead. Though loving, his mother was also deadly and possibly stronger than any other female demonness. It had been said that with her and his father's blood pulsing in his veins, Sesshoumaru had been bound for greatness. Her grace when fighting was unrivaled, even by his father. It was said that there had never been a more beautiful sight._

_He walked out calmly, watching as her green poisonous whip cracked, and two more humans fell._

_Had Sesshoumaru known more about humans, he would have been able to discern what the two remaining humans were. He could sense something different about them but he'd never felt it before, never having left the castle._

_It all happened so quickly. He watched as his mother broke the first rule of fighting, turning her back to her enemies to face him. He'd been confused when her whip cracked in his direction and the thud of a body sounded at his feet._

_He looked down eyes widening. The woman's body emitted a light that singed his skin where she fell against him. He had failed to notice her in his initial count of his mother's opponents. When he raised his eyes, he caught the slight smile and relief etched into his mothers features just before she fell, the sword piercing through her chest emitting the same light._

_An uncharacteristic strangled cry left his throat and his skin began to burn. His own poisonous powers had finally come into being. Small glowing green claws sliced through the flesh of the two humans. Even as his eyes burned red, his vision blurry with tears, he glared down at the miko who'd killed his mother. She gurgled out something about 'revenge' just before he silenced her for good, a whip so much like his mothers severing her windpipe. Glancing down to his right, something gold and silver glinted in the pile of dust being carried away by the unforgiving breeze. His eyes hardened and his expression became one colder than he'd ever had before, as he bent to pick up his mother's bracelet._

_His father's anticipated speedy return never came. Sesshoumaru blamed himself. Had he been stronger, wiser, he could have saved his mother. He grieved alone, in silence, pushing more of his attention to his studies and training. Rumors that the humans had been sent to kill he and his mother, in revenge for his father's relationship with a human hime, were whispered within the castle walls. He silenced them lethally until the day his father returned._

_His mother's scent had not even faded completely when his father brought that human woman into the castle. It was that action which finally led Sesshoumaru to turn his back on emotions altogether._

_What did emotions do? They led to his mother's death. If she hadn't cared for him, tried to save him, she never would have lost that battle. They led to pain. If he hadn't cared for her so deeply, he wouldn't have been hurting so badly. And lastly, they'd led his father to act dishonorably. Emotions meant only weakness._

_It was shameful that his father tried to mate Izayoi. You could only have one mate. But even he, with all his immeasurable power, could not. His father had been unable to override the mark of his mother so as an alternative option he'd chosen the faulty way of the humans, marriage. Marriage, that said his father and Izayoi were bound, but that could not convince Sesshoumaru that his mother was no longer his father's true mate. There was no physical proof, no combining of life forces, no eternal connection. Marriage was nothing. And as for the offspring his father's new union created, his half-brother Inuyasha, the boy was illegitimate and so undeserving in all ways. Sesshoumaru watched as his father's time spent away from the castle lessened. He watched his once indifferent father show his "wife" and Inuyasha, more affection than he and his mother were ever given._

_Sesshoumaru continued to strengthen himself, rooting out all weaknesses. At that young age Sesshoumaru had begun to shun emotions like love the same way that those emotions had attempted to shun the memory of his mother. He decided he would live his life obtaining unrivaled power and respect not wasting his time with ideas of love or affection because the latter were fickle at best and at worse they led to only pain. He would surpass his father in every way. With age, Sesshoumaru grew in power and cut down anyone unlucky enough to be seen as an obstacle in his path without remorse. He became hardhearted, unpitying, and ruthless in seeking to obtain his goals._

_Centuries went by, things changed. He watched his father's bride grow old and die without the mating bond to sustain her life, his father's rule over his lands became his rule of a company, and the way to obtain power shifted to no longer be through bloodshed and sheer strength but through intelligence and strategy. Sesshoumaru adjusted flawlessly; his swords and battle armor replaced by briefcases and bluetooths, his silken robes exchanged for Armani suits._

_Sesshoumaru's demeanor, however, didn't change. He seemed to become only more merciless and icy with the passing of the years and grew more powerful and arrogant as well. Overtime his exact reasons for his withdrawal had grown less important and he couldn't really have been any other way if he had wanted to be, which he didn't. He still considered emotions and marriage as worthless. His father not approving of Sesshoumaru's impassive demeanor or lack of emotions, sought to change him. Sesshoumaru always took it as disappointment and disfavor and resented his father for not respecting him for his strength._

_So when the stipulation was revealed that he'd have to mate in order to obtain his father's company, his birth right, it was akin to a smack in the face. The company was the last thing that he needed to truly surpass his father, to be the most powerful being alive. Sesshoumaru had no want or use of a mate, nor would he ever. It was salt in the wound that he would be passed over and the company would fall into the hands of Inuyasha, if he didn't meet said stipulations._

_Sesshoumaru would not mate but knowing his father and his devotion, albeit illegitimate in Sesshoumaru's eyes, to his tie with his late wife Izayoi; Sesshoumaru negotiated to marriage. It would mean nothing to him but his father was sure to agree. Sesshoumaru would come out of the situation unscathed, although dealing with his half brother daily would be a hindrance, he could live with having him in a position of subordinate._

_He didn't give it much thought. He'd respected Kagura. She was powerful enough to not ruin his reputation, malicious to an extent, cunning, and in the old days had been just as bloodthirsty as he was. The only thing she'd been lacking in was innate status. It would be a beneficial agreement for the both of them. She knew it was strictly business. He'd obtain the company and she'd gain access to his assets, finances, and the status that being aligned with him would bring. The marriage had come into being with little hassle, no ceremony, and no honeymoon. Though he'd slept with a numerous amount of females before marrying Kagura, he hadn't felt the need to that night or any since._

_He procured the company after the marriage, his father stepping down, and he proceeded to run it with an iron fist. He was unrelenting, driven, he saw what he wanted and took it. Business to Sesshoumaru was a bloodthirsty endeavor and he reveled in it. He only had the company four years before his father died and Sesshoumaru had already expanded it overseas by the time his father left the land of the living._

_..O.._

No longer feeling pride in regards to his previous accomplishments in obtaining and advancing the company, Sesshoumaru let his office door shut with a resounding 'click'. None of it even seemed to matter anymore. He had grown too arrogant, too headstrong, believing that he could rid himself of his emotions and that he was too powerful to ever need or fall victim to said emotions. If he could have known then what he knew now, he'd have never gone through with the sham of a marriage. He would gladly give up the company for her, for Kagome.

When Sesshoumaru finally made it down to the lobby, stepping off the elevator, he saw that the car he'd informed of his late working hours was still waiting for him but he waved the driver off with a dismissing flick of his wrist. He thought that staying so late would have quelled his need to commit to his nightly bar routine but it seemed as if it wasn't to be so.

He had no desire to go home without first reenacting that night he'd first spoken to her. Mentally sighing, he gathered his resolve to face another disappointing night in which Kagome would not be by his side. He detested that he was continuing to do this to himself. He could not forget her because he'd realized she was his mate but she had to have moved on by now. She didn't have a inner beast forcing itself into her conscious and reminding her of him the way that his reminded him of her repeatedly. She had asked him to stay away and after so many months she had not returned to him. And that spoke volumes.

But still here he was walking the streets of the well-known path that would lead him to the bar that he'd become a regular at. He wondered at what point tonight he'd get that crushing reminder that Kagome was not to make an appearance and that it was all just pretend. He had no idea how all of this had come to be, it just had. Everything had happened so fast which was unprecedented for someone like him, who was meticulous and strategic. He'd always had an ulterior motive, goal, or aim in everything that he'd done. Marrying Kagura had been the prime example, it was simply a means to an end to obtain his company but that had not been the last time that he'd made such a decision.

Making a right down a smaller street, he continued towards the bar he'd come to know as _Anraku, _and he let his mind drift off to twenty-two years after his father died…

..O..

_Sesshoumaru was of course at the height of his career. Since expanding his company, overseas business had been just as successful as that in his homeland. His power and influence had grown exponentially. He was a being motivated by power and felt that in the short twenty-six years that he'd had Tetsusaiga Industries, he was beginning to come dangerously close to obtaining all the power the business world could give him. It was time to begin preparing for what were to be his future accomplishments. The next logical step, politics._

_He spoke to advisors, made plans, and much to his displeasure the angle of 'Sesshoumaru Taisho as the loving family man' had kept coming up as a way to offset his 'take no prisoners' approach to business which may have not gathered him much support in the political sphere. He of course was not willing to have a child with Kagura. That had not been a part of the original agreement and so he looked into other options. He was not sold on adoption, surely he alone would be enough to have the masses voting for him. But to appease his need to cover all his bases, he decided to entertain the possibility. Any child brought into his home would be provided for without incident, it would be an honored position to be in._

_The choice to do so became something he was grateful for and the only source of shame in his existence. He was grateful that Rin had come into his life but he felt shame that essentially she'd been meant to be a ploy in his conquest for more power. He would inform her of this fact, whenever she grew old enough to ask for he was not foolish enough to believe that she wouldn't at some point. He would not lie. At the time he'd only considered adopting a demon child but had ultimately chosen Rin when he'd set eyes on her gap toothed six year old human face. It was this fact that he trusted would lessen the blow to their relationship when she found out. She had been his first real connection with any other being since his mother died. When she'd smiled at him, he'd cared momentarily what future would befall that shy orphaned little girl and so he'd adopted her in order to shape said future as he saw fit. Overtime she grew into a shy 'not so gapped toothed' eight year old girl, and he'd grown to care more strongly about her as well. She was his daughter as far as he was concerned, and his opinion was the only one that mattered after all. He felt that he owed her for being the first spark in his cold life._

_..O.._

Stepping down off the curb to cross the street, the sound of a car horn tore his mind away from his musings. His golden eyes flittered to the left at the noise to take in the approaching headlights and with a bland expression on his face, his sculpted suit-clad arm reached out almost leisurely. He was barely aware of the impact, as fibre glass and carbon steel bent underneath his strong fingers. Smoke seeped out from the now mangled car hood and blinking slowly, he stood still for a few moments taking in the scene. He cared little about the damage caused, the fool inside the car was to blame and should feel lucky that the car was all that was being damaged, but somehow the picture indirectly drew his mind back to Kagome and then of course his grief. Drawing his hand back, disregarding the driver, he continued on his way.

Vaguely Sesshoumaru acknowledged that he should have had at least enough pride to keep him from wallowing in his grief so long but this was Kagome he was talking about and from the beginning she'd been affecting him in unexpected ways. It wasn't until Kagome that he'd really lost a grip on who he was. He'd had no goal, no ulterior motive when it came to her. She was not a means to an end or a way to gather more power. In fact, she'd made him feel weak… out of control even. Although he'd become obsessed with reenacting the first night they'd spoken… his obsession with her had truly begun before he'd ever even learned her name. His obsession with her had started the very first time he'd heard her sing. He could remember it clearly. That very first night, him walking in to that bar, it had been a complete accident. Fate or not, he had somehow ended up in her presence.

..O..

_His driver had been chauffeuring him home from a late night at the office and he'd been taking a business call, set on tying up some loose ends to a very important deal. He could still recall his annoyance as the car slowed to a stop and he watched dark smoke seep out of the hood. Insignificant quandaries such as car trouble were beneath him. Glaring at his driver as if it was somehow the man's fault, he'd grabbed his briefcase and exited the vehicle, planning to catch a cab home._

_That's when he'd felt it… distress, anxiety, nervousness; feelings that he couldn't have possibly been feeling of his own accord. It took a moment to separate his own consciousness from the unfamiliar emotions running through him. Narrowing his eyes, he centered himself and set to figuring out what exactly was going on and where those feelings were coming from._

_Kaichou? He glared at the establishment that seemed to be pulling at his senses. What was this place and why was it affected him?_

_"We will continue this discussion at a later time." He informed his business associate as he abruptly ended his call to stalk across the street. Taking no heed to the speeding cars, he crossed to the place that he could feel the disturbance emanating from. When he walked through the door, he was greeted with a smile from the brown eyed bartender behind the counter which he of course did not return, as well as the strong scent of booze, cigarette smoke, and the sound of a man's voice announcing something to the patrons. It was definitely a place that he'd have never bothered to step foot in if something had not accosted his person in such a way. He could feel whatever it was much stronger now except that it wasn't so distressing anymore. It felt more like… shock, awe, and something else he had no name for._

_He turned left to sit at a table near the back by the entrance to narrow in on the source of his discomfort, although if he had to have admitted it, it wasn't so much discomforting as it was perplexing. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. Why would he be aware of the emotions emitted from another being? It was then that he heard the electrical noises of a microphone being shuffled around and he glanced up._

_At that moment, he was glad that he had chosen to sit down. He was sure that he may have stumbled or dare he even think it—fainted, as his eyes took in the sight before him. She was but a slip of a woman, a human, but every inch of her made up for it. Every inch of her was beautiful. Though small, her feminine curves were divine in a tight but classy red silken dress. Dark midnight hair pooled around her heart shaped face and over her shoulders, falling just below the swell of her breasts. Her pouty pink lips were parted slightly in front of the microphone as a dainty hand grasped it close. He could just make out her shaky breaths. And when his golden eyes became ensnared by her bright cerulean orbs focused on him, heat began a relentless assault on his body and mind. It was as if he'd been dunked in ice and then lit on fire, and still he couldn't take his eyes off of her. When he thought it couldn't have possibly gotten any worse, or perhaps he meant better, she'd begun to sing._

_And then… nothing. Nothing mattered to him anymore. Nothing else but she and he and in those eternal moments his siren's voice hollowed out his cold heart and filled it with the warm melody of her voice. His beast roared to life in contentment._

_And for the first time in all his many years, he'd actually been… afraid._

_Which was of course preposterous, Sesshoumaru Taisho was not scared of anything. He was strong, prideful, cold, unrelenting, decisive, strategic, but he was never afraid. Except that he was at that moment because he couldn't even breathe._

_After her song ended, he watched her heavy breathing as she tried to regain her composure and became aware of his own chest heaving up and down in an effort to regain his. The male who had introduced her to the crowd caught her attention and Sesshoumaru's trance was broken as her gaze lifted from his. Grabbing his briefcase, Sesshoumaru turned his back on her and left._

_Days later, he was still tense. His stoic mask spoke nothing of the raging thoughts going through his head but he was uncharacteristically anxious. He had run like a coward from a girl, a small human girl, when he had never backed down from anything! And he had let her affect him. It was unfeasible. When he'd left the bar he'd aimed to avoid it like the plague for the rest of his, for all intensive purposes, immortal life but now the idea seemed repugnant. Him, hide away from a girl? It was utterly distasteful._

_After a few weeks, intent on proving to himself that it had all been a fluke, that his emotional defenses had not been breached without so much as a single lifted finger, he'd gone back. And upon entering, he'd felt her watching him, felt as she approached him, and felt her emotions as they stirred within his person or perhaps this time they were his own? He couldn't tell. Somehow he had left her with his business card and phone number, and had went out of his way to learn the name of the woman he'd gone there to dismiss. Kagome. It had sounded as sweet as she smelled. He'd even asked her to sing for him again, for god's sake. What was wrong with him?_

_After that he'd planned on never picking up the phone but when she called a week later, he'd answered and as if he'd already premeditated it, he'd invited her to one of his hotels. Then he'd sent the green-eyed bellboy, Shippou, to retrieve her when he noticed- from staring down at her car intently from his top floor penthouse suite with his exceptionally sharp demon vision- that she had not exited her vehicle. And that night, he was almost sure _he'd_ seduced _her _after she'd enchanted him with her voice for the second time. He'd taken her in the most passionate, frantic, lust filled, and demanding way that he could; and he'd been increasingly surprised when his beast rose to the surface in the middle of it. He'd only not engaged in the physical act in a little less than three decades and he was sure that not once in the many times he'd indulged in the past, had his beast ever made an appearance. Casually, he pushed those thoughts to the recesses of his mind. It had meant nothing. He had just lusted for her, surely._

_He mentally cringed as her feelings of content shifted to that of despair when her fingers scraped across his wedding band. She'd condemned him for not informing her he was married though he had not hidden it, yelled at him about the significance of marriage though marriage was nothing, and even dared to question his honor for cheating on a mate that he did not even have. Though he did grow tense, his reaction should have been that of outrage but instead his beast rose to the surface to claim her lips, he gave her an explanation, and he'd merely went to take a shower. In the past, he'd killed others for irritating him less than she had. From inside his shower he could scent her tears and feel her anguish and he ignored the pull they had on him. Why should he have wanted to comfort her? She was nothing to him really, just a passing fancy, a desire that he'd sated. He hoped that perhaps things would go back to normal now. But when he heard her slam the hotel suite door in her exit, the sound reverberated through him, shaking his core. He immediately resented her leaving and himself for not demanding that she stay which he couldn't understand because he had wanted to be rid of the girl. Hadn't he?_

_She'd crept back into his mind repeatedly after that encounter and it wasn't until he found himself in that bar a month later, in front of her and asking her to come with him that everything had truly begun to sink in. He needed her. And although he didn't know why he needed her, it was still a revelation of sorts that he would not have accepted himself if it had not been for his overwhelming urge to apologize to her for before. He had never apologized for anything and he'd found that he couldn't even bring himself to say the words. Instead he'd chosen to show her just how sorry he was. He allowed himself to take solace in her heady scent and the taste of her desire for him but ultimately that night had been for her. He'd treasured her body, sought out her pleasure, and took away all the hurt he'd caused her. He wanted her to cry out in rapture for every tear that he'd made her shed for him and afterwards all he'd wanted to do was lay with her._

_Even after that night he wasn't willing to admit anymore than that he didn't want her to flee from him. As their relationship progressed and she'd begun opening up to him, he'd found himself doing the same. She interested him, amused him, and caught him off guard so much that if she'd have been his opponent she would have come out victorious. He'd become increasingly possessive of her after he'd learned about her violent past. He did not want anyone to ever touch her again, to touch what was his. His? He realized he didn't dislike the sound of it as he should have._

_His marriage was getting in the way. Kagome was hurting. He could feel her discontent every time they parted and it had begun to grow as time went on. At some point, she had become melancholy even in his presence. He'd have divorced just to appease her, but he could not yet. Kagura. She was strong willed, vindictive, and because of her intelligence… dangerous. She would not take well to being cast aside, to losing her status in the society that his influence brought her into. She'd grown attached to her life and if he had to admit it, to him. She would use all that she could to force his hand, and he realized the only thing she could use successfully was Rin. Rin. The only other thing he cared about. Kagura had been shocked that he'd grown fond of Rin, even envious, and had begun trying to use the girl to get in his good graces from the moment she'd realized it. It seemed that Kagura had lost sight of what their relationship was in that they did not have one. It had been strictly business, no more than a contract._

_Sesshoumaru did not know all that Kagome meant to him until that final day. The day she'd decided that she would not continue their affair anymore. As she stood there determined, in pain, and asking him to stay away from her; he realized that he wanted her to be his forever._

_Mating?_ _It was a concept worthy of high regard to an extent but he had known it to be incompatible with his goals. Emotions made one weak, and he was a being striving for ultimate power. Mating with a human seemed even less desirable. When two demons mated they merely shared their power, bonded for eternity. If one died the other could still live on. But when a demon mated a human, the demon not only shared his power but his life. If she were to die, he would die. They could not go on living without each other. At one time he would have called it foolish, but as he was faced with losing her he realized that she was all he really wanted. It was horrible timing. Maybe if he hadn't realized it, he would have been selfish and continued pursuing their relationship, but as it turned out he could not continue to hurt his mate. He would do as she pleased to make her happy, even at the expense of his own happiness. He loved her._

_He'd been carrying around that bracelet for centuries, since he was a pup. No one knew about it and he'd tried to detach himself from the last link to his mother many times before without success. It was the only thing that reminded him he was not always the emotionless being he became. Handing it over to Kagome, with his promise to her, had been easy._

_..O.._

Sesshoumaru could almost laugh at himself now thinking back on his life, if he could laugh without Kagome or if he wasn't so bothered by her absence in his life now. He'd shunned his feelings starting at such a young age that it had taken him forever to know just what he even felt for Kagome. He found himself wishing to see her, hold her, just one more time.

Amber eyes blinked slowly and something wet ran down Sesshoumaru's cheek. Narrowing his eyes, he raised his hand and one clawed fingertip brushed the moisture away from his satin skin. Thundering crashes above caused him to glance up into darkness. A gust of wind blew some of the strands of his silver mane astray and he watched the churning of the night sky's turmoil as heavy raindrops descended. The conditions were those he could personally relate to. Making one final right turn, his steps on the concrete brought him within sight of _Anraku_…

but _Anraku_ was not what he couldn't keep his eyes off of.

* * *

><p>Word Count: 5609<p>

_A.N: Tear or rain drop? I'll just let you decide._

_Double/Triple the reviews since I wrote so much? A girl can dream, right? =] lol._


	21. Chapter 21: The Bottom of the Bottle

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 21: The Bottom of the Bottle**

_Thanks to my beta, White Luna! =]_

* * *

><p>The streets were quiet and dark, filled with a melancholy atmosphere that pulled at my senses. A melancholy atmosphere that tricked me into thinking about the same things that I wanted to forget right now, the things that hurt me and had led me into taking this late night drive in search of the perfect bar in the first place.<p>

There were so many things reeling in my head. Naraku always lurked somewhere in the darkest confines of my mind but even after his reappearance and the constant reminders of his presence, whether it be from my nightmares or the news, Sesshoumaru was still maintaining the majority of my focus. Perhaps that was because I'd never felt more safe then when I'd been wrapped up in his arms or because Naraku could never break me the way I'd already broken myself in distancing myself from him but I didn't have time to think about that right now, right now I had to get a drink to ease my pain, my uneasiness, and I'd just passed another bar.

Sighing, I turned right down a small street I'd never been on before. I guess it wasn't so bad that I was somewhat getting more lost with every turn of my steering wheel because at least I'd know that had Naraku been learning the places I frequented, he surely wouldn't find me tonight. Besides, I didn't want to waste my time out by myself, my much needed alone time, too quickly anyway. So I decided that the hectic drive back would be something like a blessing in disguise.

Up ahead I could see a neon sign flickering and so I parked my car close to a small seemingly indistinguishable bar from the many that I'd driven by on my ride. Shutting and locking the car door behind me, I walked a little until I could glance inside. There was something about this one that was almost inviting though I couldn't really put my finger on why. _Anraku?_ I read the sign again before pushing open the glass door. Chimes jingled to announce my entry and a few heads turned my way. But luckily, I didn't recognize anybody that I knew.

I walked up to the bar and sat on an equally inviting wooden stool that was set closest to the exit. Taking my jacket off, I laid it across my lap, smoothing it out absentmindedly. Gazing around in a mockery of leisure that I did not really feel, I took in the room. It was hazy and smoke filled and there was a rather dry and gloomy atmosphere that if I had to admit it, only complimented myself. A few moments passed and I watched the bartender's back as she made drinks for some of the other customers. I waited silently and before long the bartender strolled over towards me with a smile on her face. I noticed that it didn't quite reach her foggy blue eyes.

"Hey hun, is there something I can get for you?" She asked me, lowering her eyes from mine to the counter in front of me as she began wiping it down.

"A Black Velvet please." I answered while at the same time taking in her appearance. She looked like she belonged in the bar too and for some reason I felt comfortable in her presence, like she was an old friend.

"Interesting." She stated quietly as her head cocked to the side just a bit, her eyes still focused solely on the counter. "I thought I'd finally get a night off without having to make one of those." She finished wiping and looked up at me smiling a disturbingly knowing smile as she strolled off before adding. "I guess not."

_'Okay… that was kind of strange'_ I thought to myself briefly as I stared after the woman but as she began mixing the contents expertly, I shrugged off the feeling. All that mattered was relieving me of my grief. _Grief?_ Was that the word I was looking for? It didn't seem serious enough, threatening to my soul enough, to define how I felt on the inside.

Before I could try to think of a better word, she returned and placed the murky amethyst drink in front of me. The clank of the glass as it hit the wooden counter was like someone introducing me to air for the first time. I thanked her and then ran my fingertips down the side of the cold glass before gripping it. Swirling it around a few times, I watched the contents mix and then brought it to my lips. It was strong and bitter. It tasted just the way I liked it.

I let the sounds of the bar become muffled in my ears to recede into my own mind. How had my even life come to this? Was it some cosmic joke that my life had to continuously be filled with strife? Not only was I not allowed the future that I wanted so badly, the daiyoukai who'd stolen my heart, but the past had even reared its ugly black haired red eyed head again. It was all so unfair. My heart was heavy and my chest heavier with the ever present fear of Naraku. Fate was too cruel. I took another sip of my drink.

"What's your name?"

The question pulled me out of my own head and I looked up from the glass of burning liquid. "Huh?"

"I asked your name." The bartender said, smiling gently.

"Oh… it's Kagome." I answered.

"That's a pretty name." She said, leaning down so that her elbows rested comfortably on the counter. "A pretty name for a pretty girl who spends her time sitting in dim ugly bars… "She leaned in closer. "What exactly do you think you're doing here?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling vulnerable though I didn't know why. "I'm getting a drink just like everyone else." I said gesturing to the other patrons in the bar.

"That's not why you're here." She stated confidently, backing away from me and standing upright. "You're here for the same reason he comes here."

"I don't know what you're talking—

"Look," She said gently, cutting me off, "Just think about what it is you truly need because believe me it isn't that drink."

She gave me a look that I couldn't exactly decipher. It held pity, sadness, and perhaps even a hint of envy but before I could ask her about what she'd said or anything else, she walked off.

I continued to sit there, my fingers digging into the jacket still sitting in my lap, anxious. What was she even talking about? I knew what I needed. I needed to come here and get a drink to- _to what?_ Feel better? To forget my problems? To dull the ache in my heart?

I picked up the glass and took another sip before lowering it to the counter again. Perhaps, I'd get another drink after I was done with this one, and another one after that. Maybe then I would stop hurting, stop being afraid. That's what I truly wanted and really I could just pour the bitter liquid down my throat all night because there wasn't anything else I could do.

The only person who could embrace me and take all my fears away… the only person who could understand the loss, the pain I felt, was not a person at all and I could never turn to him... because I'm the one who pushed him away. Granted I'd been hurting at the time, only having half of him hurt more than only having half of myself would have, and I'd felt guilty, taking from him the love I felt that he should have been giving to his wife… though he disagreed.

_Does he resent me for it?_ The thought slithered its way into my thoughts. It was me he'd proclaimed his love for… me, whom he'd declared his intent to mate with a warmth in his eyes that I was sure no one had ever known and still I'd turned my back on him. Turned my back and let him give his word to me to stay away knowing that he would never break it, leaving him to endure the pain and loss for so long.

At least I assumed that's what he was feeling for it was exactly what I felt still.

But even so, I wouldn't have changed it, my decision. I couldn't. If we had truly been meant to be together than we would have been, right? Fate would have allowed it. But if we weren't meant to be then why did it still hurt so bad? It seemed like I could never stop loving him but it wasn't that which made me sad it was that I didn't ever want to. I didn't want to forget how complete he had made me feel, how safe, how at home it felt to be in his arms. Did he feel the same? Did he still love me as well?

As if on cue, the bracelet on my wrist gleamed in the dull lights of the bar bringing a small smile to my lips. _'He said that I would always be his mate. He loved me.'_ my mind supplied before adding cruelly '_but if he doesn't now it would be all my fault.'_

My heart seized in my chest at the thought that he might not love me anymore and instinctively I reached for my glass again, seeking to reduce the pain.

But when I sat the drink back down, I couldn't help but eye it cautiously. My lipstick had left a print on the glass. Of course it had been doing that all night but the more that I looked at it now… the more it mocked me.

It said, forever.

It spoke of the rest of my life.

I was stuck in the same way that the color was stuck to the glass… stuck in my grief. Sipping on drinks did nothing but dull it. Dulled the pain of being away from him, dulled the pain of facing the next day, dulled the anticipation of Naraku's next attempt to take me. But that's all it did. I thought that I was biding time, letting the drink calm me in the moments where I was sure I'd lose myself, hoping that my grief would lessen over the days, the weeks, the months, but everyday… every morning the pain was the same, never lessened, and I'd just repeat the same thing all over again.

_Pointless._

I had looked to the drink for comfort but it never could have comforted me. Only he could and fate made it so that we could not be. Fate stood between a daiyoukai and a miko, and fate was the one thing neither one of us could ever fight against.

With an anger that I blamed solely on the cold hands of fate, I pushed the glass away from me and watched it fall. With it fell the rest of my strength because I knew that the only plan I'd had to keep myself sane with all that I had to bear had been in that drink. I watched it fall, wondering if my grief will have consumed me by the time it reached the ground, wondering if Naraku will have sensed that I'd given up and finally come for me. I watched the drink fall until the sharp pieces broke away from each other… the amethyst liquid left to race across the floor at my feet.

And then I got up and put my jacket on.

"Have a goodnight Kagome." The bartender's voice called out from behind me even as she bent down, her brown hair rolling over her shoulders, to clean up the mess I'd left in my wake.

I turned around to apologize to her for what extra work my outburst had caused but then I noticed that she actually looked happy, her face bore the first smile that I'd seen actually reach her dark blue eyes.

"You too—"

"It's Sara." She supplied me with the information I'd been seeking.

I nodded.

"Then I hope you have a goodnight as well Sara." I stated just before the chimes announced my departure.

…O…

Sara sat cleaning up the amethyst drink that the girl had pushed away with disgust. It was the same one that had kept _him _coming to the bar for months now, he who could have stolen her heart if he had all but asked for it.

Though he never spoke to her about his problems or what he was going through like most of the patrons in the bar seemed to, she could still see the anguish held behind the impassive gaze of his amber eyes. It was all too familiar to her. She was one who always wanted what she could never have but even to her it seemed wrong that someone so obviously strong… so graceful… so _beautiful _should have to endure it. She wished that she could have been the one to undo what was causing his discomfort or at least have been the one he could share his thoughts with but she didn't overstep her boundaries and he'd never given her an opening to.

When the cerulean eyed midnight haired girl had entered the bar the only day that he had ever been absent, ordering his drink, taking the place of where his solemn aura always sat, Sara had at once known that this girl was the reason. She was the one who held his heart… the other half of his grief, she was just as crestfallen as he always seemed though it shown plainly on the girl. With her, Sara saw her one chance to help him . Kagome… she was lovely but still Sara couldn't help feeling a tad envious knowing that the girl had the stoic and beautiful silver haired taiyoukai devoted to her so completely. It was something Sara felt she would never know. He was unapproachable, untouchable, forbidden even but she could help him… by helping the girl.

Sara was hoping that her words would bring the girl out of her disillusion. It was obvious to her that the two needed each other, not the drink that they were using to feed their wounds. Sara didn't know what had come between them but she did know that there was no escaping love bound as tightly as it seemed to be around the two. Maybe now… the girl had realized it also.

..O…

The rain pelted down on me as soon as I exited out the glass door.

I didn't really know what to do, where to go from here. It was like I'd made it to the end of the line, or the bottom of the bottle, I thought ironically. I would get in my car, drive back to the apartment, and then what?

My heart was still heavy and I was still as afraid, as lost as I had been before I ever stepped into _Anraku, _only now I was also left feeling hopeless and vulnerable.

Heavy steps led me to my car. When I arrived, I reached in to my jacket pocket to retrieve my keys but with added help from the rain they slipped out of my fingers to plummet to the pavement.

Bending down with a sigh, I had just felt the metal against my fingertips when I was jerked back violently. Quickly my mind registered rough hands and black hair before mentally screaming at me that it was Naraku. This was it._ Maybe he really had sensed how lost I was… knew that this would be the perfect time… that—_

My thoughts were cut short when I found myself once again alone on the dark street. Confused, my heart pulsing frantically, I hastily picked myself up from off the street from which I'd fallen so suddenly. When I shakily made it on to my two feet, my eyes rapidly tried to focus on my surroundings.

Through the haze of the dark, the rain, and the blood pumping in my veins I managed to make out the black haired assailant. But what I didn't expect to see was that he was pinned up against a wall, eyes wide with fright, with a clawed hand wrapped fiercely around his neck.

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><p>Word Count: 2736<p>

_A.N: Yes I know cliffhanger BUT since this is an in-between chapter and one that gave me immense problems (still wasn't exactly happy with it but could not stand to stare at it any longer lol) you will have the next chapter in no more than two days! It's basically done, I keep changing a word or two here and there, but I'm extremely pleased with it and I hope you guys will be too. =]_

_Leave a review if you don't mind, I surely don't. lol._

_-E.C._


	22. Chapter 22: The Blame lies with Fate

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 22: The Blame lies with Fate**

_AN: Another long chapter =). Remember anything in "… " is said. Anything in '… ' is thought (italicized or not, doesn't matter... italics are basically used for aesthetic appeal.) __Warning: Do not read if you are uncomfortable with sexually explicit content. Lemon._

_Thanks so much for betaing, giving me advice, and everything else White Luna!_

* * *

><p>I eyed the black haired man being pinned to the wall. His face was towards me, but the figure holding him there was faced away. My overexerted mind momentarily decided to overlook the snarling figure drawing the man up higher against the wall and focus on my assailant. '<em>No red eyes, not even a demon...' <em>He wasn't Naraku. I sighed heavily, somewhat in relief but mostly upset that my inevitable wait was not over. This man was just some creep outside of a bar. He still could have hurt me, robbed me, or anything else but I was already too tired, too strained to care… he didn't matter.

"Just let him go." I whispered out brokenly.

A few moments passed but the figure before me reluctantly did as I asked, easing his relentless grip, his pale strong clawed hand unlatched from around the man's neck. The man fell and stumbled off. I listened to my assailant's hurried steps fade with distance as he faded into the night leaving me and the figure alone.

He had still not turned towards me, only continued to face the wall that he'd held the other man against, who he saved me from. And I stared at the sight offered to me, taking in his stature, his lean build… the soaked silver tresses flowing down his back. The first conclusion I came to was that this was_ not_ Inuyasha and I sucked in a cautious breath, savoring with the air the rain water from my lips. It tasted of impossibilities and so I did not believe that he was actually who he seemed to be, who I wanted him to be. I could not believe that.

The patter of the downpour hitting the concrete filled the silence as we both stood there unmoving.

There was a flash of lightning, a crash of thunder, coming together to break the solemnity, to create a storm. He used the moment to break our solemnity as well.

"My word… I did not break it." His deep velvety voice started, crawling up my spine and fastening around my heart. "I did not mean to come to you… I come here… often."

It was _him_. He was here. And I could not let my mind speak his name yet but a few things quickly made sense.

_Her knowing smiles, gentle advice, words spoken of a regular…his drink. _He was coming to the bar for the same reason as I, had been coming here often. '_How often?'_ I wondered. '_Did he need it too?' 'Was he lost too?' 'Had he realized that the drinks only relieved the grief, always masking but never fixing it, like smoothing makeup over jagged scars?'_

Still I continued to say nothing.

He shifted slightly, slowly, turning to look at me. So he wasn't just the strong one physically. I could have never faced myself facing him, had the tables been turned. His golden eyes shimmered in the light of a nearby street lamp, his pale flawless skin standing out in the dark, and his magenta stripes still slashing elegantly over his cheekbones. My hand sought to push back wet bangs from an alabaster forehead to reassure my terrified psyche that the crescent moon there was still as perfect as I remembered it to be, as it is in my dreams. But instead I was caught in confusion. _There_, it was something different. His face was not so stoic, so cold. _No,_ it was still cold, relentless even but the depths brought forth in his eyes were anything but. I could see the emotions, the longing ragging clearly in the amber voids that were now voidless, filled, warm. He was transparent, open, unlocked for me. '_Had I somehow gotten better at reading him, his expressions, since it was his face that ruled my thoughts?' 'Was he simply showing me or was he as broken down as I was that he no longer had the energy to hide them?'_

"Kagome…"

"No… stop." The words came out rushed before I even had any control over my own mouth. I loved his voice. I loved the warm tenor that heated me from the inside out, the voice that was seldom ever used in excess. It was wrong to silence him, a sin, but I knew that if we spoke right now we'd ruin it. I had not come here for him and he had not come here for me and that meant that it would not be our faults… whatever happened next. It would be fate's, and I couldn't let us talk and somehow catch the blame for something we never meant to throw. Fate had been cruel to me, to us, but maybe still… it was not always so bad after all.

I dropped my gaze from his and finished unlocking my car. When I got in and unlocked the passenger side door, I did not even have to say anything for him to get in. We didn't talk. I listened to the windshield wipers as they screeched across the glass, blurring it, smearing it like I wished to smear my lipstick over his jaw. My heart felt impossibly light, and since my weighed down bangs partially obscured my vision, I drove us to where my heart told me to go. My mind was too cloudy to listen to at the moment.

_The Neru._ I pulled to a stop just outside and stared at the building. We had not returned to this hotel after the night that I first gave myself to him. It looked just as spectacular as it did that night so long ago with the rain coming down in a mimicking repeat of times past. I was just not pondering Sesshoumaru's reasons for bringing me here this time. I'd brought us here. Fate had brought us here. We needed to be here, together.

And so we would be, at least… just this once.

…O…

Sesshoumaru let her lead him though he was a being that could not be led.

They had barely spoken, as she wanted, and their eyes had not met once from the time she'd driven from _Anraku _to _The Neru._

As the elevator rose, each floor giving way to the next, each blink of light flashing over ascending numbers, his keys grew heavier. When the familiar penthouse suite finally opened up for them, he could all but watch as she slowly brushed by him. It was tantalizing just watching her move. She was more beautiful than he could have even remembered, her sweet scent overwhelming his senses as she sauntered inside. It dawned on him that perhaps she was more powerful than he. Just her scent could almost bring him to his knees and he arched a brow at the thought but ultimately couldn't find it in himself to care if she was or not. Stepping inside, he locked the door behind them and noticed that it had been far too easy to do so, to shut them in for whatever would transpire, as if it were not just them orchestrating the events. When she shrugged off her light jacket, he took off his also.

Had he not just been reminiscing on the time that they'd had here? Reminiscing on the frantic overwhelming passion that had all but consumed him, becoming his existence since he'd first given into the lure of her soul calling out to his? It was here that their ardor had begun and she was right there, standing there again. Kagome, who was all that he'd been craving, all that he'd been able to think about since she'd begged him to stay out of her life.

She was standing just within his reach and he was aching to touch her, his beast snarling at him to do much more, urging him. Every muscle in his body tensed, shaking in an effort to keep from laying a hand upon her skin before he knew how he'd be received.

Lightning flashed outside of the large encompassing windows of the suite, illuminating her and he realized at once that dark was still permeating the room. It didn't really bother him, he was a demon and could see perfectly well. But she was human and although her eyes had probably adjusted, he still sought to lessen one of the limitations of her humanity since he could not yet take her as his to rid her of the one he truly wanted to, her short life. He slowly coaxed his tense arm to reach for the light switch.

A touch, a slightly damp delicate human hand rose to fall lightly atop his strong deadly one, and it halted his action.

_"No lights."_ Kagome's voice echoed softly up to him, her sparkling azure eyes meeting his fiery gold ones and after a few seconds he dropped his hand in silent resignation.

Moments passed and she didn't say anything, didn't clarify, only kept gazing at him and when her soft voice finally sounded, she spoke words that he'd been expecting to hear… though he hoped he wouldn't.

_"Nothing has changed..."_

She whispered, and that was true and it wasn't, was right and was wrong. Just being where they were meant something had.

_"We still can't be together."_

She added quietly though with unfaltering conviction and it was too broad of a statement, left too open, the words not clear enough. Did she mean now, or later, or never? Sesshoumaru wondered, but instead of saying that he said…

_"I know."_

And he did know. He knew that he was still married and that she would never give herself fully to him as she had before because of it, would not allow herself to get too attached, too close. He knew that if he had not happened upon her this night none of this would be happening.

But still that did not stop her from taking his clawed hand in hers, did not stop her from tugging on him to follow, did not stop him from gazing at her covetously as she led him into the bedroom. She could have led him into oblivion as long as she continued to touch him, _heated skin on heated skin._ Her cerulean orbs kept flickering back to his, burning into him, speaking the words that her mouth had not said.

Did she know he could hear them?

_'Nothing has changed… but that doesn't matter.'_

_'We still can't be together… but I need you.'_

_'Be mine again… just this once… just now… it's enough…'_

He closed his eyes briefly, thinking, understanding and then he answered her with his own silence.

_'No, it will never be enough…'_

But still he followed.

…O…

Our clothes were soaked, sticking to our skin, and heavy with the weight of water as we stood at the foot of the bed.

I leaned in for our second touch, hesitantly, hands aching for something more than hands. It became too much, the desire to push his bangs back and so I ran my shaky fingers through them, leaving my hand rested within his strands to grasp onto something real. His molten eyes closed at the touch and I eased away some of my anxiety because even in the dark, the azure moon on his forehead still looked faultless.

_"Sesshoumaru…"_

It was just one word, said so gently that my lips barely moved as I pronounced it but he shuddered… or perhaps I did, I could not be sure… it was too hard to think clearly through the haze. I was touching him, the demon who could make everything better. Could make things not just _feel _perfect…but _be_ perfect.

His amber eyes opened with a devouring slowness and set themselves on mine. Holding my gaze, he removed my hand and a claw traced the bracelet I still wore, the one he gave me. There was a low growl, a pleased sound that ushered its way from his body and into mine as he began planting burning kisses from my wrist up to my fingertips.

A tingly sensation startled me and I took a few steps towards safety… towards him, clutching on to his shoulders in an attempt to keep myself upright.

His hands glided up my neck, hot… searing my skin as they secured themselves around my jaw. Cradling my face, his smoldering golden gaze trailed as it lowered to my mouth and I felt the curl of his strong fingers just behind my ears, the lethal claw tips, the even pressure there as he brought me closer… closer still. So slow that I'd have had every opportunity to turn away, to deny him if I so chose to… I didn't. His warm breath hitting my skin could not have prepared me for his burning lips as they melded into mine.

All of my sadness, weariness, hopelessness, my fears were set ablaze. Eyes wide, I gasped at the sudden relief and he angled, pressing harder, long velvety tongue sweeping over my soft one. Flicking inside so gently, so intently, he pulled me in to him and my eyelids grew heavy. Fluttering shut with finality, I slowly tangled my tongue with his. I relished in the feel, the calm, the love that had been stifled too long, the flames that had never wanted to be smothered.

I could have this love tonight…not feel so empty. I could burn for him. '_Just tonight… just this once.'_

I made a shallow longing sound in my throat and he answered with a deep rumble that spread throughout his chest. His hands fell from my neck and made a hastened trip down my body and around my waist. Heavy hands glided up my still-clothed back, and his arms drew me to him, fingers clutching. My back arched as he led me deeper into the kiss.

The air. Around us it was too hot, heat pouring off of us in waves and filling the room but still it was essential and we'd forgotten all about it. I couldn't breathe… wanted to suffocate in his embrace that had wetness pooling between my legs, never wanted to separate but soon the need grew too strong and we broke apart. I gasped, drew in long deep breaths as I threw my head back.

Clawed fingers seized the wet lengths of black hair, keeping my head tilted back, keeping me open to him. Over my jaw, down my neck, against my collar bone I felt them. The kisses, the nips, the licks, as he growled lowly… they were all desperate and wanting. Templates for how I knew I'd soon be kissing his body, nipping him, licking him as if I too was dying of thirst.

We moved slow, savoring each other. Taking turns. A kiss met with another kiss. His heavy caress exchanged for one of my own. We both sought to make everything last. Every moment of this accident, this fateful encounter would matter more than anything else had before.

Piece by piece. Bit by bit. An undone button here… an unzipped zipper there. Clasps became unclasps. Loosening but not yet removing the barriers between us. Our shallow breaths, the soft brush of clothing, and the clacking sounds of metal belt buckles filled our ears. For some reason they echoed in my head too loud… too overpowering.

_"…Is this real?"_

_"Yes."_

Heavy fingertips and light claws –_teased_- grazing skin just at the edges of our opened clothing. We felt of still damp skin but with it, increasing heat. Deft hands made their way underneath a collar, searching, resting on powerful burning shoulders before clearing the fabric away. A silken blouse tugged, pulled up over delicate shoulders by strong tactful hands and tossed carelessly to the floor.

_"…Are you sure?"_

_"…No."_

If it wasn't real, we didn't care because then there were layers, layers upon layers. Layers of wet and thin material peeled off our forms as the layers of grief and time spent in pain peeled off with them.

I knew we'd have to put them back on… have to become like that again… have to hurt… but not right now. _No_, never right now.

Uncovered, we began the process of relearning each other. Tracing over the mounds and ridges and valleys… relearning the subtle changes that had occurred over the months. His hands trailed fire over my curves, ghosted down my sternum, down each one of my ribs and in this moment I realized I'd grown smaller… lost weight, grown more frail. '_Why hadn't I seen that before?'_ I wondered._ 'What was I becoming without him?'_

His body was unchanging, _so perfect_, _so eternal_, hot silken skin wrapped over unyielding steel but I traced my fingers over him anyway. Traced over pectorals, the hardened ridges of his abdomen, over and around powerful arms, and slowly encircled an unforgotten bellybutton _twice_. And that was my favorite part because I guess it was the little things I'd missed the most.

While my outward appearance belayed how I'd struggled, what lay inside him spoke of how he had. I could feel his power just underneath the surface of his skin but I noticed that the longer _I _touched him the stronger _he_ seemed to get. His strength, it was feeding off of me with every whispered graze of my fingers. '_I still feel weak!'_ I wanted to scream… '_I'm still not strong enough yet… I need… I need…'_

I guess he needed too… since he pulled the curve of my hips to his urgently, his hardened length pressed between us. I felt fangs run from my shoulder to the crest of my neck and I shivered, didn't want to stand anymore, _couldn't_ stand anymore. I told him.

And then I was_ falling, _for a second longer than it should have taken. Falling in love with him all over again, falling into the moment, into the fire in his eyes, on to the bed. And he was over me, shielding me… keeping me safe, protecting me from my nightmares and by the time I felt the mattress give way beneath me, I felt strong again.

His body beared down on mine powerfully and he caught my lips with his, pressing so hard, yearning. I felt something spike in me and I groaned hoarsely, pushing on the scorching heat of his chest and he let me tip us over.

Rolling, our bodies rolled as my mind spun. His slightly damp silver strands and the onyx of my own mixing and spinning with us and then I was on top of him working my way feverishly down his body, my black strands dragging behind me over the hard plains of his chest as I feasted on his perfection hungrily; down further as he lay back on the bed with amber eyes watching me; down further as I took him into my palm, grasping the hot iron waiting for me. A slow stroke and his satiny skin slid through my fingers smoothly. Above me, Sesshoumaru's fanged mouth panted.

Was I taking from him… or giving to him, the line blurred in my eyes as I licked off the slick moisture from his tip, spreading it gently over the damp head. The sensation caused his hips to jerk so suddenly, a sharp breath released from his throat, that I needed to make him do it again, loved that I could make him do it at all.

_Why hadn't I done this before? _He tasted like nothing I'd ever had… though his body was scalding, his taste was like ice and thunder and power and my mouth watered as I continued to memorize it. He was thrusting minutely, convulsing in need as I sucked and licked and swirled my tongue over and around him. The strangled noises he was making between panted breaths caused a slippery slickness to stream down my inner thighs, and I groaned deep in the back of my throat as I took more of him. At my muffled sounds of need he growled low… dangerous… untamed… wove his hands in to my hair in bliss and tugged, his eyes clenched shut. When I looked up and I saw that his usually expressionless face was not impassive, not concealing his pleasure, it was a vision so forbidden that I unintentionally swallowed.

And then the world tumbled and I was dizzy… dizzy, _so dizzy_ and on my back again. Needy clawed fingers were grasping my thighs urgently, pulling me open, and strong sculpted arms were dragging me, sliding my body down the sheets, bringing me to meet him until I could feel his breath curling over my wet warmth. I shut my eyes in anticipation.

He was breathing me in so deeply, longingly. His eyelids lowered, the golden depths growing fogged. One hand released a thigh and a clawed thumb dazedly traced circles against the soft skin there. Open mouthed languid kisses trailed down the other thigh slowly, getting closer, finding me, and then a long velvety tongue lazily swept its way through my moistened folds.

I cried out, hips rocking. My head inclined, looking back at the head board as he continued slow and tortuous, lapping away at me, clouding over my mind. It was so good, _too good._ My body was trembling, my breathing growing labored as he reacquainted himself with my core. I could no longer keep my eyes open and I sobbed aloud my pleasure as he began suckling on a certain bundle of nerves, electrifying me from my fingertips to my curling toes. My thighs shivered.

The rhythmic movements of his rough and agile tongue were left to all but drive all my cares from my mind. And then I felt the fire begin to rage. He was bringing me close, close to the precipice, close to the abyss, just at the edge.

_"Ah…"_ I moaned out breathlessly as my eyes snapped open. _"Ohhh.."_ I could feel it. "_So close- so—so close."_

And then he reached up and grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine, clenching on tight, holding on to me with unyielding passion and I leaped and let myself plummet into the fire. My body shuddered and I moaned loudly as I reached my peak. I stayed there, stuck in limbo, eyes glazed over with pleasure, my purity tingling… surging, wrapping around our forms in an erratic caress. _'My powers only accept him' _I thought distantly.

Dazedly, I felt Sesshoumaru's hand letting go, his weight settling over me again. One hand burrowed its way underneath my shoulder, grasping me as the other one made its way under my head. Trapped beneath the silky silver curtain of now dried tresses cascading over his shoulders, he brought my lips to his, pressing, just as I was coming down off my high.

It was a firm, searing, burning kiss that tasted of my own nectar and in the haze I felt one hard muscled thigh place itself between my legs. And though I'd just come down, I couldn't wait to reach my peak again. Abruptly, he snatched my bottom lip between his teeth, his fangs, grazing over it… pulling with the sharp points… not hard enough to break skin but still hard enough to make me gasp against his mouth and scrap my nails down his quivering chest.

His fangs unlatched, head rolling back with a deep throaty growl as he instinctively rocked his hips forward. His burning erection pressed into my thigh and I remembered at once that we were not done… _could not_ be done. He was _so_ hard and I never thought I could have wanted anything more than I wanted him at that moment.

Pressure mounted and in the space between my thighs a scorching hot _ache _began to grow_. I was so empty. _I felt my breath hitch in my throat. _'I don't have to be empty, not anymore… not tonight.'_

_"_Please_… More."_

I begged the godly figure looming over me, the man…the demon I loved, the one that I _could_ love right now… the one that I _would_ love right now with no limitations.

…O…

Sesshoumaru slowly looked back down at her as she lay sprawled out underneath him. She looked incredible, her long midnight tresses spread out over the cool bedding, the flushed look to her lightly sun-kissed skin, the slightly parted pouty lips that trembled with her shallow breathing. If she wanted more, he would give her more. He wanted to give her everything.

It didn't matter to him that she was only allowing this the one night. He would value it in the many hard days to come as if it was his life line. She _was_ his life line and he wouldn't stop until she was his forever. Even thinking of waiting ten years, well eight and a half more, to take her as his was impossible. He would find a way, sooner rather than later for both their sakes.

Unable to stop himself, he disentangled his hand from her ebony locks and lowered it between them, trailing whispering claws down her lavish flesh. His hand converged with the heat radiating off of her core and he lethargically took the back of one finger and rubbed it against her soft dampness. She bit her lip and moaned and he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, basking in the sounds of her need for him. She sounded too sweet, too intoxicating.

He needed to hear more of it, hadn't heard it in so long. He shifted his body, digging one elbow firmly in the mattress at her side while his lowered hand glided up the back of her thigh, pressing outward, parting her for him. He was so hard that it_ hurt_ and so close to being drawn in, so close to being buried in her heat. He growled lowly, _wanting._

She shuddered and he met her radiant sapphire gaze as familiar words slipped.

_"Is this what you want Kagome?"_

His voice was rough at the edges, ragged, coming apart at the seams, and so coated in his need that the question dripped from his lips but he couldn't help but ask what he had that first time. He wasn't just reliving it, craving it. He would have her again, his Kagome.

All she had to do was say yes.

…O…

'_Is this what you want Kagome?'_ I heard him ask through the fog, over the blood rushing in my ears, over the pounding inside my ribs and I desired so badly to say yes, that it was exactly what I wanted, that he was all I'd ever wanted but as I moved to speak the words snagged and caught in my throat.

My mind reeled, spinning and tipping over as I lost myself in the burning embers of his molten orbs gazing down at me. They were half-lidded, needy and soft, so otherworldly that they were distant and yet so familiar, so coveted that they couldn't have been held any closer to my heart.

Suddenly I remembered that this would really only be one night. I would have to lose him again, would have to tear myself from the safety of those burning depths, out of the fire to return to a bitter chill of loneliness and my heart _ached _of the future, _ached_ of tomorrow, a heaviness settling deep within my chest.

Perhaps he read my mind, knew that only he could bring me back into the flames, into the moment and out of the future, out of my fear because he lowered his head, letting his rough tongue swirl, his fangs trace white-hot trails up my throat, a hungry mouth pressed burning lips over the flutter of my pulse.

And then he was pulling back from me, _leaving me_ and it hurt so much worse that in protest my mind rotated, turned, and set back upright again.

_"No."_ I moaned desperately, greedy hands reaching up to grip his powerful shoulders, to bring him back to me, as my free leg hooked around his waist. _"I-I… Yes, I want this."_

He clenched his eyes closed, groaned in pleasure, the hand on my thigh urging me wider, claws pricking my skin. I felt the head of his erection nudge between my folds.

And then he was pushing forward, narrow hips descending, pouring in agonizingly slow and filling up the space, the months we'd spent apart, with the scorching satin stretch of himself.

He pressed and I opened wide, tilting, and let him in. His face buried itself in the crook of my neck, tattered breaths heating my skin, and I could feel him trembling, myself trembling, the moment trembling until finally after one_ long_ luxurious thrust he was inside, resting within me.

The overwhelming pressure of his thick hard weight made my insides quiver in contentment and my outsides clench more firmly to him.

We remained unmoving, tangled into each other, to the feel of each other, as we tried to grow accustomed to the delight of our delicious spread. Our shallow ragged draws of breath sucked heated air into our lungs and knowledge into our minds of the inevitably desired bliss waiting just around the corner.

Eagerly, I squirmed just a tad beneath him, backing away and pressing in. Sharp sparks licked me up, consuming, from the place where we joined. I moaned softly and then he was moving.

With a strangled noise, he pulled out, mouth falling open in pleasure, my walls still gripping, before pushing forward again with a gasp.

And then there was a rhythm, a slow rhythm, an overwhelming rhythm as he endlessly rolled out and rocked back in.

I became enthralled by the shifting of muscles that rode down the waves of his hips rocking. The back and forth, in and out, the urgent, deep roll of his slow hips reached through my body to grab my mind and hypnotize me. I grew obsessed, engrossed in watching the soft sway of his silver bangs shift in tandem with his movements, slow and graceful, the whispering strands of silk on his forehead caressing the crescent there.

And then there were things his movements were doing to me…

Sending shivers up my spine and a tingling heat down through my bones.

A sinuous shock that burned in my clenching fingers, and lingered in my curling toes.

I rode the gentle waves of rapture, meeting his every thrust of ecstasy with one of mine.

And as he filled me with a passion that only he and I could ever know, I could no longer hold my tongue, could not deny my heart the chance to speak of its own accord.

I found myself letting go of his shoulders, twining an arm around his neck, running my fingers through the cool silken hair at his nape. Lifting and burying my face into the heat of his throat, leaning closer, closer still to his ear, my lips barely brushed over a lobe. And I whispered softly, my voice filled with all that I felt for him.

_"I love you."_

And for a moment he faltered and stopped, still pressed firmly inside me and I eased my grip and lowered my head back down to the bed.

Looking up, a needy expression flitted across his face and the depths in his amber eyes changed, grew, and opened to me. I could see _everything._

Everything swam in his golden pools, my future, his past, our never and our always, what was true and what never would be so and then he caught my lips with his, pressing gently, melding them together. I felt my soul latch to his with the love he poured into our kiss and then with a deep groan against my mouth he drew back _– so slow-_ coiling around my life _– our lives-_ and took them with him.

My lips parted in panic against his but then he pushed forward again, parting me, filling me up so fast that I saw the world blink in and out, watched it flutter and then explode.

I arched slowly in pleasure, my head drawing back as I gasped, my eyes growing wide in revelation. He rolled his hips, thrusting into me just as fast a few more times and then he drew me up, clawed hands finding the arch of my back, arms lifting, raising me and tugging my legs around his waist as he rocked back on his knees.

He surged upwards. Every thrust shattered and put my pieces back together, every rock of his hips was one of renewal. My back was still arched, I gazed up at the ceiling, _through_ the ceiling, and found myself in a place that only he could bring me to, a place that I wanted to hide away in and crawl into forever.

His large hands climbed further up my back, drawing me in, and I frantically folded my body into his as he curled his into mine.

My hands desperately clutched onto his back, fingers tangled into his hair, legs clenched around his waist and I could feel the hard muscles rippling underneath the satin skin of his rising thighs as his hips thrust up into mine relentlessly.

He was panting and I was panting and I moaned into his ear, telling him I loved him over and over again, leaving open mouthed kisses over the piece of stripe running into his hair.

Heavy breaths, low growls, and the sound of my hungry heart pounded loudly in my head and I bit down on his shoulder with blunt teeth, seeking relief. I could feel the clenching of his jaw, the claws lengthening on my back, his growls rumbling from deeper in his chest as he groaned out my name.

_"Kagome."_

It came out throatier, ragged -_ feral_ and I pulled back some as something in my lower abdomen tightened pleasantly at hearing my name rumbled so lowly from within him. The magenta stripes on his cheeks were thickening, running jagged lines over his skin; his bared fangs grew sharper, deadlier; his eyes bleeding over in a cloud of red, no longer a smoldering gold but a blazing crimson.

And the look of him sent a cold pleasurable shiver through me, made my toes curl even tighter. I loved him like this, the unleashed raw power. I could feel myself clenching around him more fiercely as he drove into me harder, deeper, recklessly.

My bones shuddered behind the intensity of his thrusts and it was blissful torture. And I could see it coming again. The precipice, my end, my completion was nearing and I couldn't breathe, couldn't draw in enough air into my needy lungs. The room was tipping, my mind was spinning, the world was snapping around us, shifting and closing us into this moment together and I felt his arms grip me tighter just before the pressure grew too much and I screamed.

Bursting at the seams as I came, a bright light exploded in my head, and I grew beautifully blind as my powers flooded in and drowned me. His aura surged up in reaction to mine, pushing his own bone shattering release and they mingled, and fought, his aura dominating me as I could feel his essence, his hot liquid coating my insides. A snarl was torn from his lips and my eyesight came back just in time to see a vision of crimson orbs focusing a feral gaze onto the juncture between my neck and shoulder.

His mouth was open wide, lengthened fangs glistening, and even as my mind was still clouded over in rapture I knew what he was going to do.

_"Sesshoumaru... no..."_

I whispered out between pleasure heightened breaths and his orbs flickered back to my blue ones, holding my gaze, focusing, and then he bowed his head, forehead falling into my shoulder helplessly, and howled. It was deep and unearthly and though it still held the lasting pleasure of his release it also held a sickening heartwrenching pain that shattered my heart and brought stinging tears to my eyes.

We came down slowly off our highs and stayed there, melded together, limbs wrapped, holding each other.

And the night and the world and fate still bore down and closed around us.

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><p>Word Count: 6037<p>

_A.N: I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter because I put a lot into it. I'd been waiting/anticipating writing it since I broke them up. :)_

_Oh and you guys know how I feel about getting reviews for long chapters ;). The more the merrier!_

_-E.C._


	23. Chapter 23: Until Morning Comes

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 23: Until Morning Comes**

_AN: __Warning: Do not read if you are uncomfortable with sexually explicit content. Lemon._

_Once again, thank you to my beta White Luna!_

* * *

><p><em>He looked eerily stunning as he slept, almost so striking that you forgot that you were not breathing as you looked up on him. His ethereal form sunken into the bed, otherworldly eyes shut to the universe, peace effectively wrapped around his regal features. The scene was a contradiction, an enigma, too sacred for words. It was almost wrong for someone as dangerously powerful as he was to be so calm and asleep. It was a scene that I could watch forever… if we had more than just this night.<em>

It was still dark outside, still our night, and the rain had not yet ceased to fall though it had grown weaker in intensity. I could hear it lightly pattering against the balcony of the suite and for some reason I was feeling the need to distance myself from him. Well, it was not so much feelings that wanted me to but my mind that knew I should. My feelings would have had me smother myself in the peace that he could give me, the comfort that his embrace even in sleep would allow. My feelings would have allowed me to let him mate me.

But that couldn't happen yet and for just a moment I knew I needed to go out in the rain. Maybe the drops could cleanse away my current quandary, my confusion, because even though I knew we shouldn't have I was very much regretting saying no.

We had gotten so close to turning this night into a lifetime and though I desperately wanted that, wanted to have my life tied to his forever, wanted to become his mate, I knew that this was not the time. This was just a reprieve from our pain, one night, one fateful night where we could give into our whims, one night where we could share in our forbidden love with no regrets and no blame for we had never meant it to happen in the first place. It was a night that would be pardoned by fate and I really needed to remind myself of that because my heart and the dry salty trails on my cheeks so badly desired that I see things differently.

My heart, still shattered from having to deny him, deny us, what it was we had both wanted in that bright moment of revelation, was aching in my chest, urging me to patch the emptiness in myself with the bond I knew I craved with the being laying before me.

His insistent crimson gaze coupled with the glint of his fangs, that instant, it had been so intense how bad he needed me, how bad I needed him as our auras, our souls, merged resolutely, awaiting what was supposed to happen next. It took all the power I'd had in me to speak such a simple word as no, to tell him not to, to urge him not to make me his and he mine for all eternity.

I could still remember his chilling primal howl, so haunting and beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes, and how urgently we continued to cling to each other after the instant was over, after we had both come down from our highs. His eyes had remained red, stripes still jagged, as his sharply clawed hands gripped onto me possessively. He may have drawn blood, but it had been okay then. I'd needed to know he was still there. The slight pain kept me lucid, only soothed me.

I'm not sure what it had been like for him, but for me it'd felt like without having made the bond we would be relinquishing each other to darkness, ourselves into darkness were we to let go. It was an ominous feeling that terrified me beyond reason, so full of trepidation, that even when we finally managed to untangle ourselves within reason from around one another, I could not bear to remain more than a second's grasp away. It was how we fell asleep, still holding on as if in assurance that the other would not ebb from this world and vanish when we closed our eyes.

Now, that feeling had died down some. I'd awakened content in knowing that he could not just disappear and by the peaceful look on his face, his magenta stripes straightly slashing his cheeks again, I assumed he had somehow come to that same conclusion while in the midst of sleep as well. His sculpted arm though, was still looped around my waist and my hand was still resting reassuringly on his chest… just in case.

Tentatively, I removed my hand. The warm silken feel beneath my palm of taut alabaster skin wrapped over hard muscle was replaced by the cool silken bedding. And gingerly, I slowly unlooped his arm from around me, his claws grazed over my skin, and placed it gently just in front of his body. I gave his beautiful face one more glance to check if he was still sleeping. His thin eyebrows had drawn inward, furrowed in consternation, so I kissed him softly over the crescent adorning his brow, gently pushing back the wisps of silver bangs. It amazed me that the peaceful expression once again washed over his face and so I kissed him once more there before getting up as quietly as I could.

I took one of the forgotten sheets from off the wooden floor and began to wrap it around my body. We'd had no need for sheets in our slumber, the heat we gave off for each other was far more than enough to keep us warm. The soft pads of my feet against the cool wood of the floor led me to the balcony door and I glanced back at the bed again momentarily, making sure I'd not been wrong in deducing he could not simply vanish. I sighed a gentle breath at the sight of him still laying there. His sculpted back was towards me, the light silk of his silver mane fanned around his form, splayed over his strong shoulder. His legs were tucked somewhat underneath him and there was a gentle rise and fall to his body that I could make out as his breathing.

I opened the glass door and took a step out, one foot meeting the cold wet balcony ground before the other joined it. I didn't bother to shut the door since this would only take a second. I just needed to remember my resolve. This was to be only one night but that was near impossible to heed while being so close to him.

I let the light raindrops sooth over my skin to roll down quietly and much to my chagrin a few tears slipped from my eyes again mixing with them. For a short time I cried silently for the both of us as I gazed over the railing of the balcony. The streets, the buildings, the view I had of the city lights before me were as breathtaking as our night had been. I would never take this night back, never regret it. It had been wonderful, had been everything that it was supposed to be but I couldn't help but want more.

"Couldn't we have more than just one night?" I questioned softly to everything and nothing all at once. The raindrops, the darkness, the city, and anything else that cared to listen to the pained words brought on by the twisting ache in my chest. I didn't expect a reply, had prepared to welcome the unforgiving silence that I knew was sure to come but then a velvety voice reached my ears, twining around me just as the sheets had.

…O…

_"Couldn't we have more than just one night?"_

Sesshoumaru heard her voice whisper.

He'd awoken the moment she'd stepped out of the room and though his first instinct was to immediately gather her up and bring her back to him, he refrained upon detecting the faint scent of her salty tears despite the rain's attempts to wash them away.

He could surmise why it was she was crying.

It had been far harder to control his beast than he'd originally presumed it would be. All it had taken was for her to whisper in his ear those three simple words and he'd nearly lost himself. All his plans of taking her slow and gently had promptly flown out the window. He didn't know why hearing her moan that she loved him had him fighting off his feral side but it did. And when she bit him… when her blunt human teeth latched on to him where his beast could not wait to sink his fangs into her, his eyes had bled red as the last stitch of his control slipped away.

And then he'd started it, pressing her, drawing out her aura as he forced her into release. He felt her powers surge around them in her ecstasy and his body jerked fiercely as he spilled into her, his domineering youki, his own powerful aura, rising up to claim hers. Had it taken any shorter time to subjugate her aura into submission, she'd have not had the time to stop him. She would have been his and he, hers.

Her soft voice was the only thing that could have stopped him at that moment. Even taken over by his primal side he could still not ignore her plea.

Drawing back from mating her had been the hardest thing he'd ever done and not only because he was denying himself what he wanted_, _but because the pain of doing so had been excruciating. It was dangerous to discontinue mating her, having made it so far, to the brink. They were already half-connected, their auras joined as one.

Physically, as he drew back his veins were on fire, his insides burning as his body shook and tensed trying to acclimate itself back to normal.

Mentally, as the beginning of the bond they'd begun to make ebbed away, he'd felt like he'd lost her. Like they'd mated and she'd died and suddenly it was like he'd clawed a gaping hole in his own chest and then he'd sank before her and howled.

He knew he'd had to have left scars on her back, from the way that he'd been clutching onto her, challenging fate or the gods or anyone else to try and take her from him but he hadn't been able to help it at the time and with the way she'd grasped onto him, he assumed she had felt it also.

Even though the taxing feeling had died down in slumber, it had still not faded completely yet. Her tears proved she was feeling the lingering ache as well.

Could they have more than just one night? Sesshoumaru repeated her softly spoken question to himself as he strolled across the cool wooden floor towards the balcony. Yes, of course they could. She would not ache much longer he decided resolutely and he would have what he desired. The next time his beast rose to claim her, which he was vaguely positive would not be again this night… the events had left him more drained than he'd admit, she would have no reason to stop him.

But right here and now… for the rest of this night, he would not let his chosen mate feel any sadness or grieve any of the days apart that had yet to come and so he answered her question.

"If we were to have only one night, we would make the best of it."

…O…

_'We'd make the best of it?'_

I replayed his words in my head. I was sure that they were meant to be comforting but they were spoken so effortlessly, the statement too simple, so straightforward that it could have only been said by someone who was too sure of himself, too sure of everything. The statement was so Sesshoumaru that I let a small smile ease its way onto my lips. I suppose he was right in the end, we had made the best of it after all.

I continued to look out over the city as his overwhelming presence drew closer to me. I felt his powerful arms wrap securely around my waist before pulling me back against him. The heat of his bare chest seeped through the sheet draped across my back even as cool raindrops continued running down my front. The opposing sensations made me shiver and he leisurely buried his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply.

"You should not be out here in the rain Kagome." He reprimanded me, no edge to his tone, his smooth voice carried with it a hint of uncharacteristic softness and I let my head loll back gently on his chest.

"I know…" I answered simply, my eyes drawn from the city to one of the striped arms holding me. I marveled at how delicately the wet drops crashed into his flawless skin, "I thought you were sleeping." I added breathlessly.

He nuzzled deeper into my hair.

"You were gone. I awoke." He said evenly as his arms tightened further around me.

"Sesshoumaru…" I started as my body grew tense, my voice weak and hesitant. I wanted to tell him that I would be gone for real in the morning, that he should start getting use to the idea of me not being there again as I would have to get use to him not being there also. But he cut me off as though he knew what I was going to say.

"Let us not bother with trivialities Kagome." His dark velvety smooth voice danced across the skin of my neck, "The night is not over yet." He added and his hot breath teased me, goose bumps raised in the wake of his words.

"No…" I replied back anxiously, letting my full weight rest against him. "I guess not."

And then he picked me up, cradling me against his chest, in his arms, the sheet falling from my body, and I shut my eyes as he brought me back into the suite. I assumed that I'd feel the soft cool silken sheets of the bed but he was taking too many steps, we'd been just outside of the bedroom. I was curiously baffled when he laid me down on something too soft and too plush so I opened my eyes and was surprised to find myself easing back against the plush rug on the floor of the living room.

We were exactly where we'd taken each other the first time, in our frantic passion, where the heat of our flames had first engulfed us. I ran my fingers through the white furry rug lovingly and then I looked up at him as he settled down beside me.

We both lay there, heads turned looking into each other's eyes silently, nostalgically for a while and for old times sake I began trying to match the rhythm of my breathing to his as I'd often done in the past. He blinked once slowly, drawing me out of remembrance, and then he spoke.

"Just as our first night here was not our last, I would no sooner allow this to be." He said evenly, slowly, letting the words sink in. "You will be mine forever… soon."

I listened and my heart fluttered at the declaration but my lips parted to interject that he could not make such a promise to me. There was so much I'd not told him, our one night left little time to speak of other matters. He did not know about Naraku, that he was looking for me again, that he could hurt me in our time apart. To Sesshoumaru, Naraku was still pain from my past, a memory that he could shield me against. He didn't understand that though he was virtually immortal, I could die so easily, so soon if certain things were to come to pass, maybe sooner than it would take him to keep his promise. I opened my mouth to protest his words but then he stopped me, a clawed finger resting gently on my lips.

"I give you my word Kagome." His deep baritone assured.

And that's all it took. It was the resolution, the resolve in his gaze, the determination in what was no longer just words or a promise but a spoken truth and I let my protests die on my lips as I captured his with mine. No matter what it took, his words assured me that even if he had to shift heaven and hell only to shift them back again, I would be his… and soon. I felt overwhelmed with happiness, with contentment, and as always when around him, with desire as well.

We continued our passionate kiss as I moved, our hands gliding over one another's skin in reverence. I drew my body up, straddling his hips, breaking our kiss only as I eased back and lowered, taking his already hard length into my already moist cavern because it seemed our bodies did not know how to be unready for each other.

His hands played across my thighs as I slid slowly down his shaft, every inch sending sparks through my nerves to shoot into his. When I finally came to a stop, reaching the hilt, him hitting something buried deeply within me that already made me shudder, I looked down at him. He was beautiful underneath me, powerful and vulnerable, tamed and wild, untouchable but oh-so-touchable for my fingertips only and I splayed my hands across his burning chest. Our gazes remained locked.

And then I felt his hands grip my thighs and pull my legs wider. I inhaled a sharp breath as he somehow drove deeper, at the feeling of being completely full, at the feeling of having him and a low growl vibrated underneath my palms from within his chest.

"Move." With one word his deep voice urged me and I had no qualms, I had to.

I pressed down on his heated torso, raising my lower body, easing myself up his hard satin length, inner walls gripping him up to his tip before descending to fill me up again.

I bit my lip and he groaned, hands moving to place themselves firmly on my hips, and then I couldn't stop moving, kept raising myself only to slide down again. The deep slow up and down rhythm, soon had me panting, had his mouth falling open, his fangs peaking from behind parted lips, and still we both refused to break our gaze.

He was tugging at me, eyes tugging at my soul and I returned the favor as his burning fiery gold remained locked on my boiling blues. His strong hands began urging me faster, claws pricking the sensitive skin of my hips as his powerful arms pushed me down on him harder.

A groan, a gasp, a strangled moan and I couldn't tell which ones came from who's lips but his legs were moving behind me, knees bending, feet planting themselves firmly down and his back was arching underneath me in want. His thrusts moved upwards even as gravity pulled me down and I was burning, out of breath, could hardly think. The only thought left to run through my head was that he was mine,_mine_, only mine tonight and soon mine forever.

The whispered possessive thought somehow found its way leaving my lips and he clenched his eyes closed, breaking our gaze for the first time as he moaned and flipped us over.

I could feel the soft plush rug against my back and hot friction from where the hard plains of his chest rubbed against mine as he thrust in and out of me. Each of my delicate hands was laced with one of his powerful ones, trapped above my head as his open mouth grazed up and down my throat.

His hot breath against my skin, the fangs nipping my jaw, the deep growls vibrating through me, it was all so much, _too _much. The heat was burning me raw and then he was moving slower, endless and long, angling himself in me, sending a spiraling pleasure through my limbs with every deep overpowering thrust and _someone_ was moaning._ I_ was moaning I realized.

We both succumbed to our passion, and he rocked his hips, groaning greedily, growling deeply, until I came in a daze, surging and bursting around him. And then I rocked my hips for him, heart pounding, mouth moaning, until he did the same, hot and thick, pouring into me.

And then we shifted and did it again, me on my hands and knees with him kneeling behind me. It was rough and frantic, full of unbridled need. He met release as I hungrily sucked the length of a clawed fingertip.

And then we shifted once more for good measure, laying down, him still behind me, inside me and moving slowly even as he pulled my body back into his softly. When I met release that time it was as he gently kissed up the groove of my spine.

And over and over again we shifted and continued, taking from each other, giving to each other until the first hint of the sun peaked over the city and through the encompassing windows of our penthouse suite.

And then… even then… as our night turned over into someone else's morning we made love one more time… just in case.

…O…

"Kagome!" Sango screamed lunging at me as I walked through the threshold of our apartment, locking the door behind me. "Where were you? The police said I had to wait 24 hours before I could report you as a missing person! I was so worried!"

I'd almost forgotten that someone would have been worried about me, gone all night like I was. It was the only thing that I could bring myself to feel bad for or be sad about.

I'd kissed Sesshoumaru goodbye after we'd shared a hot shower, washing each other, memorizing our forms, and then dried off to get back into our clothes. When I left _The Neru _wearing the wrinkled garments I realized that I'd been wrong the night before, wearing them, dressing and parting from him, didn't leave me feeling any less light than I was. I wasn't hurting, as amazing as that was. I actually felt happy. I knew everything was going to turn out fine, even though I didn't know exactly when or how, but I had faith that it would and that was something I hadn't felt in months… maybe even years, faith in what the fates had in store for me.

"Sango, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to worry you." I said biting my lip as I wrapped my arms around her. "I was just… out. I should have let you know."

She pulled back from me. "I thought that—that maybe that demon had…"

I shook my head at her before she could finish. "Nope." I said smiling at her genuinely, "As you can see I'm perfectly fine. No Naraku scars, no harm done."

Her eyebrow shot up incredulously as she eyed me with a suspicious glare. "Have you been out drinking all night?"

And I laughed, somewhat because that very well could have happened.

"No, I'm sober." I replied back.

Her eyebrow inched a little higher at that. I suppose I hadn't been completely sober in quite a while.

"Really, I am!" I promised and she finally seemed to believe me, a small smile gracing her lips.

"Well whatever happened last night—and I'm expecting you to fill me in at some point by the way—you should do it more often."

"Sure thing Sango." I answered, smiling anew at the thought of being able to spend every night in Sesshoumaru's arms.

She started to walk away then, back to her bedroom before she called over her shoulder at me.

"But let me know next time, so I don't go thinking you've been miko-knapped!"

And I laughed again at her antics, my heart never having felt so light.

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><p>Word Count: 4011<p>

_A.N: And I think this is one of the only chapters that ends with Kagome being happy. It's almost strange isn't it? lol._

_btw, the lemon scene was originally way shorter and far less explicit. I didn't go all out like the last chapter but I hope you guys liked it anyway._

_Don't forget to leave me a review! Reviews= A Happy E.C. =D_

_-E.C._


	24. Chapter 24: The Reflection in my Vanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 24: The Reflection in my Vanity**

_A.N. Firstly, this happens to be a slightly shorter chapter but I couldn't have you guys waiting any longer right? =)_

_Secondly, TSOBV was nominated for three categories in the 2011 4th quarter Dokuga Awards** and WON joint third place best Sesshoumaru portrayal!** I'm so happy =D. Thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for it! I love you guys._

_Thirdly, **Warning**: Dark content and sexually explicit content (although hopefully not in incredibly descriptive detail) is in this chapter._

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><p>"What do you mean you forgot?"<p>

That was the first thing to manage to get even remotely under my skin since my night with Sesshoumaru. Two weeks had passed and for the most part I'd found myself still living blissfully content in the days since. I sighed, for all the good heart Inuyasha had, he could be such a bother sometimes.

"Inuyasha you've been in and out of this apartment in the last two weeks and you never even brought it up again. How could you expect me to remember?"

He turned away from me making a dismissive noise in his throat, crossing his suit-clad arms as he continued to stand in my living room stubbornly. Apparently he wasn't willing to budge, insisting for me to accompany him to a function I barely even remembered agreeing to go to. Inuyasha could be much _more_ than a bother actually but he had still been a great friend when I'd been going through everything that I had been and I knew I owed him a lot.

"Stop your huffing, I said that I'd go and I will," I said getting off my comfortable couch, wearing my comfortable lounging clothes. I'd been looking forward to a calm relaxing day but it seemed that it just wasn't meant to be. "You really should have reminded me though. You're lucky I didn't have to work today," I smiled at him.

"Yeah… well, my driver's waiting downstairs for us so hurry up." Even as he said it I could catch the tension leaving his body, the small grateful smile the flickered on his lips. I guess he really didn't want to go alone. I gave him one last reassuring smile as I headed into my bedroom to change clothes. I supposed that I 'd have to wear makeup and do my hair nicely too.

When I opened my closet I remembered exactly what kind of function I'd agreed to go to and groaned. I didn't even have to glance very hard at the clothes inside to know I didn't have anything nearly nice enough to wear. '_Why did I agree to go to this thing again?'_I asked myself as I rummaged through the less-than flashy items. '_I'm going to look like a poor girl on a rich man's arm and of course Inuyasha would forget to remind me… I would've saved some money from my paycheck to buy something nice.'_

Sighing, and just about ready to skip over picking out my clothes to instead attend to my hair, my eyes caught on to pale yellow silk hanging discreetly behind the jumble of other less-expensive fabric. Pulling out the dress slowly and running my hands over the smooth cloth, I placed it on my bed and continued to just stare down at it.

I'd forgotten about it. I guess I'd tried to forget about the day it had come into my possession in the first place. It was the one that Kagura had bought me, the dress that Sesshoumaru's wife had purchased. I couldn't possibly wear it though… could I?

Turning my back on the dress for now, I walked over to sit down at my vanity. It was the most beautiful furniture that I had and I ran my fingers over it longingly. It was a cherry wood piece that was crafted lovingly by my father for my mother, and one of the only things my mother had refused to sell before we'd been forced to move into the shrine of my grandfather after my father's death… murder, I mentally corrected.

Sitting down, and staring into the vanity mirror I grabbed my eyeliner and began encircling the water-line of the pools of blue that stared back at me. I couldn't help reflecting on how they'd served their role in aiding the destruction of my youth. They were the first things that Naraku had noticed about me.

..O..

I was 15, naïve and overly-optimistic when I had the displeasure of setting my eyes on Naraku Nigamura, or rather when I'd had the misfortune of having his eyes set on me. I was at my father's shop at the time, helping him set up. It was his new business; he'd always enjoyed crafting, building things. And while he'd practiced as a lawyer for much of my life, he'd always spoken so fondly of the times when he was young, when he and his father had handcrafted most of the furniture at the shrine he grew up at. He'd said that crafting reminded him of simpler times. He'd said it was the one thing that while doing it, he was completely at peace with himself, it was the one thing he loved to do as much as he loved my mother.

He was always saying things like that. About how much he loved us, my mother, little brother, and me, giving me advice, and urging me to go for my dreams. It was part of the reason that my priestess powers had gone untrained, because my father didn't want my future to be made up for me. He didn't want for his little girl to feel as though she had to become a part of the special department of monks and priestesses charged with keeping the peace between humans and demons. But I guess he'd finally realized he couldn't really ask me to follow my dreams when he hadn't followed his. After a small move and a long talk with our family, he quit practicing law and opened up his store. I'd never seen him more content. We were all happy that he was happy.

To this day I cannot fathom how incredibly wrong it was for Naraku Nigamura to have been one of his first customers. How twisted and upsetting it was for him have taken such a keen and dark interest, in what my father purely made.

I'd walked out of the backroom only to be halted by a shiver that ran up my spine, by a mental cringe I had no control over. I dropped one of the tools I'd been carrying, the loud clang bringing attention to my presence. I scurried to try and pick it up and get out of sight but it had already been too late. My fate had already been sealed… my father's too.

My father's eyes shifted to me but those were not the eyes that forced my body into tensing in apprehension. Naraku's crimson orbs were hard and heated. The gaze he leveled me with, full of intrigue.

I was holding my breath as my father smiled and introduced me as his daughter, as he introduced his new customer as Mr. Nigamura. Naraku wasted no time placing himself further into my father's good graces.

"If you're going to be making such a special piece for me Higurashi, you can surely refer to me as Naraku," he stated without ever taking his eyes off me. He finished the statement with what I was sure was meant to be a smile but only seemed to me to be a predatory grin. His voice, and that smile…I felt my stomach flop, my organs twist deeply in my gut, as an urgent foreboding crept it's way to settle down in the back of my head.

I could feel my powers flaring already, powers that for most of my young life had stayed dormant, not that I hadn't met youkai before, I had. I suppose I'd just never met one like him.

It should have been a bigger warning than I'd allowed it to be but I was young and incapable of forethought. I didn't want to upset this man who was taking an interest in my father's work, no matter how uneasy I felt around him. I struggled to stamp down my powers as he offered his clawed hand to me in greeting.

I know I burned him, saw the blood red of his eyes flash darkly but he merely smiled that un-smile a little wider before letting go and turning to my father again.

"You're daughter has such strange eyes," Naraku's dark voice said as though I wasn't still standing there. "From your wife's side I presume?"

My father proudly explained about our bloodline of monks and mikos, and how the blue of my eyes was an inherited trait passed down through generations to those of us with power. Naraku nodded as if I hadn't just burned him, as if he hadn't already learned what I was. It was like he wanted me to know of the deception, of his game.

Before leaving and taking his sinister aura with him, Naraku spoke again of the dark oak chest he was commissioning from my father. He said that if he was happy with it he'd surely be coming back for more pieces in the future. His red eyes flickered to me once more before he left and somehow at that moment I knew that he'd be coming back again in the future… despite how he felt about the chest.

I was right. Naraku kept coming back, kept making more insistent appearances, and while I tried to avoid him by lessening my time spent at my father's shop, it became hard when he began getting closer to my father outside of his business.

Before long he was coming to our house, eating with my mother, my little brother, my entire family for dinners. He loved settling his blood colored, blood chilling eyes on everything in our home, especially me.

No one else could feel it, could feel the darkness that poured off of him behind his false facade, that threatened to strangle me and smother out my light. No one could sense anything… except for me and him and I think that was part of his game too. Part of the thrill he felt in pressing his dark aura against me as he conversed innocently with my mother.

I should have told then, should have let someone know. I wonder how differently things could have turned out I had. But I didn't. And then it was too late.

I remember waking up abruptly to something clasping over my mouth, sharp pains prickling in my cheeks.

"I've been watching you," I heard a deep voice in my ear, and finally registered the shadowy form bearing down on me. I was in my home, my bedroom, my little brother one room away, my parents only three doors down as Naraku's hungry red gaze burned into me.

"I'm tired of playing Miko," he whispered to me, the words curling in my ears. "I can't take you teasing me anymore."

My eyes grew wide and I could just make out his grin as I tried to force him off of me, tried to scream, tried to squirm out of his grasp. But his body was too heavy, the clawed hand over my mouth too strong and muffling my cries.

My powers flared strongly and he groaned as he started slashing down my night clothes with his other hand. Where he slashed, his claws caught my skin, and my powers would surge again as I screamed behind his firm fingers.

When he felt I was bare and bloody enough to his gaze, he stopped and my powers receded back.

"I loved that Kagome," His voice came out breathless and husky and I whimpered and tried to shake my head no as I felt his claws grazing up my inner thigh. "I knew you were perfect. I knew it would feel like that."

He wasn't gentle. His claws tore into me, his fingers shifted and grew until a tentacle covered in my blood served as his treat. He didn't completely take me that first night though I could feel him grow firm against me during the struggle.

When he was finally done with me, he whispered in my ear that I was special and told me that I should never tell, threatened to slaughter my family one by one. He stroked my hair gently as he smiled genuinely while speaking of defiling my mother and slitting my little brother's throat.

He said he'd make sure that my father watched before he killed him too. And then he said he'd just take me away with him anyway. He said that I was his little miko.

When he finally let me go, I curled up in my bed and cried until the sun came up. I didn't even notice him leave. I can't really remember what excuse I used to explain away my visible bruises, my unsightly scars.

It increasingly got worse after that and I didn't work up the courage to tell anyone for over two years. By that time I wasn't the naïve overly-optimistic girl I had been anymore. Naraku managed to make good on one of his threats by piercing my father through the chest with a miasma filled tentacle when he tried to protect me. I didn't even know what miasma was. The only thing I knew was that the monk and priestess that were waiting for him to come for me like he usually did, the monk and priestess that were a part of the same group that I could have grown up to join, didn't act quick enough. My father died as Naraku was being sealed.

It wasn't until later that I found out about the bodies. About the other girls that weren't "special" enough for him, the girls that eerily resembled me in one way or another but were powerless.

He had stuffed bits of them in the special dark oak wood chest that he had my father make him. I remembered vomiting at the news.

..O..

"Are you okay?" Inuyasha's voice pulled me from my memories. I had been unconsciously finishing getting ready, it seemed. As I looked into the vanity I could see that my makeup was complete and my hair done up in an elegant chignon. I'd even put on the yellow dress. My eyes were still glistening with the telltale sign of unshed tears though.

Quickly I shook off the past. I'd been dealing with the nightmare that had been my life for over 5 years, partially through singing, an activity that had seemed to do what crafting things had done for my father. I had finally overcome it and had finally moved on from that horrible hand that fate had dealt me and on to a new hand, much different but still full of it's own strife in falling in love with Sesshoumaru. Being with Sesshoumaru had given me a sense of peace that I hadn't felt sense before Naraku.

Now I could only hope that Naraku would continue to fail and make another appearance in my new life since things with me and Sesshoumaru seemed to be getting better, now that I was able to hope for a happier future.

"…Kagome?"

"Sorry." I turned to Inuyasha, giving him a smile. "Yeah, I'm okay."

He smiled gently back at me before coming forward and pulling me into a strong hug. It felt a little awkward, but reassuring all the same.

"You look too beautiful to be smelling like tears." He stated and I smiled again, drawing back from him a bit.

"Thanks, Inuyasha."

He dropped his arms from around me, perhaps realizing the awkwardness and I watched him run a nervous hand over the back of his neck.

"If you really don't want to go, you don't have to." He assured me.

"You would say that after I've already gotten ready, wouldn't you?" I joked.

"Yeah, whatever," he stated, obviously happy that I changed the mood of the atmosphere. "So you're done then?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," I stated, looking myself over in the vanity mirror once again and trying not to dwell too much on where the dress I was wearing came from.

"Alright then, let's go," he said, looping my arm in his before ushering me out the door.

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><p>Word Count: 2663<p>

_A.N: I hope this chapter didn't seem too rushed or anything. I had to beat my muse into giving me something and it insisted that I delve back into Kagome's past a bit more. With a bit of luck the next chapter should come both swiftly and smoothly but until then how about you leave me some reviews ;)?_

_And thanks again, to everyone who voted for this story!_

_-E.C._


	25. Chapter 25: Everyone has Plans

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 25: Everyone has Plans**

_A.N. This story has gotten 100 reviews! :D! And I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time out to read & review it. I love you all! :)_

_& as always, thanks for Betaing White Luna!_

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><p>His brother was late, Sesshoumaru noticed, scanning the room. Almost everyone who was anyone was already mingling at the event that paraded itself as if it were truly an important function. It was all about networking, appearances and competition, a night full of dancing, accepting awards, and making speeches. Some would be making big announcements, others merely quietly garnering support for their future developments or upcoming business ventures. It was to be a night of opportunity. Sesshoumaru had once prided himself on making the most of such events. His company was always the ahead but it was nice to keep a close eye on the competition.<p>

Though he did not mingle, _he already had all the connections that he'd ever need_, he always had the most to boast about at such events but he had not even planned on attending this one. He had required Inuyasha to be present in his absence. Counter intuitively, Sesshoumaru still would not have attended, if not for the night he'd spent with Kagome.

Kagome… he could only wonder what it was she was up to. It had been nearly two weeks since that night and he had been busy every moment since. Long hours of contemplation had come to pass and hard decisions had been made but he'd made a promise to her and he planned on keeping it.

Looking over the shoulder of one of the executives rambling on to him, a respectable human, honorable in his business dealings but who was at the moment only wasting Sesshoumaru's time, he scanned the room once more for Inuyasha only to find him just as absent as he was twenty minutes ago. Sesshoumaru bit back the urge to growl.

Though Inuyasha was many things, and though Sesshoumaru did not think particularly high of him, he had assumed he could at least count on Inuyasha to be punctual; especially because he had never informed Inuyasha that he was in fact attending the function after all.

If he had, he knew that Inuyasha was sure to have backed out of coming, seeing no need for himself to be present if Sesshoumaru were. Typically Inuyasha avoided these types of things whenever he could, which Sesshuomaru had never objected to. He'd never found any pleasure in his half-brother's existence, much less his company. But for once, Sesshoumaru had actually required him for something and Inuyasha was only managing to get in the way of his plans.

_'So this is what he is good for?_' Over the months that Sesshoumaru had lacked in his drive to actively run the company, he'd been giving Inuyasha a more direct role in running it, and Sesshoumaru had grudgingly admitted that Inuyasha was doing a fairly decent job of handling things._' But now he is not even capable of telling time? Foolish. '_

"Well… you seem distracted," Came a distinctly amused feminine voice from behind him, "The poor man who'd been speaking to you left over ten minutes ago, you know. I wonder what has caused you to be so… uncharacteristically preoccupied."

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes before turning around to face Kagura standing there. She was of course dressed for the occasion in a dark purple gown, Kanna lingering a few feet behind her like usual, and she was gazing at him, a sharp smile on her face.

"What are you doing here?"

Sesshoumaru had specifically informed her that he would be attending the function alone. He was usually indifferent to all things considering her. Frankly, she had been doing what she liked since they'd gotten married and though she had sometimes attended such events with him, _he had not cared one way or the other_, he had not wanted her here for this one.

He had thought that she would not even have bothered with the event since she had not known of it until just earlier that morning. She never went anywhere or did anything if she was not at her best, her status meaning more to her than anything, since she'd once not had it before their marriage.

"Isn't it lovely?" Kagura asked, ignoring the question and glancing around the room, "Whoever decorated—

"I am sure I just asked you a question," Sesshoumaru cut in irritated. Tonight was already not going as planned for him and while Kagura showing up would not deter the plans he had for this evening, it was strange. He didn't know what it was, but it seemed out of her character to go out of her way to show up. Her presence would be inconsequential in the end, but it did not sit well with him either.

Kagura merely flashed him one of her smiles, natural to the untrained eye but forced if one were to really pay attention, before handing him one of the two champagne glasses she was holding.

"I just knew tonight would be a big success... for the company of course. It seemed as though you'd been preparing for something recently and I did not want to miss it."

Sesshoumaru did not find it necessary to respond to her though he did take note of the fact that she was aware of his habits. He supposed that perhaps it made sense. What he was planning on announcing, he had worked out in his home office and Kagura had been around. They did share a home.

Dismissing the thought, and her, he took a rather long sip of champagne.

"You did not tell me Inuyasha was coming."

At Kagura's mention of his tardy brother and her gaze directed over his shoulder, he turned back towards the entrance set on pulling Inuyasha to the side for a couple of words. But he did not see him anywhere, although to be honest he could not seem to see anyone but her.

Kagome was standing there. Looking shy and somewhat out of her element but gorgeous nonetheless. Her lush onyx waves were done up intricately, a few curls framing her slightly made up face, and she was dressed in a silk canary yellow dress. The light material draped loosely over her form, fitting more at her hips and falling just above her knees. Its' neckline slopped gently just above her breasts and her creamy skin, to him, seemed to glow.

He had never seen her look so extravagant. He had not lied to her when he informed her that she was always beautiful to him but seeing her like this made him think of the near future, made him think about everything that he would give to her, the life of luxury that he would shower her with once he made her his. She would have more than his affection… she would never want for anything again. _'But why was she here?'_

He didn't think long on the question because she raised her hand nervously to bite her nails and simultaneously flashed the crescent bracelet adorning her wrist. He'd _almost _allowed a smile to grace his lips and was about to move forward to comfort away her obvious yet charming nerves but before he could take the first step he noticed the hand falling lightly on her wrist, the accompanying smile that tugged gently on her lips as she halted her nervous habit.

Sesshoumaru's amber gaze trailed upwards from the hand touching his soon to be mate and found his eyes settling on his brother's smiling face. '_What was she doing here _with _Inuyasha?'_ Sesshoumaru was aware that she'd vaguely been introduced to his brother the day she'd come into his office to… end things with him so long ago but they were looking far too comfortable in each other's presence for this to have merely been the second time they were meeting.

Inuyasha had not mentioned knowing her and Kagome had not mentioned knowing Inuyasha, though he tried to remind himself that he and his brother were not close and that he and Kagome had not spoken of many things the fleeting night that they'd spent together a mere two weeks ago.

He quickly tried to quell the possessiveness and jealousy wishing to overcome him at only the sight of them. Sesshoumaru had not failed to notice that Inuyasha's hand was still resting on her skin as they laughed and he could not stop the thought that Inuyasha had brought her here believing that Sesshoumaru would not be attending…

It was preposterous. He had no reason to feel jealous, especially not because of Inuyasha. He was overreacting he assured himself, taking another longer sip of champagne, his eyes never straying from them. But then Inuyasha's hand glided around Kagome's waist, resting gently against her lower _bare_ back in her backless dress to lead her forward, and Sesshoumaru's sharp hearing barely registered the sound of glass cracking and shattering.

He looked down at the champagne flute in his grasp, or what use to be a champagne flute, with his eyebrows furrowed in thought before someone, he did not look to see who, was asking him if he was okay.

"I am fine," he answered coldly, glaring at his hand harder as pieces of glass were pushed out of his skin by his healing. When his palm was back to perfection, he turned his hand over and cracked his knuckles before striding away.

It was strange...accidentally breaking the glass. Even a mistake so minor was more than off for him. He'd been angry many times and had never lost his grip on his emotions before and he should have been able to hold back the surge of possessiveness he'd felt.

It had almost felt like… he was unable to control his instincts which was ridiculous, as was the reasoning behind it.

Kagome would never—

He stopped himself from finishing the traitorous thought. There was no reason to consider that she could be having a relationship of the sort he would not think on with his brother.

There was no reason to give what she would never do a name.

..O..

Inuyasha took a sidelong glance at the woman entering the function beside him and could not help the soft smile that rose to his lips. Kagome was stunning.

He could only hope that tonight would go well. It was the first of many steps he planned on taking to get Kagome to stay by his side as more than just a friend.

From the moment he met her when she accidentally walked into his office, he had been enthralled. It had had something to do with the way she'd looked at him. It seemed crazy and implausible but… her sapphire gaze struck him, she had looked at him and it had almost been as if she'd already loved him, like instantaneous acceptance. Something that he was not used to and had told himself did not matter but perhaps had longed for nonetheless.

Times were different, he knew that. There wasn't much open hostility anymore but that didn't mean that people didn't treat him differently or that he didn't have to prove himself because he was a hanyou. Sometimes he could see it on their faces, could see the disgust, could see that if not for his status, a position that his father had made sure he would have, they would think less of him.

But it had never been like that with Kagome. Even though that first look of endearment had only lasted a second, she had never once judged him after that. There was always complete acceptance from her.

He cherished her friendship, he really did, and he'd already considered that if she refused his attempts at more he would back away, but that moment, that first moment was still carved into his brain and he would have been a fool to not at least try and see if there could be anything between them.

Kagome looked over at him and smiled.

"Let me take your coat," Inuyasha said, gesturing towards her jacket, "I'll only be a moment," he added as she slipped it off and handed it to him.

Inuyasha really hoped tonight would go well.

..O..

Inuyasha and I had not been at the function for long.

He had left me alone for a moment to take my jacket and I'd only just begun to feel a little uncomfortable before he'd made it back to me. He was being incredibly cooperative, sweet even, considering the fact that he did not even want to be here either as he'd explained to me in the car on the way. It seemed he was going out of his way to keep me comfortable. He'd even managed to make me laugh by assuring me that if anything he'd probably make a fool of himself before I would.

He'd placed his hand on my lower back as he led me around introducing me to a few people. And it was interesting contact, he'd not done anything like it before. I'd raised a brow at him for doing so, but ultimately decided there was no harm in it. As I shook hands and conversed with whom I assumed were notable people and demons, I'd forgotten all about our closeness. It wasn't so awkward, considering the fact that I knew absolutely no one there besides him and I found myself leaning into him for reassurance and confidence which to my surprise seemed to come to me rather easily.

The smile on my face was genuine until I heard a voice call my name.

"Kagome, how are you?"

I'd only heard that particular voice once but I could still remember it clearly and apparently it still did nothing more than tangle up my thoughts with confusion. I still didn't know if I could look her in the face and not feel guilty. Would she hate me if she knew or would she not even care about my relationship with Sesshoumaru? Did she love him? He'd said she'd grown attached but what did that really even mean? Hadn't their marriage been business? Does that even matter?

And I could not think badly of her no matter how Sesshoumaru characterized her to me. In the one instance before, I'd not seen anything from her but pleasantness… except for maybe after I mistakenly burned her but anyone would have looked at me as frighteningly as she had then. It had just been her red eyes, too reminiscent of my tragic past, which had struck a foreboding cord with me. Overall she had been nice then… and yet she was his wife and I, his… well… simply his and he mine. I could not see it any other way.

I wished I did not have to face her so soon after the night Sesshoumaru and I'd shared. I did not desire to sour such a good memory with reality yet, had hoped I'd never have to.

"I thought you said you wouldn't know anyone here," Inuyasha whispered, snapping me out of my thoughts, as he turned towards the figure walking towards us. She, hearing him, answered for me.

"Kagome and I had an encounter many months ago," Kagura answered flippantly, as she stopped in front of Inuyasha and I. "Normally I probably would not have remembered but she left a mark," she grinned, "It took me over a week to heal from it." Her red eyes had not left mine though she had been talking to Inuyasha, "I believe that's the dress I bought for you on your back, is it not?" she said, finally directing a question towards me.

The tone of her voice sounded just as saccharine as it had the day I'd met her but for some reason I couldn't shake the feeling that she had just taken a swipe at me somehow, like she had pointed out my inferiority with controlling my powers and the size of my bank account. I bit my tongue and tried to ignore the feeling.

"Yes, this is the dress," I answered, looking down at it momentarily, "And again I apologize for hurting you, I-

"Believe me, you'd have to do far more to hurt me," She cut in dismissively, "It's in the past and I'm sure we'd both agree that the past should stay there." The look she gave me then, I could not place. It was almost as if all her emotions washed off her face for only a moment before she continued, "What I'd really like to know is how you two have come to be here together."

"Yes," A strong velvety smooth voice interrupted from behind me, the sound forcing me to repress a shiver, "I'd like to know that as well."

It was Sesshoumaru.

Word Count: 2775

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><p><em>A.N.: Runs and hides. I know it took me forever and I left you with a cliffie BUT it was just begging to be stopped there…so… I did. Have mercy? oh, and review. :)<em>

_- E.C. :3_


	26. Chapter 26: Eyes Painted Black

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 26: Eyes Painted Black**

_A.N.: Long chapter! Go me! Hope you enjoy it :)_

_And a very very special thanks to White Luna for giving me great advice to help with this chapter and betaing per usual ;)_

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><p>"Ah Sesshoumaru, I see you've noticed Inuyasha's date," Kagura stated shifting to turn towards Sesshoumaru as he came to stand in our increasingly discomfited circle, "Lovely isn't she?"<p>

He was beautiful, standing before me, his silky glistening silver tresses in one long braid gliding over his left shoulder. He was dressed in a dark stony grey suit, with a white button up shirt and golden tie. It fit him flawlessly, outlining the broad shoulders, angling down to his narrow hips, the pants flowing down his strong legs.

He was always so imposing and now was no different. His eyes were literally blazing beneath his reddened eyelids and I found myself drawn in.

They were deep pools of golden water, enticing me to let myself slip beneath the tide but I also noticed that there was something a little off about him. It was barely visible, could have been my imagination but he looked… less composed, tense even? He blinked slowly, his thin lips parting to answer Kagura and I suddenly remembered that she was still there. Quickly I averted my gaze, let my eyes wander, and watched as her arm wove around his suit-clad elbow. A part of me expected him to shrug her off or sneer... but he didn't, seemingly behaved as if it was normal, as if he didn't even notice it.

It threw me off. I'd never been in both of their presences before. I had once assumed that he'd loved her and she him… but since the last night we'd spent together I'd finally come to the conclusion that he didn't feel for her. He'd said it before then but he'd shown it that night. He loved _me_, wasn't just saying he'd mate me but was aching to, and I repeated it in my head like a mantra because seeing them together was like having someone pluck my heart from my chest and crush it. I let my eyes fall away from the sight of them and listened as Sesshoumaru spoke.

"I know Kagome," he started and I felt a tug on my soul, his velvety smooth voice, rich like wine, was affecting me as much as an embrace could. "And yes, she is beautiful."

I wanted him to say more than that, which made no sense, wanted him to outright claim me. I knew we couldn't behave in the way we normally would. Even if I wasn't so sure that Kagura was as vindictive as he'd informed me, I'd never take the chance and be wrong. What if she really did take his daughter away from him and it was all my fault?

Going along with that thought, I brushed off his slightly more tense behavior. It wasn't that he was feeling caught up in the presence of his wife and mistress…no, that wasn't right... his soon-to-be mate, I corrected myself. It must be that he's just worried we might give ourselves away, that I might give us away before it was had to be it.

The weight of his gaze was still fixed on my form. I could feel it simmering within my own skin. Now that I thought about it, I was feeling far more close than I physically was to him. It was almost like we were intertwined, a strange and intense intimacy of which I had no words for but it did help to further stamp out those pestering and lingering thoughts that he wasn't mine. And then I realized I'd need to act as if he wasn't.

It would be hard and probably hurt my pride a little but I still had the faith he'd given me that night. We would be together. He gave me his word and I believed him. I could live with pretending to not love him for now… in front of his wife, to protect him. This whole situation was just so complicated. And I didn't feel quite right about putting on a show, doing something so morally questionable, but it seemed to me to be the only solution.

Inuyasha spoke.

"Yeah, Kagome told me that you both had a mutual acquaintance. I never would have met her if it wasn't for that time she came by the office." Inuyasha's last sentence was punctuated by tightening his arm around me more firmly, an arm that I had completely forgotten about and an action that I didn't have time to consider because it was the first thing to draw Sesshoumaru's gaze off of me and it was that which I noticed. As I looked up, his orbs landed on Inuyasha so coldly that even_ I_ chilled. For a second I was sure I witnessed red tinting his amber eyes, his lip curl slightly.

But I blinked and the uncharacteristic lapse in his perpetually indifferent demeanor was gone. Perhaps, I'd been mistaken.

"Is that so?" Was all that Sesshoumaru said in response, his voice dead-panned and even.

As they stared at each other the air became heavy and I felt somehow in the middle of it. Right then, their dislike was palpable and I was feeling drowned within it. I hadn't known that the discontent ran _this _deep. I knew they didn't care for one another but this was suffocating.

It was like I was missing something crucial.

"Perfect," Kagura cut in, "Since we're all so well acquainted, we'll have to spend some time together. You two will join us at our table," she said gesturing to Inuyasha and I.

For a moment, I was actually grateful for the reprieve from the smothering atmosphere until I comprehended the words she'd spoken. I couldn't be around them any longer, couldn't continue to see them together even if I knew their relationship was not really one of man and wife. Now that I had a sense of what to do, I knew it'd be easier for me to pretend if I distanced myself from Sesshoumaru. Sometimes I couldn't control myself in his presence after all.

"Actually, I thought Inuyasha and I would continue to mingle," I said quickly. Kagura frowned darkly at my words and I was a little taken aback but before panic could set in she suddenly brightened.

"Mingle? Right... If you two wished to be alone, you could have just said so."

What exactly was she alluding to? I was about to correct her apparent misunderstanding of Inuyasha and my relationship but then realized if she thought I was interested in him instead of Sesshoumaru, things would go even smoother. Hopefully Inuyasha would play along… or not even notice. I'd have to explain later. Maybe it was about time that I informed him about Sesshoumaru and I anyway. He would keep my secret, though I'm sure he wouldn't necessarily like it considering the ill feelings and stunted relationship I'd just witnessed between the two. But in the end I knew he'd approve if simply because it would make me happy. He was always looking out for me, was just that kind of friend.

Sneaking a quick glance at Sesshoumaru, I saw that his face was devoid of emotion, his eyes staring somewhere off beyond our small group. I hadn't noticed when but Kagura's arm wasn't wrapped around him anymore and the constriction in my chest lessened. Now, I needed to let him know I wasn't going to be the one to give our secret away.

"Um… yeah," I started, agreeing with Kagura, " It's just that Inuyasha and I never get to spend time just the two of us. My roommate's always around and… well… we could all meet up later. I'm sure you two have business to attend to anyway. It is what this gathering is for right?"

I looked to each individual. Kagura looked strangely pleased. Sesshoumaru was still distant, but his jaw clenched, and Inuyasha was smiling gently. I just needed to get away and fast.

"Sure, but drinks first?" Kagura asked and without waiting on an answer she turned towards the white haired girl standing a little ways behind her, asking her to bring them. I hadn't even noticed her, she seemed so quiet and meek. I tried to remember her name from that day so long ago. I'd thought she was Kagura's assistant of some sort, Kanna.

Kanna rushed off at the order and Kagura turned back and began a conversation with Inuyasha.

I didn't pay attention, tried to remove myself for the time being. I was finding it too hard not to notice Sesshoumaru, not to feel his presence tapping at the barrier of my mind. His unease had not lessened with my actions and I was so strongly feeling the urge to do anything to fix that, that I was afraid I'd make a mistake. So instead I watched Kanna.

She'd quickly gone over to where the beverages and foods were, placing four filled champagne flutes on a tray. There was a slight pause in her actions and then turned her head back towards us. When she did, I smiled faintly at her and she quickly turned around again.

Soon she was returning, balancing the four drinks and walking swiftly, eyes staring at the flutes as if by doing so she could keep them upright.

She was almost to us when Kagura muttered a harsh, "Where is that girl?", twisting around to check on her progress, or perhaps berate her, and promptly knocking the tray and glasses of drinks into Kanna. The liquid splashed, soaking the front of her dress before finally the glasses and metallic tray shattered and clanged loudly in impact with the floor.

There was a moment of stunned silence, other people stopping and looking over at the loud noise before Kagura's voice sliced through it.

"Can't you ever do anything right?" She seethed and Kanna dropped to her knees.

She didn't even look to her ruined clothes, she was apologizing, though it was honestly not at all her fault, and making a rushed and frugal attempt of picking up glass shards as if she could somehow put them back together. Her face looked shocked and… maybe even frightened. It was the most expression that I'd really seen from her and my heart lurched. Though I knew it was a frugal attempt, I automatically dropped to my knees to help her.

"It's okay," I whispered when she looked up at me in disbelief as if no one had ever tried to help her before, "It was a accident. I drop stuff all the time at my job."

"...T-thank you," she said and I smiled at her again as I picked up another shard and placed it on the tray. This time she managed to offer me a small uneasy smile of her own but then I was being pulled up abruptly by my wrist.

"What are you doing? She can clean up her own mess," Kagura said glaring down at Kanna. "Leave her to it."

"I will not-"

"No it's okay," Kanna interrupted me quickly, "I've got it. Thank you for offering."

Her face was as close to pleading as it could get, looking up at me.

"…Alright, if you're sure," I managed to say even as Kagura tugged for me to turn away from Kanna. The short scene made me realize that maybe I should take seriously Sesshoumaru's warnings about Kagura. Kanna had seemed so wary and afraid of her, far too anxious not to notice.

I looked up for comfort, eyes immediately seeking Sesshoumaru, to find him missing.

"Where'd you get this?" It was Kagura's voice asking me the question, as her ruby eyes glared down at my bracelet adorned wrist. Her claw ran over the crescent. I hoped she didn't recognize it. Inuyasha hadn't known what it was so perhaps Kagura didn't either. I could only hope.

I didn't get a chance to answer though because Inuyasha turned me towards him suddenly. I was starting to get upset with everyone maneuvering me around as they pleased but it turned out Inuyasha had a good reason.

"You're bleeding," he declared, bringing my attention to my other hand and the crimson dripping from it.

It must have happened when Kagura was pulling me up from the ground. I had to have cut myself on the glass then.

"Come on. I'll find a towel."

And he was pulling me away from a still glaring Kagura, a frantic Kanna, and the space from which Sesshoumaru had disappeared. I looked around, through the crowd of people and couldn't spot him. Why was I beginning to get a aching, twisting feeling in the pit of my stomach? Why was I suddenly sure that something was terribly wrong?

My eyes narrowed, and I wondered, still searching for him as I stood at the side of the large room. A sharp pain made me wince. Inuyasha dabbed at my cut.

"It's not so bad, barely even a flesh wound," he assured after wiping away the blood from it.

I turned my hand and looked to my palm. It was definitely more than what I'd consider a flesh wound but I didn't comment on it. I felt i had other things to worry about.

"Tonight's not going so well is it?" I asked him instead looking away as Sesshoumaru's unstable aura was somehow reaching out me.

Inuyasha had even seemed higher strung then he was earlier and I probably had something to do with it. I doubted every gathering set people on edge as this one had been doing.

"Keh, it's alright. Believe it or not I'd probably be having a worse time if you weren't here, bloody hand and all," he grinned slightly before the expression faded off his face, exchanged for one that was more serious. "It's just... something is off with Sesshoumaru. I didn't even know he was coming and when he made his appearance I knew he'd be angry that I was late showing up but he looked about ready to cut my head off. Usually when he feels that way I'm not so aware of it," Inuyasha frowned, "He's typically an indifferent angry, not fuming or obviously irate. Then he just vanished._ I_ didn't even see it."

I'm sure Inuyasha wasn't aware of how much his words affected me. So the discontent I'd seen between them really wasn't normal? Something was definitely wrong with Sesshoumaru. I could feel it. Had I done something wrong? I needed to find out. I'd have to get him alone at some point… if I could find him.

"Do you want to dance?"

"What?" I asked, slightly staggered by the change of topic.

"Dance, do you want to?" Inuyasha asked again, "It would give us a breather from having to talk to any new people for at least a little while and I noticed you looking over in that direction so…"

"Oh," I said. I _had _been looking over in that area but mostly because I was still looking for my daiyoukai. I glanced there again. I'd probably have a better view of the whole room from the dance floor. "Sure, I'd like to dance," I answered.

There were a few other pairs on the floor as we made it over to the area, Inuyasha leading me by my good hand. His arms wrapped around my waist and I wove my arms around his neck, careful of my injury and yet almost absentmindedly. As we danced, my eyes continually searched the room.

. . . O . . .

Sesshoumaru was beginning to face that fact that something was seriously amiss. It wasn't just that he couldn't control his possessiveness or jealousy, a thought that he'd considered and found_ preposterous_, but he couldn't even control himself in general. He was unstable. His youki was erratic, fighting against his will to keep it contained and he was overwrought and straining himself to just remain composed. The blood flow in his veins didn't even feel right, was biting and sharp. This had never happened before.

And of course he _was_ both feeling jealous and possessive, which was not helping the situation at all. Little things, like being so caught up he hadn't noticed Kagura touching him or when he'd nearly lost himself to a rage that was only half warranted. His body was fighting itself and concurrently looking for any outlet to rid himself of the constant pulsing discomfort. Inuyasha had nearly been that outlet when he'd tucked Kagome closer into his body. He'd felt the heat of his blood boiling beneath his pale skin, something foreign ripping through the nerves inside him. He had only been moments away from turning feral.

He'd come to Kagome and his brother for a purpose, set on figuring out just what was going on between them and it was obvious that his brother felt something for Kagome, his overprotective gestures plainly apparent to another of his kind, but he had not been able to gauge Kagome as easily. She was allowing Inuyasha to touch her, he couldn't deny that and it was taking all of himself to not correct Inuyasha rather painfully, but for a time she had seemed far more interested in himself, paying no attention to any other. It had helped to ease him somewhat but then unexpectedly she had avoided looking at him, frankly ignored his presence altogether.

A struggling to keep in control part of Sesshoumaru's rational mind had blamed those actions on the fact that Kagura was there but Kagome's attempts to be alone with Inuyasha could not be overlooked nor the gentle smile that had lit his brother's face at her words.

He'd drawn inward. Some deep and buried thoughts slithering their way into his already clouded mind, memories of a youth watching his father dote on Inuyasha and Inuyasha's mother in the wake of the most miserable time in his life, memories of Inuyasha receiving everything that he had once wanted.

The only strife his brother had ever had to face was due to his hanyou heritage and Sesshoumaru had definitely used that weakness against his brother many times. It was not that Sesshoumaru ever hated humans per say and by that point he had shut himself off from traitorous emotions but that did not mean he wasn't pleased to see to it that Inuyasha had his own share of misery in penitence. But still Inuyasha continued to receive everything with little effort. Sesshoumaru had thought himself far over such past trivial matters but adding to it the thought that Inuyasha could even conceivably have Kagome too…

His jaw was clenched so tight, he could have shattered his own fangs with the pressure.

And that was when he'd scented Kagome's blood and with it he'd snapped. His eyes had bled over in an instant, his claws lengthening, poison merely seconds from dripping from them. He'd only had enough mind to immediately create distance between them. Not for the brother that at that moment he wished to maim, nor for anyone else who might have gotten in the way, but for Kagome. Even accidentally being within breathing distance of his poison could be dangerous to a human, miko or not.

This was not a regular unleashing of his youki, it was being forced, and it was not pleasant in the least to have his barriers shred through. When even distancing himself hadn't allowed him to regain composure completely, he decided that he should depart altogether. Whatever was affecting him, was managing to cloud his mental awareness while at the same time letting loose his power. He was no lesser youkai and the consequences could be dire. Angrily, he accepted that his plans for the evening would have to be rescheduled until he uncovered the source of his body's uproar.

. . .O. . .

I knew where he was. I didn't know how I knew but when I figured it out, I halted dancing abruptly.

"What's wrong?"Inuyasha asked.

I could barely even hear his voice.

"I just have to do something, I'll be back," I called over my shoulder as I quickly made my way through the crowd, pushing through people on the way. I didn't have time to think about the impression I might be making as I finally made it to the hall and to the large oak doors in which we'd entered. I pushed them open to walk out.

Outside there was a neatly manicured and massively large lawn, with lush gardens and a few lavish fountains. Everyone else was still inside and at first it seemed deafeningly quiet in comparison until something in the distance caught my attention. It was dark now but was still easy to spot Sesshoumaru's glistening silver locks catching the moonlight.

I ran for him.

"Sesshoumaru!" I called out and even from my position I could see his reaction.

He stilled uneasily and clenched his fists.

I paused at his actions, "…Sesshoumaru?"

"What are you doing here with him Kagome?" his voice was exceptionally cold and unnervingly even as he slightly looked over his shoulder at me.

My eyes met dark red ones, and I could see the stripe on his cheek was jagged but I headed forward anyway. His aura was more obvious to me than it had ever been and I could see rather than only feel it spiking, stabbing even, it was painful just witnessing it.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I slowly made my way closer to him. There was perspiration dotting the space above his brows, his hair slightly disheveled, pieces of silver having unwoven themselves from the once neat braid, "What's wrong Sesshoumaru? Are you okay?"

He snarled.

. . .O. . .

She'd followed him. They were alone and he was still fighting with his youki but he felt like if maybe he could finally get some answers from her a part of him would be set at ease.

For a moment she looked taken aback by his loss of control, snarling at her for not answering his question and he wondered if he'd frightened her. It was an accident. He'd never want to scare her but she was avoiding explaining herself. He needed her to calm him. No he was not alright, nowhere near it, but if she would only answer him…

"What are doing here with Inuyasha?" he repeated himself, the effort to keep his voice still was draining him. He felt himself shaking.

"I'm just here with him. That's all," Kagome answered, looking confused.

That was all? That wasn't what it looked like to him and definitely not what it smelled like either. His mind was swimming, his body's struggles affecting his rationality. What did she think him for, a fool? She'd come following him, smelling even more strongly of his brother's scent. As soon as he'd left what had they done?

"He has touched you," he growled out deeply.

It was an accusation. It meant more than the words he'd said.

Kagome caught on quickly. Her ire rising.

"We danced Sesshoumaru. Is that what all this is about? Do you have no faith in me? I was only pretending with Inuyasha because I thought you were worried I'd give us away to Kagura!"

Kagura didn't matter. At least she wouldn't have mattered soon enough. But he couldn't currently grasp the fact that Kagome had no way of knowing that. Sesshoumaru, after having given Kagome his word and thinking on it fixatedly, had come to the decision that he would give up the company to Inuyasha. Inuyasha had proven himself to be at least capable and it was this that he had planned and tonight that he was to announce he'd be stepping down from his position of President.

He'd still have millions to his name, as well as shares in the company, and there could be no reason that anyone would be able to place Rin in Kagura's care after the divorce. There could be no claim that he would be an absent father because of his obsession with work or his business. A part of him would surely miss the competition, the claim to power that came with running the company but he would have stood to gain so much more in giving it up. He would have finally been able to have Kagome on her terms, the way she wanted. He'd been willing to give up the only thing he'd striven to obtain for centuries and he would not have regretted it.

But at this moment he couldn't even fathom the idea of ceding the company to Inuyasha, of relinquishing to him _anything. _And now he was questioning if Kagome had really wanted what he'd been willing to offer her at all.

He _did _have faith in her. He'd thought much earlier when his mind was clear that she would have never done what he was accusing her of... but that was before he started losing control. That was before he was so heavily preoccupied with keeping himself contained and when he could think sensibly. Now the memories were whispering dark thoughts in his head and everything was fogged and cloudy. He reacted, latching onto one of the treacherous thoughts.

"My attendance was not known," he started words hissed, his control fading even more, "You cannot claim your _relationship_ with the _halfbreed_," both words were spoken like venom, "is pretend. You would have come with him tonight regardless of my presence."

"_Halfbreed?" _Kagome was shocked,"I'm all human Sesshoumaru! How can you say that? Do you know what kind of children _we'd_ have?" Kagome looked at him angrily, "He's your brother! And he's someone who was there for me when you weren't!"

Sesshoumaru had no way of knowing that Kagome was referring to when Inuyasha had saved her from Naraku, had no way of knowing she was only sticking up for a friend who may very well have saved her life. And he would continue not to know anytime soon because he couldn't comprehend anything after that sentence because to Sesshoumaru it had been nothing more than an admittance, a confession of her betrayal.

"I owe Inuyasha a lot and you know my history Sesshoumaru," Kagome's eyes were tearing, icy blue droplets falling down her cheeks, "I can't believe that you would think this of me… I hadn't even assumed that was what was wrong with you tonight," She quieted slightly, " I've never been with anyone but you that I've_ chosen_ and I've trusted no one but you with my body since Naraku took it from me by force."

Kagome was speaking but he couldn't_ hear_ her. The blood was rushing too loudly in his head, his youki was raging. The foreign feeling took hold and his last thread of control was slipping from his fingers. His poison was seeping from his claws and he took a step back even now. His last completely coherent thought was that he did not want to hurt Kagome.

. . .O. . .

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything back to what I'd said. It seemed like he wasn't even mentally present anymore. During the argument I had momentarily forgotten that he'd looked so visibly ill, that I had come out here because I'd physically felt something was wrong with him. I'd forgotten until he stepped back from me.

He looked in pain, his eyes clenched as if he was fighting something, his hands strangely glowing green. His fangs were lengthened and his lips were drawn back in a silent snarl. I got the impression that anyone else would have been screaming.

I stepped forward again, my anger at having him accuse me of what he had fading in the face of my worry, tears continued falling but now for a new reason, "Sesshoumaru please, talk to me. Something else is wrong."

He wasn't himself, that much was obvious.

I reached out for him when he continued not to answer and he jerked away from me, eyes shooting open. His sclera and irises had gone completely black, not the red that I was at least somewhat used to.

"Leave now."

The feral noise that escaped from him was a warning but I couldn't make myself go. I needed to help him. Seeing him like this was frightening. I wasn't scared of him but for him.

His erratic aura was persistently calling out to me and from deep within my own body I felt a thrum. When I reached forward again, I vaguely noticed my hands were glimmering slightly pink.

"Please… let me help," I said drawing closer. Somehow I knew I could help him and he didn't move as I advanced this time, even looked slightly less pained for a moment. I thought I saw his eyes flash red and I was only inches away, just seconds from touching him.

"Kagome!"

It was Inuyasha and he was running towards us. My name uttered from his lips drew my attention away and by the time my eyes had flickered over to Inuaysha, Sesshoumaru already had him dangling in the air from his neck.

Inuyasha, shocked, was clawing at his arm, and I could see Sesshoumaru's grip tightening, his claws digging into the skin of Inuyasha neck even as the green glow seemed to be burning him. He snarled in Inuyasha's face.

"No, wait! Sesshoumaru!" I yelled, my heeled feet stumbling as I tried to make my way to them as fast as I could. I could barely see, the tears in my eyes were blurring the image in front of me as I finally made it closer to the two.

"Stop!" I shouted and it was like Sesshoumaru wasn't even aware I was there, my plea falling on deaf ears. His focus was completely on Inuyasha and on causing him as much pain as slowly as he possibly could. He was crushing his windpipe, not even flinching as Inuyasha's claws dug deep gashes into his skin. I knew he would regret this. Sesshoumaru was strong and powerful, could be lethal and that I knew, but this was being done needlessly. He wasn't in his right mind.

Not thinking and desperate, I pulled at his free arm, intent on trying to somehow get him to cease, only to have my wrist grabbed and be pushed backwards brutally. I landed hard, the air being forced from my lungs by the impact as I cried out in pain.

As quickly as it'd happened, Inuyasha was dropped. Sesshoumaru turned towards me. This time I knew I saw the flickering of black to red and red to black in his eyes. His fists clenched and I could see blood dripping down his fingers from the wounds he was inflicting on himself.

"Kagome…"

His voice was only slightly less feral than it was when he'd warned me to leave but the remorse was plainly heard to me.

I knew it was an accident. He hadn't meant to and I was about to tell him that I was fine, it was okay, but suddenly I found myself being lifted, my back pulled against a strong chest, and Inuyasha's arm winding around my front as he leaped us further away from Sesshoumaru.

The ominous black glaze over Sesshoumaru's eyes quickly began regaining control but then there was a strong flash of light, so bright that I had to shield my eyes from it.

When I opened them Sesshoumaru was gone.

I barely registered the scream that left from my lips, as my own.

Word Count: 5241

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><p><em>A.N.: And again I say go me for the length and not falling into the urge to split this into two chapters :). Let me know what you thought about it! (and in particular the little bit of action at the end since it is my first time writing such) Until next time.:D<em>

_-E.C._


	27. Chapter 27: What Next?

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko

**-To Sip of Black Velvet-**

**Chapter 27: What Next?**

_A.N.: It's almost been a year since I completely lost the muse for this story, went through writer's block, and started to feel like I couldn't write chapter stories anymore... but recently I've been giving chapter stories a go again in other fandoms so I decided to try my hand and come back to this. I can't promise quick updates anymore (or really lengthy chapters either) but I'm going to try really hard to make sure that this story does not go on "forever hiatus" and that I complete it. I'd really appreciate any feedback to let me know how many of you are still even here reading this. Sorry this is so long over due. - E.C._

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><p>Everything stopped. I could feel myself getting sick as my body twisted in Inuyasha's arms. I was trying my hardest to escape from his iron grip, to follow or somehow stop Sesshoumaru. I watched as a bright orb of light, blindingly white, soared further and further away from me, beginning to become a blur against the night's starry background. Somehow, though I'd never known before that moment that he was even capable of such, I knew it was Sesshoumaru, that he was distancing himself to try and protect us while he still had some control left.<p>

He was leaving… injured and in agonizing pain and I could do nothing for him standing confined in Inuyasha's grip. Precious seconds continued to slip away, the vice around my heart tightening painfully as the distance between me and the orb of light grew larger, making it harder and harder to breathe.

Maybe it was desperation, but a sharp spike in my powers forced Inuyasha to let me go. He did with a hiss, arms unlatching so quickly that I was thrown off balance and fell to my knees. I landed with a huff but paid no attention to the jolt of my bones. I was still busy glancing upwards into the sky, searching amongst the stars. There was a cold heaviness beginning to weigh me down. My head snapped one way and then the next, blurring the images above me but I couldn't find him anymore. He was gone. I'd lost him.

At first I felt nothing, disbelief maybe, I'd been so close just moments before, steps away from him but then reality began to set in. My hands clenched and fingernails dug into the earth at my sides. It was cold but I needed to be grounded for this. My head grew heavy. Tears burned the back of my throat, were threatening to fall, but I fervently tried to hold them back.

_He'd_ been there for _me, _I couldn't stop thinking. Just two weeks ago I had been feeling as low as I could, had been only a second away from giving up on myself completely. I'd been worn down, bruised, and battered by grief, by my steadfast belief that my life was destined for nothing but anguish and Sesshoumaru had come for me then. Granted it was not planned, but somehow Sesshoumaru had still managed to be there at the time I needed him most. He had saved me, saved me from myself and given me hope, given me something to look forward to. And now when he needed me, now when I could have helped him in return...

-I'd failed him.

And the worse part was that I didn't even know how.

What had happened? Something had been terribly wrong, that much was obvious, and he'd been in so much pain that I'd literally felt it ricocheting within my own body. How had I been able to do that, feel his pain? Was that just a part of being a miko or was it because it'd been _that_ bad? … Could he—could he die from something like this?

I tried to swallow but the dry lump in my throat wouldn't allow it so I shook my head instead.

It couldn't be that grave-_couldn't be_! Had I wasted the only time we could have had together by pushing him away for all those months?

A strangled whimper that erupted from my throat shocked me. It seemed I didn't have the energy to keep it at bay any longer.

If- if something happened, something even _worse_ than what was apparently happening... what would I do without him?

Tears fell, forced from the corners of my eyes as I shut them against my thoughts but it didn't help. The worst outcomes my mind could conjure played across the darkness of my eyelids. I'd lost too many people in my life already, seen too much death, gone through too much to lose him too. And then there was the chance that some other horrible thing could happen. What if he hurt someone? He'd just hurt Inuyasha. What if he did something so gruesome while out of control that he would have to be sealed? That could never happen, could it? I clenched my lids shut even tighter, trying to stop the images.

A hand landing ever so gently on my shoulder, made me jump and then tense. My eyes creaked open. I looked up just enough that I was peaking from beneath my bangs. Inuyasha was crouching in front of me and my eyes were drawn to the seared skin marring his neck. The wound was darkened and angry, vaguely resembling the outline of a hand, tand there was dried blood around the deep claw marks gauged in his flesh.

This was all my fault. If I had not let myself get distracted… if I had just reached forward quicker for Sesshoumaru I could have fought whatever it was inside of him, whatever it was that he was trying to fight but couldn't himself, and none of this would have happened. I'd known I could help him and the glowing of my hands at the time had only proven it.

"I'm- I'm so sorry Inuyasha," I managed to get out between a dry throat and tight chest, eyes still roaming over his injury.

He shook his head.

"No… it's not your fault. Sesshoumaru, he…" But he didn't finish the sentence, frowned, because I suspected he didn't know what was going on either.

"I'm fine and you're—you're okay now. He's gone," He continued, trying to make me feel better.

Unfortunately his words only made me clench my eyes shut and sob harder. Sesshoumaru _was _gone, alone, and probably off suffering somewhere without me.

Inuyasha reached forward, hands settling around my jaw as he forced me to look up at him. He looked confused and regretful that he had somehow only managed to make things worse and was fumbling, searching for something to say.

"Please Kagome… please stop crying," he started, brushing away some of the wet trails on my skin with the calloused pads of his thumb, "I promise everything is fine. We're fine. I'll protect you… I'll…"

I watched confused as he nervously bit his lip, wondering what was going through his head, and then suddenly his mouth was crashing into mine, pressing while one of his hands wove in my hair and clenched. The kiss was messy, tasted bitter and salty from my own tears and my eyes went wide in shock. For a moment my mind blanked out, I was so startled with his action that all I did was stay frozen but then reality rushed back in like water filling my lungs and I pushed hard against his chest.

He immediately let me go and I fell back onto my backside, scrambling a few extra inches away on purpose.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I shouted at him.

"I-" he started, and then stopped. "I- I'm sorry. I was just trying to reassure you and..."

"By kissing me?!," I interrupted angrily, eyes wide. I'd just finished telling Sesshoumaru that he'd had nothing to worry about when it came to Inuyasha and I, and now I was left feeling queasy as if I'd lied. I shuffled, drawing my legs underneath me to stand up and he did the same, coming forward to lessen the gap I'd created between us, quickly grabbing my wrist before I could back away again.

"Let go of me," I said. I wasn't trying to be mean but I knew it must be coming off like that. I was just so confused. "Please... just... let go."

His mouth opened, intent on saying something before he blinked and looked down at the wrist in his grasp. I tried to pull it back again but he held it firmly, twirling it in his hands and staring as if looking for something.

"You're not… why isn't it burned?" His eyebrows were furrowed as his head jerked up to look at me, "I saw Sesshoumaru grab you. His dokatsu is poisonous. You should be injured but… you're not."

I looked down and stared at the clear skin on my wrist too, so unlike the marred flesh of Inuyasha's neck. How had that happened? Sesshoumaru's hands had still most definitely been glowing an iridescent green when he'd grabbed me and I was sure my powers had not been present then so it couldn't have been that. Unfortunately though, I'd have to ponder on it some other time because at the moment I had another situation on my hands. Besides, I was fine. That was a good thing right?

"I don't know Inuyasha but that's besides the point right now. Why would you kiss me?"

During the quiet that followed my question, I tried to answer it myself with the least complicated explanation I could think of. It was far-fetched but I still hoped that it had been merely just to startle me so bad I stopped crying. I mean, technically if that was the reason behind it, it had worked.

Without thinking, his hand rose to rub against the back of his neck and he winced. I winced too a little empathetically but did notice that he was already healing and at least no longer bleeding from his wounds.

After that he sighed and blinked up at me. The look he gave me guaranteed that his reason for the kiss was not so simple like I'd hoped it would be.

"I know you've said we're just friends," Inuyasha began, his eyes glazed over with an emotion I'd never seen in them before, "but I had hoped… I mean… I thought that maybe…"

I couldn't let him finish. If he got through saying it all it'd probably just hurt him more in the end. I didn't need this right now. So much had already just gone wrong and I really didn't want to play a part in hurting him too. I loved Inuyasha but… just not in that way.

"Inuyasha… I..," I paused. What was the best way to say it? What was the best way to break his heart without ruining us? I inwardly cringed at the horrible phrasing and selfishness of my own thought and hoped he'd be okay with whatever came out of my mouth next, "I- I've always looked at you like a friend… I love you... like a brother...like family." _And one day soon I hope that you'll really be family,_ I added mentally, a thought which only brought forth a new problem.

Before I thought Inuyasha would have been okay with it but how was I to tell him about Sesshoumaru and I now? If there still was a Sesshoumaru and I… if he was okay. My heart clenched and the world spun. I started feeling weak in the knees.

What I didn't expect after saying what I'd said was for Inuyasha to smile. It wasn't a grin particularly up to par with his usual ones, it was only half way there and there was a hint of sadness or disappointment that he was obviously trying to hide, but it was still a smile nonetheless.

The fact that I hadn't just competely destroyed a friendship, one that sincerely meant a lot to me, helped me breath a little easier... at least for the moment.

"I figured you might say something like that," he admitted with a voice laced in good humor, finally releasing my wrist from his grasp, leveling me with one last lingering look filled with an emotion that I could now recall glistening in his eyes many times before, and then he looked away. "Well, do you think that we should go back inside?"

I looked at him and then back towards the building we'd emerged from not long ago. The events of the night replaying in my head, ending with the terrible scene that's happened after I'd come running out in search of Sesshoumaru. "There is no way I'm going back in there," I said bluntly.

But my search for Sesshoumaru was no where near over.

Word Count: 2024

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><p><em>Thanks for reading :). And again, I'm sorry to everyone who was following this story and had to wait so very long.<em>


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